Shit, man – what’s my 20 bucks for?

LA Santacon/Santarchy can get big – like some years as big as 400 Santas. 400 Santas! That’s excitement, that’s cheer, that’s an unmitigated whallop of jack-assery and mischief. That’s a lot of HO! - A sea of red to coordinate and a lot of Santa to move in a city dominated by sprawl and traffic lights.

This year Santa ain’t slummin’ it – we’ve got private chartered busses (sleighs). It’s been done in the past more than once with great success. Using busses not only streamlines the entire event, but allows sexy Santa to wear high heeled hooker boots all day without killing her feet.

Have you ever ridden in a bus packed with screaming Santas hanging out the windows, blowing kisses to the honking, cheering passersby? Well, it’s really fucking fun. So get on the bus – we’ll sing my holiday favorite, “Walkin’ Round in Women’s Underwear,” and keep our selves merry and further fuel the Holiday Chaos with surprise beverages and refreshments. Busses are not cheap and neither are the excellent, well-tipped drivers who are cheerful and tolerant of our shit. Busses are so worth the twenty bucks.

I mean, damn. When the LAPD calls in a chopper to investigate Santa having a snowball fight, disturbing the peace with naughty Twister and eating yellow snow, who comes to the rescue? The private chartered busses being driven by cheerful, well-tipped drivers who wanna save your silly Santa ass – that’s who. You want this convenience and amenity on your side.

All funds collected on the event are spent on SANTA – or tipping his bartenders who put up with the carnage. Or paying extra clean-up fees to the restaurant when Santa hurls into a plastic potted plant – it happens. Absolutely no Santa is paid for planning this shindig.

There is a contingency plan with a lower fee in the works for Santas on bikes – but remember that this year, Santa is headed out to spots that might be too far for bicycles. Just sayin’.

LA is a big place, something like 4 million potential Santas – if you really want a free Santacon, then by all means, co-ordinate one. The more the merrier! But, we really hope you join us! Yes, we will be checking tickets. If you show up expecting to hop on the sleigh and drink the special eggnog without paying, then you’re going to get left behind in a snowdrift – er – I mean, a street corner.

And remember, Santa has to plan this shit out in advance. If 100 extra Santa Fools show up at the last minute, it’s 100% impossible for Santa to pull an extra private chartered bus out of his jolly ass.

So register early and let’s show LA how to bring on the HO!

 Guest post by SantaTude!

Comments

[dogfood]

I just have to totally disagree with the idea of using chartered buses. While LA is public transit challenged, there are more than enough places for Santa that public transit does go.

Using public transit is cheaper, greener and more convenient. It also helps make a statement that Santa supports and encourages public transit. It supports bars and restaurants that have chosen to locate along public transit routes.

Last year's Santa Con on the Gold and Red Lines was fantastic.

[Santa]

Santa doesn't make environmental statements.

[Girlibob]

I've only gone years that were bus years and it was super fun. I say give it a chance!

[Emma Leigh]

This Santa enjoyed taking the gold & red lines last year & mingling w/the public. Kinda disappointed we're using buses this year, but willing to give it a try.

[Lee]

As an 11 year veteran of Santacon, I've been on every means of transportation possible. Buses are by far my favorite. It's actually cheaper too as you will spend far less at the bars. Also, the group tends to stay together better making it MUCH more fun. I was actually thinking of skipping this year, but the buses convinced me.