heathervescent

All Bets Are Off

Several year ago, when I called San Francisco my home, I changed my life. If you go back far enough on the blog you can visit those days. I stopped living by rules, because I realized the rules no longer applied. All Bets Were Off. It wasn't my choice, the bets being off. I just realized my world had changed.

Last Saturday I remembered those days. My old mantra went through my mind. I was the single passenger, sitting in the co-pilot's seat in a small 6 seater Cessna on it's way to a dusty runway in the desert. I feasted my eyes on the brown landscape, broken only by the turquoise of Pyramid Lake. My mind went back to the old phrase, rolled it around in my mind. It wasn't just me the bets were all off for. It was the whole world. The rules in the world have changed. The Bets are Off for all of us now. And it's actually quite freeing.

The Decision on Burning Man

I've been reading Brian Doherty's This is Burning Man and it's a strange lolly in my mouth. You see, I have two tickets for the festival this year, but I have decided to skip it. I don't feel the love, my life is taking a different direction and I'll have my surrogate carbque soon enough.

And then Brian gave me his book.

I spent much of the weekend reading it. I remember the early days of BM - although I didn't attend them. I worked in a SF start-up with friends that introduced me to SRL and SF Caco along with Craigslist. I remember meeting Michael Michael and John Law and Scott Beale at lush hoff brau taxidermyed Tommy's Joynt. That was back then when I had naturally blonde hair and was married. Times far past.

It's strange reading Brian's book. He describes all these people I knew or met shortly around the time I met them. Some of them I've come to know better - all of them I have immense respect and admiration for. Through Brian, I get to know these men I admire more intimately. I feel like a voyeur learning these things not from them directly. I suppose it's similar to those of you who know my intimate thoughts though we've never met.

I think back to the images of who they are in my head. I almost I wish I had been out there to experience it directly. Almost.

It is my deepest desire to create something of lasting importance to / for this world. Something beautiful, but crazy and fucked up and utterly novel and unique. Something beyond my energy - which will be gone when I am gone. For the people in this world. Something that makes people become more aware of their possibilities - and also encouraged and activated to make them reality.

That's what's so inspiring about Brian's book. It makes me want my actions to impact as many as theirs. To be as big. As secretly innovative and raw cutting edge. It's about the people - who are just people and not gods. It's about the attitude needed to do something new. It's the ugly messy early time.

But this is not the year. There is still the slight chance I will make a last minute decision and go. But for now the decision is to not go. Something's telling me there's something else in my immediate future. There's something bigger than Burning Man on my horizon.

Unicorns, Rainbows, um yeah

The reward for being tapped into the collective unconscious is to be tapped into the collective unconscious. But sometimes I wish I was rewarded for being ahead of the curve.

Seattle's Burning Man Decom theme is Rainbows and Unicorns

I like the cars that go BOOM!

TikiFkos were playing  "Tigre and Bunny's - cars go boom" mashup and I couldn't help myself. Jenna caught my classic car-b-que activities on film. The "Heather" she is complaining to, is me. Thanks for taking one for me Jenna. xoxo, your BBF (your bad best friend)

oh yeah, and I this was one of the times I blew the door off the car-b-que. Perhaps you can imagine the effect at 3:30 in the morning. The sky lights up with a flash of boom, and then I pull a pizza out of the pizza oven (on the other side). pps. notice the unicorn hood ornament!

Playa Thanks

Here's my #6: Saying Thank you

• Thank you neon crew for early hang time, different perspectives and kicking ass.
• Thank you Hippy for your footie PJ chaps
• Thank you Jet Fuel and Kasey for welding a new door for the car-b-que (so I could blow it off twice)
• Thank you Barzilla for great nights on the playa!
• Thank you Jenna for making pizzas in the dark of the night - BFF!!!!
• Thank you moon for being eclipsed
• Thank you rainbow for making the unicorns worth bringing to the playa. Seeing Linda and Annatude dancing with you on their heads was worth it.
• Thank you smoke daddy for the ball and chain
• Thank you Norm for you know what
• Thank you V-Run for power-cooking
• Thank you Ellen for organizing the Nurse Rampage and who ever handed me the megaphone. Rampaging in the whiteout rocked!
• Thank you to the damn texans - it was awesome having you in the village.
• Thank you car-b-que for fire, food and minor injuries
• Thank you butane, propane, oxy-acetylene balloons and pallets of wood.
• Thank you leather gloves
• Thank you Cat for playing Culture Club, Pat Benatar and Britney Spears at Death Guild
• Thank you mommyvescent and Giang for sending home baked treats to the playa

Thank you world for existing. And thank you desert for letting us crazy human beings invade your silence, solitude for a moment in time. We are but blips in your landmass river of time.

Post cards from the Playa

To everyone who text messaged me your mailing address, I did indeed send you a postcard or letter from the playa. They went out on Saturday (a week ago) and playa mail takes a bit of time, so hold tight, and let's hope you get it. I did receive two AWESOME playa care packages. My mom sent home baked brownies, better than sex cake and oatmeal cookies with bacardi infused raisins. These blew my mind after being on playa for more than a week. Then my friend Giang sent me some amazing homebaked cookies. I don't know what I ate - I had never had them before. Were they some traditional Australian treats? Whatever they were we loved them. I especially liked the round orange/yellow ones.

Linda was hosting high tea (with earl grey served in China!!!) and everyone loved the treats. Thanks!

I didn't receive any postcards (although I heard some were sent), so apologies. Next year, I'm running the Gigsville post office, so hopefully we'll have a better mail delivery service going.

And I must say, I really do love receiving the care packages on playa. A few years ago Mike Pusateri sent me one (my first) and I've loved getting them ever since. Thanks Mike, Mom and Giang for reminding me of civilization in the desert.

Me and a Unicorn

Here's Zarka's unicorn (inspired by Rainbow Unicorn Camp dream) that I took to the playa wired up on the car-b-que, with a rainbow behind it. (Later we poured kerosine on it and burned it - photos of that coming up soon.)

I was beautifully surprised (but not really surprised, because I knew there was a reason I would create such a crazy camp as Rainbow Unicorn - dude I live in the vortex of syncronicity) when the real rainbow showed up. Double Rainbow in fact. I guess I shouldn't be disappointed that no one else notices my complete fluid alignment with the universe. But sometimes, I wish someone would notice - and give me a freaking award for it. Because yeah, I do it for myself, but I also do it to show that it can be done.

On second thought. Maybe that double rainbow was my award. Maybe being me is reward in itself.

The Rainbow Connection

Doc took this photo of Gigsville, yes, that's a unicorn in the front row. Yes, that's a rainbow behind us. Rainbow Unicorn Camp, yay!

Playa enlightenment

Each year, a general theme becomes apparent. This year, two showed their faces. Here they are.

1. There is no baseline
2. Unicorns are the new Hardcore

Baselines are arbitrary. They are like lines in the sand - they can be drawn anywhere and mean anything. These lines in the sand are also the beginning of my exploration with boundaries and segmentation.

As far as unicorns are concerned, don't think they spend their days prancing and preening. Nope. Unicorns are the new hardcore. I will explain later, but trust me on this.

A Playa Love Story - A girl, a car and fire

I remember the first time I saw him. It was night on the playa four years ago. I was walking back from the bathroom and I spied his flickering flame. I thought to myself, was that really a VW bus on fire? I had stepped into my ring of fire.

Injuries Enumerated & Solutions Suggested

I've been lucky that I've gotten away injury free for this many Burning Man's (and desert camping trips). But this year my number came up. Luckily I limped away with only minor ouchies. Some of my other camp-mates were not so lucky. (xo Booger & Elliot, I'm sending you my xxx). Here's what I got:

1. Twisted Ankle - because I was running away from the car-b-que (about to explode)
2. Minor burns on my arms from stoking the car-b-que fire
3. Some splinters from carrying loads (about 6 pallets) of wood to the car-b-que
4. A small scalp burn and singed hair from flying exploding embers (they were my fault)
5. Some hurt feelings

My mom suggested these solutions, which I'll share because they're good.

For the ankle --

soak the ankle in epsom salts.  You can reheat the epsom salt water in the microwave  and you can soak a small towel in the solution and lay it across you pooor booboo.   It will help to take the ache away.  Also at Costco ( and maybe a walgreens--- you can get some Tiger Balm (walmart) or some patches called "Salon Pas"  in a small green box. --- perfect for your injury.   

Now for the burns ---   

aloe vera, and if you can get your hands on it --Sulfadine cream ----esp for burns --helps the rapid regrowth of skin.

Now ... for your hurt feelings....

just soak in the misery of them and remember how they feel --- so you know how others feel when you inadvertently hurt their feelings...     It's called developing compassion for others and it keeps us humble.
This too will pass......

Thanks Mom!

Burning Man is not my desert

I told you a little bit about my desert and how I like to experience it. Today, I want to tell you that Burning Man is NOT like that desert experience. When you go to Burning Man, you are not leaving civilization. You are not in a desolate, barren place. It is instead a blank canvas on which many possibilities in human creativity are realized.

Burning Man is the intersection of two worlds. The natural world - everything on this earth came from the earth. Everything has been refined. Every single thing you'll see on the playa (or today wherever you are) came from the earth. And the human world. Man taking these raw materials and transforming them into magical fantastic creations.

At burning man, we are all actors on a stage. We've disconnected from our everyday life and take on the persona of someone else. This disconnect allows something new to happen - call it magic. It's a bath in this type of energy. It's addictive to shed your stinky character and be something different.

The first time I was on the playa, I was disgusted. I hated the destruction of the desert quietude with the racour of dance clubs. The destruction of the cracked surface into a fine powder. This was another way people - supposedly enlightened people - we just abusing nature. But then I saw this is not about Nature. It's about humanity. (And it's not about people living in harmony with nature either.) It's an opportunity to leave everything behind, and become like the playa - a blank canvas on which a picture will be painted. A new story to be lived. It's a disconnect. A view, that the life you think you have to live, is the only way.

Because it's not.

But you don't have to go to Burning Man to get that. But you won't find a wider display of human creativity anywhere on the planet.

Burning the Unicorns

Tonight they burn. You are invited the the 3rd Fire in the Hole competition, with the burning of the unicorns as the finale.

The spirit listens only when the speaker speaks in gestures. And gestures do not mean signs or body movements, but acts of true abandon, acts of largesse, of humor. As a gesture for the spirit, warriors bring out the best of themselves and silently offer it to the abstract.
- CC

Time will show, what will rise from the unicorn flames. This is my Offret.

Paradigm Shift

There are things we believe today - things that science has taught us are true - that are not actually true at all. Big things. Things that make us believe the world is the way it is - but it is not. Things that will change the way we see the world.

When I was in grammar school I remembered learning about the solar system. How the sun is the center of our system - but the crazy thing is - it was not always believed to be this way. Before science discovered that it is really the sun that is the center, people believed the earth was the center of the universe. People also believed that the earth was flat and not a sphere.

It wasn't that science had failed those early humans that obsessed me - it was how the new knowledge changed their worldview. The Shift. What was life like when they thought the world was flat, what about after? Did they even know they believed the wrong thing?

And then, in a horror of horrors, it dawned on me, that there are most likely huge beliefs that I believe (and everyone else living along with me) believe as well - in some far far future time, will be shown to be false and incorrect. I could not bear the burden of believing a falsity - being unable to seek out the truth - my 7 year old brain could not bear it. But there was nothing to be done about it, so I went outside and played in the hot humid Iowa air.

But still this idea haunts me. I know that big idea is out there. That big paradigm shift is nearby. The one that will rip the fabric and when the light bleeds out we won't be able to ignore it anymore.

On God

I am not an atheist. But I don't believe in a god that has been defined by any religion. From before I can remember, I've believed in this force, energy, that moves and is part of everything in the universe. I'm part of it - or rather it makes up part of me. I am a tool of the divine. Just as nature is and this computer as well. Everything we interact with - came from this earth - from a RAW form.

I've always felt this connection. I'm a tool. I've been used by it. And others have been used to show me something, communicate with me.

There are more things in heaven and earth, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
- Shakespeare

I don't want to know everything in the world - I mean, I do, but I want to discover it. Be delighted by it. And enjoy the surprise. I will not live a bored life.

Spare some change?

If your practice is good, you may become proud of it. What you do is good, but something more is added to it. Pride is extra. Right effort is to get rid of something extra.
  - Shunryu Suzuki

It's also about impeccability.

A warrior know that he cannot change, and yet he makes it his business to try to change, nevertheless. The warrior is never disappointed when he fails to change. that the only advantage a warrior has over the average man.
- CC

Well, that means I still have a long way on the warrior's path. I still get mad when I don't change, when I don't know what going to happen before it happens, when I'm not superhuman limited to this body. The good news in this, is that I still have a lot of time to work on myself.

Call for Packages!

I'm off to my sacred pilgrimage this week and you should send me care packages and postcards of delight. If you send a self address stamped envelope, I'll write you back. Please no mail arrival before Aug 27th. I will forever be embedded to you and you will hold a special place in my inner circle.

heathervescent
Gigsville
Rainbow Unicorn Camp or Red Mailbox off Van-B-Que Circle
4:00/3:30 and Coral Reef
c/o BRCPO
Burning Man
Gerlach, NV 89412

As to what to send? Home baked cookies, brownies, chocolate that won't melt, a new toothbrush, mascara, AA batteries, glow sticks, ammo (jk!), poetry, a newspaper, scotch, wet wipes - anything you think you would want after being in a desert for a week. Or some joke.

Also, if you want anything to be taken as an offering to the Temple for the burn, I will willing transport it for you.

Burning Man Costumes - Redux

It's always strange to have a weekend at home. I'm most productive with a task list and this is one of the last weekends before burning man, so my focus was on pre-playa prep. I initially had a costume freak out, thinking that I didn't have any costumes and would be stuck wearing some regular clothes. You see, the domestic life is very good to the heathervescent and she's put on some weight! My slinky BM clothes from 3 years ago will not fit. But then I remembered my banana costume. And then the zombie cheerleader costume. And then my nurse costume (that I got for the Art of Bleeding show last October) and then I opened my closet and costume drawers, and it was like a cornucopia of possibilities! Really, there was no reason I should have ever worried, but I like to freak out sometimes.

I found my old Aeon Flux costume (which needs a new zipper) several sets of playa boots, evening gowns bought for the desert (what can I say, I do love the excessiveness of glamor in unusual places), capes, cloaks, wigs, gloves, stockings, knee highs - everything you could possibly want for the playa. But then in a fit of anger, I went to Melrose to try to fix my cell phone (which is an unlocked european phone that cingular has no clue how to deal with and I get horrible cell service since the iphone launched (me hate you apple!) and I walked by Aardvarks. Why I went in there, when I was feeling good about my costumes is beyond me. I picked up a lab coat, a couple flight suits, an ice purple cloak and wig to match, and too many other things. I think I now have costumes for a month on the playa. But wait! Don't stop there Heather, you're too good at being excessive. So how do we continue the excessiveness? Go to Hollywood Blvd! I picked up a new pair of boots, a police costume and some other spandex loveliness before headed into to the Costume shop - where I put my excessiveness on hold. I mean, do I really need to own a mascot costume? Well, not this year, unless you happen to have one sitting in your closet that I can borrow...

Unicorn Update

Unicorn Reality!

Building to Burn

I've built lots of fire. I love building fires. Whether they are tiny cholla cooking fires in the Mojave or a van full of pallets, I like coaxing the potential from the wood with a flame.

It has been a long time since I have made "art". This year, she's venturing out, I bound and put her on a pedestal long ago, she is dusty and covered with a tarp. But no more. That's what these unicorns are about. And since I am going to Burning Man, I might as well make them to burn.

It's an interesting experience. Spending time crafting, manifesting my vision, only to destroy it. It's been a while since I have built something physical. And as I build it, I envision it's destruction. Does this make me do cheap construction? Because I know it will be destroyed, do I make it easy to destroy? No, actually it is quite the opposite. I'm building these unicorns to survive (well, other than in a fire). So knowing they will be destroyed makes no difference in the quality of my construction.

Ok, so what about ego? Isn't art about ego? Aren't artists egotistical about their art? Well, in my case, I am trying to create a vision I have. I suppose it's my vision, since it's from my head, but I could also just as easily say I'm the vessel for the vision. I'm the one listening. I heard the vision and bought some tools.

Another interesting observation, since I'm building my unicorns to burn, is that I am detached from them. I have invested the time to build them the right way, but I have not invested so much of myself. In fact, I have invested very little of myself. I am the tool being used by the universe to build these unicorns to burn. Just as I am a tool being used to create and do the many things I do. I'm looking forward to the excellent fire, that will destroy my beautiful creations. In fact, I will probably build it up, to be a fire worthy of their destruction.

Ready, Set, Go

So, yeah, I wasn't going to do this today, but why not. I'm in line and there are more than 5,000 people ahead of me. Woo. I guess this means I'm going.

Decom debrief

So LA Decom was this weekend. I had never attended a decom before because I really see no reason to try to re-live the burning man lifestyle in real life. I'm not one of these people that tries to turn burning man into this year long lifestyle.

But some friends got talked into doing some interesting things and I agreed to organize Theory Radio broadcasting live in addition to reprising Hollaback Thriller on stage. Decom was really like the playa. And not in a good way. It took 4 hours to get everything set up and then the Internet connectivity didn't work. (We planned to broadcast the event so we needed the connectivity.)

Then we switched over to wireless and got going. About 20 minutes later the huge sound system set up across the street from us started blasting music so loud that my colleague and I had to yell at each other to have a conversation even though we were standing next to each other. Then there was the drama of moving everything. More connectivity issues. It was like living in a third world country.

Then when we're on stage ready to perform Hollaback Thriller the music never started. (Apparently the CD could not be read.)  It didn't help that I experienced the day on I had 3 1/2 hours of sleep and little food.

Once they opened the door, the freaks came in. I don't really want to look at women's asses hanging out of your tight bikini boy shorts, and if I want to see a pole routine, I know where to go, thank you very much.

There were some good times. It was fun to make weird hot dogs for the hot dog glory hole, experience puppet karaoke, make fun of people on the radio and give people whipped cream "in the mouth". But you know what? I don't think it was worth it. I realized I really do have candy raver rage. I don't like fake fur. And I really don't want to see your naked ass, apron man.

I'm glad burning man exists, but the power in it, is that it's not everyday. Or even twice a year. Or maybe, I'm just a bit more private in my yearly expression. I don't know.

The Waffle Burns

I can not take credit for this piece of video. Note the chanting "Holy Fucking Shit".

What I didn't do at Burning Man this year

What I did NOT do:

• I didn't go to center camp (not even for ice)
• I didn't go out to the man (the one time I made it out there, it was already closed for burn night)
• I didn't ride in critical tits
• I didn't get stuck in an 8 hour exodus
• I didn't take a shower (just washed my hair once in 5 days)
• I didn't end up in the medic clinic
• I didn't read Goblin Market with Wa!
• Get dust all over my stuff
• Get disgusted by the porta potties (I have no idea why)
• Break up with my boyfriend

So, what did I do?

• I threw cans of explosives into the Van-B-Que
• I wore my silver evening gown
• Brought white peaches
• Play with the fire serpent
• Watch the Waffle burn
• Get a creepy hug
• Dance with my cowbells (like they were maracas)
• Get a blister

This was probably the soberest BM experience I've ever had. I was not really in the balls out partying mode and I was totally fine with that. I saw some friends. I trekked out to the trash fence once. I rode on some artcars. I hung out by the car-b-que.

There was some trepidation going to Burning Man with the boyfriend. It's known to be hard on relationships. If we were going to go, I wanted us to go together. For the most part, it turned out great. He's more inclined to walk everywhere and the playa is a big place. I like to go out into the deep playa, but I usually bring a bike. Because we flew this year, there was no bike. I was all about hopping one of the many artcars in camp (except I felt a little guilty b/c I really didn't help out on any of the big projects this year since I wasn't planning on going). So it was hard to compromise, especially since I had new boots that weren't really broken in. We worked it out though.

Burn night was fantastic, but I think the waffle burn was the most spectacular large scale fire I have experienced. The flames were wild, the wind whipped themselves into fire tornadoes over and over. I was glad we made the last minute decision to go. Next year, though, if I go, I have big plans.

Burner's are the new boys club

Here's an interesting article from CNN on burners and the Burning Man culture. Yes, I admit, I much prefer to do business with other burners - even if I have never met them. It takes a certain type of person to go to the playa and yes, they get extra credit in my book. Not only are they most likely self-sufficient, they are generally more creative and willing to think between the lines. Oh yeah, and they probably like fire and blowing shit up.

I'd much rather hire and work for/with people who can do crazy risky things responsibly. It's what I call, managing risk strategically. It's not like you're not willing to take risks, it's just that you plan your risks and manage them for the least risk impact.

On a similar note, I met the Dance Dance Immolation people. I LOVE them. Last year, they were one of my most favorite installations. Any exhibit where you can suit up in a fireproof suit and get flames blasted at you and dance to Duran Duran's remix gets extra gold stars.

... still de playaing.

home again

I'm back from BRC! It was a short but explosive trip.

5 day Address

I'm here for the next 5 days. Send all postcards and packages to me here.

Heathervescent
Gigsville
Lahontan Corps, off the Uberman and Van-B-Que Circle
4:00 and Destiny
c/o BRCPO
Burning Man
Gerlach, NV 89412

playa packing

I'm finishing up my last deliverables before I start packing for the playa. Some friends who are staying in town have sent along some links that are getting me excited!

Wired is doing a burning man blog. (I personally can't imagine wanting to blog from Burning Man - there is just too much to see and experience)

Then there is supposedly live video coverage on Current TV.

I'm planning to arrive on the playa tomorrow night. In fact this time 24 hours from now the wind will be blowing in my hair as I leave Reno on 80. I can't wait to say "hi" to the Van-B-Que!

But for the next hour my fingers must fly tipatapping on my keyboard composing order from the chaos of opinion and creating more order as I pack my essential playa items.

Going to the Playa

It was a total last minute decision. I had planned to take this year off. There are many many things going on in the life that need my attention. But the playa is pulling the heathervescent to the blank slate. So I put the word out. If I get a couple tickets my way, I'll go. I followed up on a couple ticket opportunities, with no luck. Then out of the blue I got a call. Two ticket in Brentwood. I snapped them up, booked the flights and reserved the minivan. It's going to be a short short trip, but I'll be there. With my toolbelt and lazer gun a flashing.

And I'm totally excited. The theme is The Future, Hope and Fear. It's oh so apt on so many levels. Now, what does the playa have in store for me this year. And what do I have in store for the playa?

Decision Flip-Flop

I've been silent on the topic of burning man this year. I've had mixed feelings about going all year - since tickets went on sale - and I didn't buy one. There are many reasons I should go. I'll be camping with my uberfavorite camp - Gigsville - which I feel completely at home in. I coordinated the cowbell project, which will put the playa aclang of custom gigsville cowbells. Not to mention the personalized patches of beating a dead horse on fire (our favorite thing to do on the list).

In addition to Ubie, the uberman who stands as tall as the man, there's the trebuche being brought up by some friends at Umlaut Haus. Doc's Cheshire Cat will be out there, along with a new one. And there are some new art cars debuting in Gigsville this year. Plus I've lost track of the myriad of weddings happening out on the playa this year. How can I not go?

Well, for some reason, I'm just not feeling it. I want to see my friends, hang out with them, explore the playa, ride around in the art cars, hang out in camp, karaoke on the uberman and hand out hot pizzas from the Van-B-Que (and stoke it up real high). But, the magic sparkle in my eye for Burning Man is just not there this year.

So I'm going to take a breather. I know what will be happening miles away in a Nevada Desert in a couple weeks, but I'll be here in LA - or better yet, I'll be driving the Mojave Road.

Burning Man in the house

So the theme of Burning Man this year is "The Future: Hope and Fear". Personally I think that's two themes, but whatever - I'm not the BMORG. I'm much amused because my house is literally on Future and my bedroom is currently full of drywall dust - which is what the dry lake bed that Burning Man is held on is full of. So I'm having a mini-burning man in my bedroom. The metaphor continues. Burning Man is a temporary city - and well, my living in the future is temporary - as much as I pretend to be in denial about it.

I was sitting on the bed yesterday, surveying the project (sanding the ceiling, priming ceiling and wall and re-painting over the patched ceiling wound), looking at my bookshelves and the books and other items stacked on them. Feeling a sense of comfort from my books and things and at the same time feeling completely alien and outgrown. So many books with memories attached to them. Someone who gave them to me, someone who read stories out of that one to me. Books I bought with no intention to read. Books that changed my perceptions of the world when I read them. Books I keep to remind me of college classes I didn't do enough with. Books I want to know the contents of, but don't want to read.

I feel all these things in an instant. In the moment. And I'm detached. Detached from the thoughts, from the books, from my room, from my house. I'm not grounded here anymore. These things don't have my current energy. So where is it? The person who filled these bookcases is not the person looking at them. Where did she go? She's in the past: the Future. My world is shifting right in front of my eyes, in my own house. What do I hope? What do I fear? I fear leaving the future because it represents someone I no longer am, but I really enjoyed being. I've transformed some major personality characteristics in that house. And I'm walking out a different person with more awareness.

But the bigger question is, where am I walking out to? It's not the future, because that is what I'm leaving behind.

Free wood = Fire

Free wood = big fire in the car-b-que for the annual Sunday night pot-luck at Gigsville. Seared meat = yum. More pictures can be found here.

That red neon in the back is the Uberman rising above Black Rock City. It's neon hand announces that it's time for pie. Don't you feel like a slice of pie right now?

insanity!

I leave tomorrow for that thing in the desert - Burning Man. I realized this week that some people have Christmas, but I have Burning Man. I finally finished my errands. I have two art projects to finish, clean the land cruiser, grocery shopping and then the final pack. Not to mention cleaning the room so that I have a beautiful place to crash when I return 9 days later and light years evolved.

In my absence from the web (there is a slight chance, I'll find wifi on the playa - if so, I will be sure to blog) I have some stuff cued up. Enjoy and maybe see ya on the playa. Feel free to send me postcards, letter, self addressed stamped envelopes to my playa address.

Heathervescent
Tazii Camp in Sanctuary Village
4:30 and Catharsis
c/o BRCPO
Burning Man
Gerlach, NV 89412

For every SAS padded envelope, I'll tell you how to get your heart's desire and include a fair quantity of playa dust. Consider it your 21st century pixie dust.

Burning man costumes 2005

The room is a mess, but I've got a whole slew of fabulous costumes put together for burning man. You'll have to join me on the playa to see em in person.

welding for burning man

yeah, so I was stick welding the other day.

Planning for the Man

It's that time of year again, time to get ready for Burning Man. I've got second year fever and really am involved in a plethora of activities. Come see me on Playa, here are the pies I've got my fingers in:

- Tazii camp in Sanctuary Village
I'm working on the kitchen and tent crew this year, in addition to teaching a class called: "How to get your Heart's Desire" in the very cool Tazii Moroccan tent. The class is on Wed evening at 4pm on playa. Come and learn wish fulfillment. I'm also giving I-Ching readings at the I-Ching tree.

- I am the god of hellfire and I bring you .... fire cauldrons. I worked on Charlie Smith's Synapses Project and will be on playa minion and general firefry.

- I'm also working on the supersecret fun Gigsville uberproject. In fact, I'm hope to get bikini welding pictures today.

In addition to decking out the Land Cruiser, making new costumes, and building aforesaid I-Ching tree. I'm super excited and there is a lot going on - not just for the man, but in all facets of life.

T'ung J^en / Fellowship with Men

above The Creative, Heaven
below The Clinging, Flame

The Vault of Heaven in Flame
The man rose over the city on a dome. Domes are a popular structure in Black Rock City as they are structurally sound, easy to raise and use minimal materials. The Man's dome was open to the sky. Red lights picked up radio signals from two years ago. Some messages returned in their entirety, some were changed and some were new responses. The mad scientist showed me how to use the listening device to point it at one of the red lights and listen to the sounds.

Fireworks went off around the city letting its citizens know the time for the burn was very soon. I meandered through the crowd looking at the costumes of this city - my city. I saw amazing EL wire art. On the back of one figure was an animated EL Wire Jedi/Samurai winding up and making a gently curving sword strike. I lost Mariah and Joe when we stopped to look at the electric Anubis Headdress. There was an umbrella twirling with ribbons. All eyes turned to the man, as his electric neon arms started to rise and stopped in the pre-burn pose.

Fire tempters juggle poi, hula hoops of fire and spit fire. It's a hot magical night and the man watches over all from high. The dancers clear out. We will burn our god tonight.

A hush echoes through the crowd circling the man as we stretch our bodies, looking and listening for the first flicker of flame. The sky explodes with fireworks. Splashes of silver and gold. Fountains of fire. Sprays of colored sparks. And below, the first glow of oranges as fire appears in the dome, contemplatitive at first then raging into the dome struts full of magnesium. The dome burns pink, red, magenta, blue. A leg catches fire, a wrist sprays green fingers. Fire creeps up the legs into the left arm. The dome is ablazing. The sound of structure breaking, a crack and the left arm falls in a gradual deafening blaze of fire and grating metal. His head is still untouched. The body blazes blue green and then dies into the yellow orange of hot burning wood. The man has shed his metallic clothes. The right wrist sprays green. Explosives shoot skyward from the dome as the first part falls in with a deafening crash. It is the beginning of the end for the dome. Screeching of breaking metal heralds the descent of the right arm. The dome ablaze and collapsing in large pieces. The entire left side breaking away from the center and falling in with cinderflash. The smoke rising in tornadoes of flame and smoke and cinders. Fire elementals dancing around the many smoke funnels spiraling into the night sky.

The man stands alone on the center dome supports. The sides have completely collapsed. His face is still untouched by flame. Then in an instant the support breaks and with a graceful plunge, like a line of Chinese calligraphy, the man slides to the left and plunges into the flames.