heathervescent

Competition vs Collaboration

I've been trying to come to terms with a (business) world that is fixated on competition, crushing and winning. My own inclinations are to collaboration - building something together. I've about given up on being successful because the moment competition gets added to the mix, I lose interest and walk away. Should I not give away this weakness? Do I lack the drive to be truly successful? I wonder. Anyway, I decided to do a little research on the matter and found this really nice comment on this post. I too, have studied aikido (about a decade ago) and it made an impact on my worldview.

I was a younger woman at the time, in my early 20s and, while we did have quite a few women aikidoists/aikidota, most of my practice partners were men. And some of them were big assholes (or going through an asshole phase).

I really like what this guy says here:

When I exert power OVER someone else in order to win, actually both the winner and the loser are weak. Whereas when I connect powerfully WITH my opponent (partner), we both become more powerful. 

That's what I'd like to see. Collaboration joins forces... sometimes for an instant, rarely for eternity.

Power over vs. power with

 Posted by michaelwolff at Jun 23, 2009 05:06 PM

In Western culture there is a sense that when I compete and win I am therefore stronger, more powerful and more successful. In the same culture, when I collaborate, I do so out of weakness because I do not have the power to win. 

Practising an Eastern martial art (say aikido) one learns that the opposite is true. When I exert power OVER someone else in order to win, actually both the winner and the loser are weak. Whereas when I connect powerfully WITH my opponent (partner), we both become more powerful. 

Connecting powerfully WITH someone is the willingness to extend oneself for the purpose of nurturing one's own and another's well being. So in this respect, where collaboration is the process of connectinv powerfully with each other for the mutual benefit of the collaborating parties, then clearly this mode of behaviour is preferable to competition. 

Poems

I wrote these a decade ago and they have been rattling in my head a bit more than usual the past month. I put them here to remind myself.

I went,

I went and took.

What did I leave in return?

My Change.

(upon my first visit to Foz de Iguacu / South America, 1995)

*     *     *

I'll give you what you want,

mind,

body,

soul.

Except one thing,

I have to escape.

This poem is pretty much the crux of my existence. I can't explain it. You just have to get it on another level. The closest thing that comes to it is the phrase "ghost in the shell."

A French Surrealist

I'm lurking in the back of the gilded theatre. Surrounded by drunk techno-wannabes and some truly innovative engineer-future-hacker-developers. I'm irritated at the 20 something asian chick playing the black guy and the indian guy off each other. The art on the screen reminds me a long lost "friend" - and the status of his projects - awareness smacking. It pulled me out of one of my existentialist crisis a decade ago. But not today. In that decade I've traveled down the caverns in Brazil into the sacred city of the Euboise, fought Innana and the Piper at the Gates of Dawn, lost my golden fleece and retreated to the city of Angeles to strategize archetype creation.

I hate crowds. Large groups of anonymous. Faces forward to the spotlight. I'm trying to enjoy myself, but failing. I feel like my time would have been better spent working on my forecasts at home. But then I remember I have friends here. It's just the stage takes the spotlight. I never liked art in museums. I preferred them in the grungy artists studios, painting stacked against the wall.

I like individuals. The people. You meet. That's why I'm here. To eat at a different table. To expose myself. To bullshytte like that coquettish asian chick. To remember the world is more than that I create in my mind. That the future is not up to me.

---

I'm turning over rocks. I'm rolling thought experiments on the backburner. I've recently had a break-though.The trend: the world is flat, the earth is the center of the solar system (universe). Those are concepts that were well believed - before science proved them incorrect. I've been looking for these incorrect current beliefs/understandings all my life. I love thinking about what we believe in today - the truth so hidden - but will be so obviously false and untrue in the unveiling. I found one of those the other day. It's revolutionary and radical and yet, I can look back and see the pathway glimmers. The outer edges of the concept. It has to do with view, perception, reality and the world. 

The understanding and concepts of energy will have dramatic breakthroughs and shifts.

---

I'm enjoying the cool air. The tobacco smells strange to me. I miss the smoke of cloves. The evening has passed. I'm speeded down the Hollywood freeway. And as angsty as I've been tonight I realize, I'm really happy with who I am. I am exactly what I want to be. And I wouldn't change places with anyone.

Misunderstood

When I was 14, I would spend copious amounts of time in the library. Mostly the philosophy and religion sections. I clearly remember one of these sections. There was a thick book - I have no idea the author or name of the book - but it clearly dealt with the individual and society. I don't remember really the words, but I remember what I took from reading a few of the passages. (It was a decision to be neither a leader nor a follower.)

Several years later, I went back to find that seminal (to me) book. To remember and read the entire thing, to know the author, to acquire a copy of the book for myself. But when I went back and found that book - and read the same passage - the words were different from what I remembered. I wondered, how could I have so misunderstood the author those years ago. Reading them then, they had the opposite meaning from what I remembered. So much for the rally cry I had heard in my head.

I placed the book back on the shelf and left that library - never to return. (I had moved to another town.) But I wondered, how did that just happen? How can one read a book at one time, and then at a later time - and the book means different things? The words do not change; however I do. And the same words can have different understandings, as you change.