I'm juggling Jury Duty this week along with the job/what to do next search, the 3 year anniversary of the Geek Dinner and my Mom's upcoming visit to OC to scatter my grandfather's (her Dad's) ashes.
Last night I went to a sweat lodge. It was my first time. I had always wanted to experience a sweat lodge and I arrived last night with a bunch of heavy stuff. I went to pray for my grandfather, for my mother and for myself. Although I wasn't close to my grandfather, I just really feel the need to send him off good on his next journey. Although I won't get anything from his estate (nor do I want anything) I have asked him for something much more important to me - his metaphorical slide rule.
Before the lodge began, I spoke to Wolf, the leader, and told him about my mothers cancer. I wasn't going asking for a miracle - just her hope, faith and comfort. After he heard my story - he gave me permission and encouraged me to ask for the miracle. He explained that this world - and each and every one of us - was created by the creator - the great grandfather - with a prayer. This was exactly what we were going to do tonight. Anything was possible with prayer.
In the hot darkness, the rocks glowed. I heard the steam sizzling, I smelled cedar. I heard the prayers. So many with cancer. So much pain. So much gratitude. Was it my sweat or were those my tears? The cool air swirled around my body like an old friend. I felt the spirits circle around me and the pressure of their hands on my back - looking deep deep inside me. I surrendered to the heat. The drums, the songs took my energy, my prayers deep out of this world.
I remain here.
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