heathervescent

The Old Groove

I found it as I passed SFO zipping and weaving Ms Saab through the bay area traffic. It was the groove of my life in the bay area. This time, I felt nothing but the memory of the past. The groundwork I build the next part of my life upon.

It's been a great trip so far and I haven't even been here 5 hours. Good friends, old and new. Good travels. Good food - and my favorite bed in San Francisco. Being inspired and being inspiring. The gratitude and abundance overflowing.

Bay Area, you are the old lines in my palm. I remember those days, the roads. You have many new overpasses - they delight me. I am delighted to return and bask in the beauty of your city. The groove, much unused, remains.

Bollywood Flop Shows tomorrow @ 11am

My friend, Skylaire says I have to go see this, but I'm going to be driving to SF. So please, will someone go see it for me. Extra points if you film me a copy from the theatre viewing (real 3rd world country style).

... playing at the Regencg at Beverly and Fairfax... 11am, tomorrow morning! I didn't make it myself on Sunday... so come on down tomorrow! Nothing interesting happens on Weds. morning! C'mon!

Hey kids! Come tomorrow (Wednesday)! 11am! $5!
 "the largest initial release of any Bollywood film in the United States!"
Went nowhere in ONE WEEK!
Bollywood's loss is your gain, coz ya don't hafta go to Artesia!
It may suck, it may be the most awesome thing you see ALL YEAR!

CHANDNI CHOWK TO CHINA stars the heartthrob of Indian cinema and current reigning king of Bollywood, Akshay Kumar.  The cast also includes stunning model-turned-actress Deepika Padukone, Bollywood veteran Mithun Chakraborty, Ranvir Shorey, and Chinese martial arts expert and actor Gordon Liu ("Kill Bill: Volumes One and Two").  Nikhil Advani ("Kal Ho Na Ho") directed the film from a screenplay by Shridhar Raghavan.  Ramesh Sippy, Mukash Talreja and Rohan Sippy are the producers.  The film also features stunts choreographed by veteran martial arts stunt coordinator Huen Chiu-Ku, whose credits include "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon," "Kill Bill: Vols. 1 and 2" and "The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor."   The film parallels Akshay Kumar's own journey to Bollywood fame - Kumar worked in a restaurant as a cook before pursuing his passion for martial arts, in which he is an expert.

The first-ever Bollywood kung fu comedy, CHANDNI CHOWK TO CHINA follows one man's passage from simple cook to kung fu fighter, on a thrilling, madcap journey from the by-lanes of Chandni Chowk in Delhi, India, to the grandeur of the Great Wall of China and beyond. Akshay Kumar stars as Sidhu, a simple cook from Chandni Chowk who longs to escape his dreary existence.  He sees his chance when two strangers from China claim him to be the reincarnation of a war hero from the past and entreat him to come back with them to their village in China .  Dreaming of the princely existence that awaits him, Sidhu blissfully sets out for China, never suspecting that he is being set up to take on the vicious smuggler Hojo (Gordon Liu) and help his new friends reclaim their village.

CHANDNI CHOWK TO CHINA was shot at locations including The Great Wall of China, as well as Thailand and India . The Indo-Chinese musical fusion was composed by trio Shankar, Ehsaan and Loy.

 With a worldwide audience for Bollywood reaching over 3 billion fans worldwide CHANDNI CHOWK TO CHINA is set to push more than the boundaries of cinema by not only highlighting the influence of Indian culture around the globe but by fusing the two largest Asian communities on one cinematic canvas.

 Rated: PG-13.  Run Time: 140 mins (approx.)
In Hindi/Chinese with English subtitles

Needed: Rain Gear

Friends, followers and random passers-by - I solicit your help. I am going to Peru to visit a friend in a few weeks and she tells me it is the rainy season. Being a desert girl, I do not have any rain or wet gear. In the spirit of community cooperation I am looking to borrow the following items:

• A good umbrella
• A raincoat
• A pair of rain boots size 8.5 or 9

I promise to take good care of your items, have fabulous adventures in them and send you a postcard. Email me to hook me up. The vescent one thank you in advance!

Master Cleanse - Recap

I decided to break the Master Cleanse yesterday, so I ended up doing a full 7 days on the cleanse. I did not cheat or break it once. To think that I did not eat food for more than a week and did not go crazy is absolutely amazing to me.

I'm one of these people who gets irritable if I don't have food on a regular basis - and I must have protein lest I ride the sugar rampage rollercoaster. So I didn't know if I could really do the cleanse. Now I know I can.

How did I do it?
I don't think of myself as having particularly ironclad willpower - but when I set my mind to something - I don't give up. I used my "baby steps technique. Each time I was hungry, I would make the drink. If I was still hungry, I made another drink. I made each drink one at time, and only once (when I had to go into the office) did I make a larger batch.

Each time I wanted to go off, I reminded myself that what I was feeling was a detox symptom and that I could go off any time - but let's just see if I can do this. Even when I was in a cafe or at a party where there was food - I didn't break it or cheat for one moment.

Why not the full 10 days?
I originally planned to do the full 10 days, breaking it on my birthday. When I planned this, I had a fairly open schedule. Two days into the cleanse I decided to do a lot of traveling. I'll be home maybe 3 weeks total from now until April 1st. That starts tomorrow. At first I thought I would just keep doing the cleanse while I traveled, but traveling and meeting with people often includes meals and cafes, in addition to the challenge of making the lemonade on the run.

It is suggested that you have only juice and liquids the first day off the cleanse and slowly add solid food back into your diet on the second and third days. So I was looking at another two days minimum of food restrictions. I didn't want to deal with them and traveling, so I went off yesterday and had my first full juice day. Today I'll have my favorite vice - coffee- and continue with juice and fruit. When I leave town tomorrow I will feel fully confident that I won't have any upsetting stomach issues. Of course I can only eat about a cup of food at a time - but that's a benefit.

What I got from the experience
First and foremost, I regained my confidence that I can do what I set my mind to. Second, I am amazed that my personal body can live for a week without real food. Third, I have reset my portion size, so I will be eating less quantity. Fourth, I very much love food and look forward to eating lightly all the things I love. Fifth, the detox experience. I'll write more about this later. Detox was a very intense experience.

All in all, I had a great experience doing the Master Cleanse and I plan to do a longer, 20 day, cleanse when I'm back from my travels and have a settled pace.

Going a Traveling

I didn't do much traveling last year. I just felt the desire to stay home in the city I love with the cozy house, the pup and the boyf. So I barely left the city limits - even to my most beloved Mojave. This year, apparently is going to be very different.

My work has ramped down, which means I have a lot of time on my hands. Of course, I'm practically broke - thank you economy for destroying my safety net - however, you don't necessarily need money to travel. I traveled all over the world before I was 20 getting airline discounts and using my mom's flight attendant benefits. Now, all I have is some frequent flyer miles - not a lot - but enough to get me to South America. And one of my good friends is down there, so I'm aheaded south next month. But, before I do that, I'm going to Sedona to use up a week's stay before it's lost. And bad, timing, but I'm headed back to the Bay Area for She's Geeky (even though it falls on my bday).

Speaking of my birthday. I have usually thrown some crazy party - like the one at Groundcontrol with the flaming cake or my Naked Sushi Party or performed live on stage at Bootie. But this year, I want to keep it low profile.

Anyway I'm excited to be traveling again. You've either got time or money, but never both at the same time. I'll use the time while I can, cause there will be money soon enough.

Toxic Days

Master Cleanse update. Day 4 and 5 were brutal. It didn't help that I started thinking about what I would do when I broke the cleanse - nor did it help having people around.

I have been cranky, tired, bored and depressed. I skipped the elimination on the morning of day 5. They are not kidding about ridding your body of toxins. I guess the two days of toxins in my colon led to the massive detox symptoms. (All of the above are detox symptoms).

Anyway, after following the procedure this morning - I feel much much better. I still have some residual detox feelings, but I'm going to be able to go as long as I want. And I have decided when I am breaking the cleanse. I originally planned to go 10 days - starting on the 20th and ending on my birthday. But I've added a trip to Mountain View (for She's Geeky) and I don't want to deal with cleansing and travel. So I'm going to break it on day 8 - so that I can be more "normal" when I travel. I have decided I am going to try a mostly raw or vegetarian diet when I am finished. I'll still eat meat and fish, but I am going to reduce those amounts. I really never ate that much of it anyway.

I have also decided that since I am not able to do the full 10 days, I am going to try to do a 20 day master cleanse later this year - after I get back from my various travels (Peru, Austin, Iowa). When broke, travel cheap.

One more thing about the MC. Yesterday, when I crazy wanted to break it off, I just smelled the food - and surprisingly that was enough to satisfy me. I didn't actually want to eat it - I just miss the ritual around food. When I'm done, I think I will have gotten out exactly what I wanted in doing the MC. Three more days. And today, the boyf is treating me to the day spa!

Things I do, instead of eating

It's late and I just had the urge for a crunchy snack. But all I have is this glass of Maple-Cayenne-Lemonade. Here are some things I started doing when I felt like I might want to eat.

1. Drink Lemonade.
2. Take a Nap/go to sleep.
3. Take the dog on a long walk.

So far, those three things have saved me everyday. Usually my hunger is satisfied by the cayenne in the lemonade. The other part of eating that I miss is the planning, cooking and preparing.

So far, I have gone into a grocery store and had a meeting in a cafe. In retrospect, I realize those are pretty stupid things to do while doing this diet/cleanse thing. But I honestly wasn't tempted. Mostly I miss the concept of coffee. And I'm bummed cause I have this awesome tomato that is gonna go bad if someone doesn't eat it soon - and it's not going to be me.

At last count, I was down 4 pounds. I assume it was water/fecal weight. (TMI right.) But that's just after 2 days. Now that I've completed day 3, it's just a game to see how long I can keep this up.

Who's Geeky? She's Geeky!

Attention Geeky LA Girls!
If you are worth your geekiness - you should join me at She's Geeky next weekend in Mountain View. Take a look at the groups that are represented:

• Linux Chix
• Dev Chix
• AnitaBorg INstitute for Women and Technology
• Digital Sisters In,
• Girls in Tech
• Glass Hammer
• Women 2.0
• Girl Geek Dinner
• BlogHer

It's two days of "make your own agenda" goodness. Just check out the pictures from last year. I had a blast last year and connected with some old friends and made a ton of new ones. Take a look at the proposed agenda topics and you will be blown away. How can you pass this up for less than $70 a day?!

• X Steps to creating a Strategy for Dominating Search Engine Results - Laura Lippay
• Entrepreneurship, How do techies find their business savvy partner? - Icis
• Letting Go/Saying No
• More visible role models in the community -- encouraging more girls + women to embrace their inner geek
• Experiences of other women and their secrets to success in a man's world
• Quantum computation
• Debugging code
• How to decide which blogs to follow, mailing lists to read, meet-ups to attend: sorting through the cacophony
• And a lot more!!!

In addition Bay Area Girl Geek Dinners is kicking off She's Geeky with a Thursday night dinner. Angie has promised geek girl swag that will make your friends jealous.

If that's not convincing enough, here are five more reasons:

1. Build relationships and even partnerships across disciplines.
2. Learn something new from other geeky women.
3. Find answers to the questions that matter to you.
4. Consider business issues related to the technology industry.
5. Be exposed to new ideas for making and keeping technology relevant.

So see you there! (ps. let me know if you want to carpool up from LA.)

Food Optional

I'm on day three of the Master Cleanse. It's the "diet" where you drink only this lemonade made of lemons, maple syrup, cayenne pepper and water.  I've got another 8 days to go before I hit the recommended 10 days and right now I have no desire to eat - although I miss the concept of food. It's funny, I don't really have any cravings (except now and then) but I think about how much I would like a cup of coffee (because it's my morning ritual) or that planning for dinner is something I enjoy. The act of cooking and eating what I cooked.

But, I am amazed at my body. Amazed that I can actually go without food.  That I have gone without food for two days already. The secret is the cayenne pepper. That is what makes the lemonade feel like food. Here's to hoping I can keep it up for at least another day and maybe I'll make the full ten.

More thoughts on Resistance

A few posts ago, I wrote that "when the going gets tough, I get discouraged." I've been thinking about that since I wrote it, since it's not exactly true. There are things you can do and change, and there are things that are too big, or old or not worthwhile to put forth effort to change.

When I am working on something, nothing gets in my way. Against all odds and adversaries, I accomplish my goals, make my dreams come true - but - and this is a big but - only if it's what I really want. Somethings are just beyond my control.

Even as I write this, I could use this as an excuse. But you have to know how far you are willing to go, the price you are willing to pay and what you are willing to endure. And if that takes your farther away from your dream, well then, maybe it's a good thing resistance stepped in the way and made you think twice.

Everyone has the days where you think you can take over the world. Nothing is between you and your vision. And then there are days when it seems that every obstacle is right in front of you. Those days need to be lived. They are part of the roller-coaster ride. But for every down, there is an up. And those days of invincibility are always around the corner.

Cliff bars (not) for the dogs

I usually keep a cliff bar in my bag in case I'm stuck in traffic, the office, on the way to the gym and realize I'm hungry. More than once I realize once I'm off to the gym and haven't eaten my body says, "I want food." So the cliff bars stashed in my bag do the job.

Enter the dog. Mr Romeo, the Puppernutter was initially a fan of the cliff bars. He likes peanut butter. He likes chocolate. At home alone, he invented the game of finding the cliff bar in whichever bag was left at home. He would then proceed to rip the packaging to shreds and eat it. I'd come home to a mess and a sorry dog.

Later, Mr Romeo, unable to find the cliffbars in my bags (I stopped leaving them around) would dig out bits of old candy - chocolates - and destroy those. I'd come home and have the heart attack while he would be smiling and wagging his tail sheepishly. So all the chocolates went up on the counters. But Mr Romeo is relentless. He would sniff out the chocolate locations and jump up to four feet high to get his favorite secret (and bad for him) treat. After eating an entire chocolate orange he took from a 4 feet dresser, I had to do something. The chocolate went into hiding, so even if he could jump up 5 feet, he still did not have opposable thumbs.

He likes to remind me though. I'll find cliff bars that he's dug up from one bag or mine or another and puts them in his "kill" pile. But they are no longer opened. I guess all those chocolate bon bons spoiled him.

ps. yes, I know chocolate is bad for the dog. I have never personally given him chocolate - all the chocolate this dog has consumed has been through his own ingeniousness and skill.

DECIDERATA

DECIDERATA~ Max Ehrmann - 1952

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive God to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Island Weather

Today is a gorgeous day. As I was walking the dog I heard the parrots swaking in the nearby trees. There was a light warm breeze and the sun was shining. The air was moist and reminded me of the Islands.

Zombies

The Zombies without Borders performance yesterday was a hit. I had four new performers and they were awesome. The rest of the crew continued to bond and I continue to be inspired on where to take this crazy show. And show it will be. I'm working with one of the cheerleaders to write a stage show - and it is going to be unlike anything we've seen before and borrow from our favorite genres: Circus, Vaudeville, Burlesque and Sideshow.

If you want more info on the Zombies, pictures, upcoming performances, etc - go check out the new site at Zombies without Borders.

Back on the Horse, back in the arena

I'm great when it's time to start something, and good at moving things forward, but when the going gets tough, I get discouraged. I probably shouldn't admit that, but it's true. At a certain point - the resistance bogs me down. Depending on how much energy, how important the task is to me and my recent track record - I can either bust on through the negativity - or it takes me down. Recently, I've felt beat down.

But that's all changing - because the first step to changing something is being aware of the situation. And I've been using some techniques to get over that adversary that used to freeze me.

1. Just show up. I have such big expectations about everyone, everything and especially myself. Then I found myself in a spotlight and I didn't know how to act. Was I supposed to keep the spotlight for as long as possible? Was I trying to get the spotlight on me after it moved onto someone else? Was I not good enough because I was no longer in the spotlight. I worried about this or that event and making sure it was perfect (and beating myself up about it because it was far from it).

So I cut myself some slack and decided the only thing I had to do was show up.

2. Do it lightly. The other day I was peeling potatoes for a shepherds pie. The potatoes were on the small size, which meant I had a lot of peeling to do. They were bumpy and as I scraped away, it seemed like a task that would go on forever without good results. Then I started holding the peeler lighter and pressing it against the skins with less pressure. I relaxed my shoulders and all of a sudden there was no stress. I took smaller strokes and the skin came away cleanly. I think those were the best potatoes I've ever peeled. And it was a pleasure to do so.

Last year I put too much pressure on myself. I tried to do big things - but not many of them worked out the way I wanted them. I worked hard on them - hard on myself - and ugh - I just felt stuck. I won't say it was one of my worst years, but it certainly did not live up to my current track record.

But, like I said, that's all changed. I'm back on my path with heart. I'm listening to my dreams. I'm shutting out the voices that say no - and I know I can make my dreams reality.

A Writer's Work

I've been banging my head against the wall all day today. Sometimes the words flow - other times, it's like seriously pulling teeth. The upside, is that I've gotten back into the swing of interviewing. Done 6 interview over the past few days (not including the weekend). And I have a good solid start on my next SG column.

The death of me today, was that I was doing a final bit of research - just to check to see if I left anything major out - and wham - I got hit with the "my article sucks" bug. I tried ignoring it, just letting that emotion stay at arms reach. I got out the egg timer and thought I had a decent start on my final draft. Then the resistance came back even stronger. I thought I would distract it by talking to a friend. I thought maybe I was extra stressed out because of the performance on Saturday that I have three new folks and had our first practice tonight. (Which by the way went swimmingly! It's going to be the best performance yet. Plus a music video and stage show is in development.)

But I think it's just one of those days. Those days when the writing just isn't flowing, but you gotta write anyway. When your standards are high, but you just can't seem to reach them. I know it doesn't suck half as much as I think it does, but I've built it up in my mind and that sure helps resistance.

But I know that tomorrow I'll just have to get back on the horse again. That regardless of where I end tonight, I'll be that much closer.

Poem Incantation

Reading and writing and planning and scheming.
Talking and meeting and driving and singing.
Walking and watching and thinking and learning.
Posting and questioning - answers returning.

Powerful direction.
Unknown adventure.
Allies surrounding.
Present, Past, Future.

First steps and next steps I take on my journey,
My dream destination not always in sight.
Twists and turns like a Hollywood thriller,
It's just as I'd want it - of course, it's my life.

Scott Joplin

When I was little I loved Ragtime music. Now, I hadn't heard anything besides Scott Joplin and it helped I was born in 1974 -- the year the Sting came out and the last time Ragtime had any recent heyday.

Yesterday, something in Nina Rota's La Dolce Vita jogged my memory. Thanks to the power of the internet in less than a minute I was downloading and listening to my favorite ragtime music. And what sweet music to my ears it is. Of course I love the Maple Leaf Rag, but my favorite is a song 100 years old this year, called Solace, a Mexican Serende.

The first steps inside the big hole...

The first steps inside the big hole...,
originally uploaded by Batram.

Photos of some really fabulous UE.

2009 Omen

I used to have this NYE ritual. At the turn of the year, I would take symbols, representations of all the projects and plans and thoughts for the coming year; lay them out and meditate on them. For several years I did this on a huge old elephant platform that had been turned into a table. Then came several years of NYE parties. As my friends would chant down, I would slip outside and look at the stillness of the night and think about my plans.

None of these things happened at this turn this year. When 2008 turned into 2009, I was sneaking my dog into a dog free hotel in Arizona.

If the rest of 2009 is going to be like that, I'll take it. It's got to be better than unimpressive 2008.