Earlier today I was irritated. My web walkabout caused me to go down the path of thinking "now why didn't I do that?" when I could have easily done these same things a year or more ago. The answer to that question is "I didn't want to do those things." I must remember that just because I see the need for something doesn't mean that I have to do it. It's ok to pass up the idea for another one I am passionate about. But I fall back into stupid human mode and start questioning myself and that's a slippery slope leading to my favorite existential questions. I walked outside and the sky brightened my day for a moment and then it was the LA traffic. Late to a meeting. Circling the block in the heat, sun in my eyes. No parking. Film crews taking up the spaces. The place was packed. There were people waiting for a table - all the things I hate. My mood went back into a nosespin. I went inside looking for my partner, no sign. A friendly guy asked me how I was doing, and I could not pretend to be the cheerful effervescent heather. I believe in answering the question "how are you?" truthfully of the moment. And at that moment, I was fucking irritated at being alive. So I said as much, as detached and not directed my irritation at the nice man asking me. He asked why? and I said something like, it's one of those days... he took it in stride and I went outside to wait for a table.
I put my name in for a table. And tried to let it all go as I leaned on a signpost looking at the sky. Not thinking of anything. Nothing mattered. Looking at the black painted building with swirling yellow logo. Looking at the Hollywood Hills. Thinking of the weekend and my irritations coming back. My phone ringed and it was a client. I was happy for the distraction. I'm really happy with my current clients. The minor drama scared away my own irritation for a moment. Then my lunch partner pulled up. Then our table was ready, and then it was into the zone of the meeting - irritation retreating again.
After lunch the nice man who asked me how I was came out with a red velvet cupcake - one of my favorites - and hoped that my day turned around. By that point, it had, and him giving me the cupcake was the icing on the cake.
It's so easy to give kindness to strangers. And sometimes, it makes all their difference.
Comments