heathervescent

CommunityBuildrs Recap

I missed this meeting (there are tech meetings happening ALL the time now!!!) but Kirk wrote up a great recap and they're meeting again soon.

First and foremost I want to thank everyone who attended for participating in the conversation and sharing your thoughts and perspectives on community building.  As this topic continues to grow in importance and transitions from "what the kids are up to" to "vital business channel" and "vital grass-roots channel" it is nice to know we can share the journey.

Go to the full details and get involved yourself!

Build a Startup in 3 days

Announcing another LA Tech event! Build a Startup in 3 days over labor day weekend.
(I would so be there but I will be burning unicorns at Burning Man... bummer)

Concept:

The concept is to create an internet startup in a long weekend. Gather a group of enthusiastic people who are all founders of the startup that will work to launch the startup prototype over the Labor day long weekend. You may ask why this is being done. It is to get a bunch of super enthusiastic people together and try to transform an idea into a product and eventually a business.

Who can participate?

Enthusiastic, no-nonsense people that think they have what it takes to last a long 72 hour drill. Hey - there will be no time for office politics for sure.

Anyone that meets the need described in the "Register Now" section above and lives and works around Los Angeles, California. Sorry, you need to be local to carry this forward.

More information and to register (it's free) go here.

Announcing August G33k Dinner

The next LA Geek Dinner is on August 14th at C & O Cucina in Marina del Rey.

Cost is $20 per person for food (not including drinks). Please bring cash. More details and rspvlist are on the geek dinner wiki. Please RSVP on upcoming for the final headcount - we are limited to 45 attendees.

• Date: August 14th, 8pm dinner, C & O Cucina
• C & O Cucina, 3016 Washington Boulevard, Marina del Rey, CA. One block West of Lincoln Boulevard at 3016 Washington Boulevard at Washington and Thatcher in Marina Del Rey.
• Reservation under "Heather"

Sponsorship for desert or drinks is still available for a very cheap $150!

* Photo by Adam of Travis getting applause for sponsoring the beer (we love our sponsors!)

Invocation

My first duty is to sacrifice to the gods and pray them to grant me the thoughts, words, and deeds likely to render my command most pleasing to the gods and to bring myself, my friends, and my city the fullest measure of affection and glory and advantage.

 - Heathervescent, adapted from Xenophon, The Cavalry Commander

Feeling Stymied

Everywhere I go, I watch, I see people doing things. How do people decide what they want to do? What they are interested in? In what to participate? Who to be? Which subculture to participate in? Who to be? What to be? Everywhere I go, I see myriad of worlds - options, choices. Which one to be. Where to go. Every choice makes a step in a direct that has long standing affects. Marriage. Children. Career. Art. Travel. Awareness. A step lower: Going out to dinner. A boy/girlfriend. Networking events. Creating a web site. Buying paint. Buying plane tickets.

Paralyzing Clarity. Like the waters of the Vanne Aqueduct. The water is crystalline. There are so many possibilities, choices. Possibilities realized, possibilities unrealized and in any permeation.

But it's not really paralyzing. It's so beautiful, I've gotten caught up in the view. I've forgotten I'm the watcher. I've forgotten I'm a visitor. I've gotten distracted.

Fractyl cloud

Fractyl cloud
Originally uploaded by heathervescent.

We were headed out to the desert on the 10. I watched this gorgeous cloud cover spiraling above us. I snapped this photo (on my cameraphone) of the fractyl view. It doesn't necessarily come out so well, but the little fluffy clouds were fractyliferic!

I don't have to like you

I've recently had a flash of enlightenment. I'm sure some of you will think - awww - I thought that way when I was 5. Well then, good for you. But recently I've realized I don't have to like everyone. I used to think there had to be a good reason to dislike people - but there doesn't. Some people are assholes. Some people don't like me. And that's totally fine.

I don't like everyone. I do like a lot of people. And I have a very long shelf filled with many observations (on hold) about many people. I don't like to judge people. (Partially because I don't like to be judged myself.) But why would I hang out with people I don't like, when I can hang out with people that I do really like? It's like the whole strength's weaknesses thing. I used to focus on being good at many things - now I just want to kick ass at what I kick ass.

I feel so liberated realizing this. Just because I don't like you, doesn't mean I hate you (that expends too much energy). But I have a lot more fun (and I'm sure you do too) when I'm around people headed the same direction I am.

So there, I give myself permission to dislike people, for any reason or none at all. And I'll completely understand if you don't like me - I'm not me for mass adoration.

a girl's first gun - ramblin thoughts

I never gave much thought to guns. I loved target practice when I was younger. I was generally a good shot, even without much practice at 7 and 9 and 12 at summer camp. I loved going to the outdoor range. The covered shooting area. The backstop with targets. I shot archery too. But I like the shotgun boom.

I always thought it's a good skill to know how to shoot a gun. I was never into shooting animals or hunting. (I do think that is an excellent skill. Stalking and hunting prey. Actively focusing on being a predator.) I was saying to the boyfriend that people should hunt more but not kill the animal at the end. He then told me about camera safaris. After I thought about it for a while, I decided it was a silly idea (silly in not matching my reason for hunting to begin with).

My main point in hunting is to gain knowledge - about myself, about hunting, about stalking, about what I am hunting and about what it is to be an active predator. Most people don't realize that they are predators. Hunting might make them more aware. It would sure make me more aware. So that's why I thought going through the motions of hunting w/ out the final kill would be beneficial, and not kill the animal, when it might be unnecessary. But then I realized there's a huge flaw in that idea. To get the most important lesson, the animal must die. The hunter must kill it. There is no other way. (We'll see how thrashed I get in the comments of this post...)

I'm not about to go out hunting animals. (I hunt many other things.) (Side note: something strange has been happening to my food intake. If I have a choice, I generally take the vegetarian route. )

So, yesterday I took Violet out. She's a hefty girl, but packs no kick and a breeze to shoot. It was her virgin trip and she worked beautifully. Got compliments all around.

Later we were sitting on the tail bed watching the lighting in the distance. The warm wind blew all around. I love dusk in the desert. The sound of the wind. Eyes adjusting to low light. Sometimes I'm ready to throw all my work in the city away and become a hermit - live in a crazy shack in the desert completely off the grid. But then I'd miss the city noise, the possibilities to do and make change. And what about high technology and my dreams and aspirations related to that topic? So I'll wait a bit longer and satisfy that craving with these trips.

Thewebisus

This video reminds me of a conversation I had using a mirror as a whiteboard in a loft in Portero Hill in 1999. It also reminds me of Hyperion. I also like the music.

Nice, Importance

Yesterday in conversation the boyfriend mentioned this quote

It's nice to be important, but it's important to be nice.

That got me thinking. I don't necessarily disagree with the sentiment, but I disagree with the things you might assume because of the sentiment. It's not mutually exclusive to be nice and important. Just because you are important, doesn't mean you can't also be nice. Being nice is not necessarily better or worse than being important. Being nice makes it easier to get along with people and have a better time. It's social lubrication. I also think it helps having a positive outlook - as long as you don't put yourself into the victim role.

Importance is a value judgment. So is being smart. (And so is being nice.) Different people value these characteristics differently. Some see intelligence/smarts as the top of the totem pole. Some people will do anything to be important. But can one say that being important is better/worse than being smart? (or being right?) Well... you could say that - but that's based on your personal judgment and don't be mad when someone has a different point of view.

These are variables. And from one point of view, one variable might seem better then another, but in the grand scheme, there is really no difference - except on the micro level.

Which reminds me of something I've been pondering recently - relativity. I've been thinking about Buckminister Fuller's quote: We are all astronauts aboard a little spaceship called Earth.

Everyday I wake up in the same bed. I live in the same house, I walk my dog on the same streets, I am the same person. It's the same bed, but it's not in the same position. Nothing is fixed - even on terra firma. Everything is changing, moving, I'm moving right now, sitting a my desk in weho wishing for a cup of coffee.

This has little impact on my life. A few days ago I was completely unaware of being on a moving planet through "outer space". But being aware of this constant movement can change the way I think about things and how I interact with people.

Irritations

Yoga class today was irritating. I look forward to these times blocked on my schedule. I love my teacher. She has an innovative and unique style. She pushes us and yells and has an awesome accent (she's brazilian). And my body has really done amazing things through her leadership. But one student in the class is a self-important whiny princess bitch. Even her name, Bridgette, makes me recoil.

She's often late to class. Always asking people to do things for her like turn on the lights or turn off the lights or complaining about the temperature. ALWAYS asking the teacher to check her alignment. Complaining that this or that pose hurts her. Then she fidgets around in her bag in the middle of class, talks to other students, interrupts the teacher, puts her mat at the front of class where the teacher's mat is. She takes other student's things (we use rope on a bar and today she totally took another person's place midway through class!) And she's like 40. Way too old to be acting like this. And those are just the irritations I can remember.

During class I try to take a zen or enlightened approach. I ignore the distraction. I think about how horrible her life must be for her to act like this. Well, I don't have to think too hard, she shows her life so clearly I can't help but see her ugly self. I use it as a reminder to work on myself. To not get caught up in her tendril bait. I can use her as a fabulous petty tyrant and work to be less self-important myself, but then I go back to why I go to yoga in the first place - the pleasure along with the physical activity.

Why hasn't the teacher said something to the distracting student? Does she not have guts? Is she not irritated as well. It's not just me who is distracted by ugly 40 year old x-14 year old model student. Other regulars in class have the same feeling.

I vacillate between saying something to irritating student myself and not. Should I say something? If so what would I say? What about stopping going to this class all together? The whole reason I was going for the exercise enjoyment. I can easily go to other yoga classes and get the same feeling. Should I stop going? I'm not sure what I want to do. (Please comment your enlightened, detached view.)

Update: WWDJD? Impeccably. What takes the least use of energy? To go to a different yoga class.

---
On another note, I just realized why something/one/situation that had been irritating me for several months - and it's still unresolved is so confusing/perplexing. Because the situation should have never happened in the first place! I didn't make the situation occur. Other people misbehaved, misunderstood and crap happened. Crap that is not my crap to deal with. It's their issue and it's up to them to resolve it.

I've got bigger fish to fry. And it's their loss they're not gonna be at my fish fry. Cause I'm a damn good metaphor cook and my parties always kick ass. ;)

2007 Goals - revisited

I had a YIKES moment this month. I thought, OMG, it's July, did I already achieve my goals for this year? And then I thought, what were my goals for this year anyway.

What's a goal-orientated girl to do if she can't even remember what she set out to do?

Well, a leisurely stroll through my blog reminded me that 2007 is the year of PIMPING AND PROMOTING. It's the JESUS YEAR (cause I'm 33).  It's about calling up all the best of heather past and reactivating her (like aikido heather - thanks Andrew for starting the dojo down here!). It's about the LA TECH COMMUNITY. It's about it all coming together. It's fractal ordering of chaos, respecting the beauty of chaos.

So yeah, I'm right on track. And now, I'm kicking it up a notch (well, everything's been kicked up a notch.)

Here are the fractal chaos I'm meditating on for the rest of 2007.

• Hedgehogs, Unicorns and the Sleeping Giant
• "Don't hold back" (link to mp3, my new theme song)
• The Sleeper Must Awaken
• Surprise and the Jewels in Time
• 40 days in the desert (maybe it's not 40 successive days)

World, the time has come to push the button! (sorry Steve Jobs- Read about Steve's anti-button crusade)

She's Geeky - No boys allowed

Announcing, Announcing, Announcing - She's Geeky - and girl geek unconference in Mountain View in October.

Shesgeeky invites a diverse range of women working in information technology (broadly defined,) those aspiring to work in the industry AND those who have retired from the industry.

This is an ‘agenda free’ conference about women in technology. This is a women’s only event. Why? Because there is a certain quality of conversational space that is created in a women only environment.

DATE: Monday and Tuesday October 22-23, 2007
LOCATION: Computer History Museum in Mountain View.

Who Should Attend?

Sheesgeeky is for women of all ages who self identify as geeks. You don’t have to code. You can like and use the tools…or maybe you just care about the issues facing women as they work in or around technology development….

Women who are passionate about building technology that’s useful for people and believe that passionate, geeky women’s presence in our industry leads to more opportunity, a more supportive and civilized environment and better technology goals for all.

Sheesgeeky will include women working in:

• Open Source
• Web 2.0
• Biotech
• Hardware companies
• Enterprise IT
• The Nonprofit Technology Sector
• Portals
• Search Engines
• Social Networking Sites
• Research for and about technology/people
• Startups generally
• Product building/management in large organizations
• Your definition of geekiness (if you don't see it here add it)

Sheesgeeky will explore a range of topics designed for our mutual learning.

Sorry, no boys. Register here! $25 bucks. I know a cheap hotel in MV too.  I think us LA Geek Girls should rent a limo and show up in style. hehe.

Oh and this will probably be an ass-kicking time - especially since Kaliya is a fan of openspace - and I think open space kicks ass.

Oh, in other girl geekiness - Blogher is going on right now. Unfortunately, I am not there, except in spirit. Although I might try to attend in Second Life!

g33k d1nn3r recap

I had dinner @ Galanga last night and was a little worried if they would let me back in. You see, Galanga is where we had the geek dinner last week! I knew the patio was going to be a little tight if all 30 people showed up. Well, that ended up being a moot point because we had over 40 people show up!

It was an awesome time. Over 40 geeks - lots of new faces and old ones. Travis from Verse brought plentiful beer and we took turns at table space. I actually enjoyed standing up and had great conversations with so many people: Michelle, Kirk, Devin, Jeff and Adam, DJ Drue, Nathan and more. And by the end of the night I convinced Sponge to create an algorithmic version of me. (That's what happens if you forget to pay your bill.)

So, when's the next one? And where? Well, it's west side August. Twiistup is happening on August 8th and Aug geek dinner is on the 14th.  I don't have a location yet, but it's going to be in Santa Monica area. And it needs to seat like 40 people. And project ppt karaoke too. And I'm looking for a kick ass sponsor! Ping me if you're game!

ps. Galanga did indeed let me back in, and they were thrilled that I had so many people show up. Whew.

pps. here are some photos.

Copying Queen

I'm totally doing this!

Brian May, the lead guitarist from rock band Queen, is close to earning his doctorate in astrophysics -- more than 35 years after quitting his studies to become a rock star.

I was originally going to go straight through college, eye on the Ph.d, but I decided in Brazil to experience the business world and get my ph.d later. I still dream of that ph.d (I really like the ring of Dr. Schlegel, don't you?). 10 years ago I had no idea what I would study. That's an easily answered question today, I know I'm going to study Cognitive Science. Because the world, is so much more than we see.

Saying goodbye feels good

You know how the heart's desire series says you gotta make room? Sometimes it's hard to say goodbye. But you gotta make room for all the new exciting stuff. So today, I say good bye to the blogger heather. It's my last month at Daily Mantra and Blogging.la. Admittedly I've not been posting much on b.la, but it's finally time to say goodbye. Daily Mantra is getting a new editor, Nicole and she's going to be great.

I'm excited to be pulling all my blogging back to heathervescent. And I've got a couple new websites I'll be telling you about soon (I hope), and then there's the whole LA Tech thing. It's not like I'm hanging out by the pool filing my nails. ;)

San Francisco, Carving a Groove

I'm north again. I came to have some meetings and attend wordcamp. I'm honestly not sure why I'm attending wordcamp. I think it was just an excuse to get me up here again, although it's been great seeing peeps and getting the wordcampy lowdown. The weather is gorgeous. It is windy and cool. I'm not used to this cool undertone. I've missed the wind.

The city seems so empty. Where are all the people. It seems so relaxed and laid back. Almost like a small town. Why do I see it like this? Was it like this before? Am I remembering differently? Or has it changed? Or have I changed? Am I uptight again? One-track focused speeding at the speed of light? (Oh yes, most definitely I am moving at the speed of light.)

I just returned from a midnight ride to the east bay (and back). The freeways are the way I remembered. Those grooves I carved so long ago, still there. I was able to slip back into them. And at the same time, the grooves were not the same.

I spent many hours on the bay bridge. Mostly when the toll was a mere buck (it's $4 now! yikes!). I realized as I was speeding back to SF tonight, that I'm carving a new groove. That that's the reason I'm back in SF. To carve this new groove. It's going to take some time - I will be back. But there's always a bushwhacker that paves the way for the trail, that eventually becomes a dirt road, a paved freeway, an information superhighway to infinity (and beyond).

San Francisco, I am soaking up your sweet wind, your little puffy clouds of fog, your live oak and hills of green. I am a sponge. The desert, we need these reminders, we need your shower of information rain.

Pink Goth Powerpoints and Brenda Laurel

I'm working on a pink goth powerpoint business plan. Who would have thought this was possible and that I would do it, but yeah, it kicks ass and sometimes I love my job. Part of this love is running across Brenda Laurel again. Man, she just totally rocks. I'm adding her to my list of inspiring kick ass women I want to be like.

ps. geek dinner recap is coming. It was a blast!

Weekend Recap

I felt like I didn't get a lot done this weekend. I hate feeling that way. But when I enumerate what actually happened, I apparently was very busy. Is it effortless living, an integrated life or lack of satisfaction? Or all three? I enjoy finishing things, but my real satisfaction is in planning them and then the moments of creation. Finishing leaves a hole, a gap, a vacuum.

• Awesome pow-wow helping crystallize where I want to go, and questions to ask myself to get there.
• I finished the unicorns.
• I thought a lot about Carmen and the pod.
• Puppets! and Uni!
• Unplanned midnight neighbor hang time. (Dog walking at midnight can improve neighborliness)
• Business meeting at Zuma Beach in Malibu, which included boogie boarding! (I have really missed swimming in the ocean.)
• Topped off with a visit to a magical Topanga hilltop compound. I'm still reeling from the reality of it. It was the location of dreams, but for real. I dared not take a photograph, but the memories are etched in my mind.

Today was a strange day. Too many things going on, started out with this 2 hour philosophical discussion about science and magic - both horrible words to describe what we were describing. Sometimes I just want to live with my worldview in peace - or blow my head off. But today, there is still work to be done and I continue to feel like I've accomplished nothing.

ps. save this post for the next LA Angst.

adobe is a strange loop

I bet he didn't know I was watching and I'm fast with my screenshot fingers... ha ha.

Reminder: g33k d1nner 2morrow

Just a quick reminder that the geek dinner is tomorrow night in West Hollywood. RSVP.

Phoenix is born

Baby Announcement, baby announcement!

Phoenix Orison De Jesus Kenefick 8 lbs 11 oz. Born 843pm 7 15 07 after 15.5 hours of labor.

More updates here. Congrats Carmen and Matt! You've been in my thoughts constantly this past weekend. Here's to rest and an epic beginning! xoxoxoxox.

Technology and Taxidermy

Insanity? or creativity? It's the text-o-possom!

It's official - Kasey kicks ass. But we all knew that already!

Unicorn Update

Unicorn Reality!

New Role Model + the challenges of big busted sword weilding

So the boyfriend told me about Ivy last night. Ivy from SoulCalibur. Described as my body type with purple hair - I was like WTF? For reals? Yeah, I can hack the Aeon look, but I'm not lanky enough. I'm handy enough with guns, but I really prefer to use my hands, a staff or a sword. (I've just gotten back into practicing Aikido + sword work). And wow, is her sword interesting. Yeah, yeah, I know it's a video game, and she's a character, but so is Madonna. As far as alchemy, which is basically a metaphor for personal transformation - come into my secret lab.

But yeah, the purple is very very cool. I love her huge claw hand/arm protector. You know what is funny. My brother and I were doing a thought-experiment a few years ago about cutting our arms off and I was not actually that concerned about losing my limb, as long as I could have a super awesome cyborg one to replace it with. We're almost there, technology (science, it works bitches). But no need to act before time.

Back to Ivy. There's another problem with wielding a sword and being busty. Form. Yes, my chest gets in the way of my arms holding standard form. I can't imagine the technique modifications if someone was seriously as busy as the new Ivy. It would be a challenge to hold the forms - especially if wearing a hard breastplate. I'm constantly squishing myself when I bring my sword strike down. Of course, I'm wearing a distraction and as much as any male warrior can practice, it's gonna be hard to not look a certain somewhere (unless he's not into women at all). So in a way, I can see a benefit for being a woman swordsman. And actually, as a woman swordsman, knowing the bustyness is so distracting, I can see the benefit of busting out more bustiness. A bigger breastplace. Women know the value of padded bras - it's not just to make us look bigger - it's protective of our magical mams. (Did I really just write that? Oh, it's so cheezy I know, but true!!!)

Anyway, so yeah, Ivy, you're on my radar babe! I'm gonna check out your sword technique now - especially with that crazy magical sword you've got. In the meantime, I'm gonna find me some purple thigh-highs up on Hollywood Blvd. I might even modify the claw arm to include this hip-top flame throwing I've been dreaming of...

Me Generation

I've been having conversations about the Me Generation. Over the past year, it's become pretty obvious to me that there's this entire generation that has a totally different outlook about technology. I, of course, want to understand this, the motivations, the attitude. Because every generation is a reiteration from the previous one. It's growth. But in what direction, and is it the growth that that trunk wants to go in, or the branches? I have no answer, but lots of questions.

Anyway, while checking out my stats, I found a link to Amy LeBlanc's blog, where she posted this great poster.

I've been seeing Marilyn pop up on Melrose for a while,but she's wearing sunglasses (typical Hollywood). But I like the sentiment in the poster. It's depressing - angsty you might say - and a reality check, against a reality that is increasingly changing. I don't necessarily disagree with the poster, but I don't actually agree with it either. It's perspective.

Why would you want to be a rock star? Is that really what you want to be? Or do you have some other passion that is aching to be expressed. That needs no adulation or showing of applause?

Building to Burn

I've built lots of fire. I love building fires. Whether they are tiny cholla cooking fires in the Mojave or a van full of pallets, I like coaxing the potential from the wood with a flame.

It has been a long time since I have made "art". This year, she's venturing out, I bound and put her on a pedestal long ago, she is dusty and covered with a tarp. But no more. That's what these unicorns are about. And since I am going to Burning Man, I might as well make them to burn.

It's an interesting experience. Spending time crafting, manifesting my vision, only to destroy it. It's been a while since I have built something physical. And as I build it, I envision it's destruction. Does this make me do cheap construction? Because I know it will be destroyed, do I make it easy to destroy? No, actually it is quite the opposite. I'm building these unicorns to survive (well, other than in a fire). So knowing they will be destroyed makes no difference in the quality of my construction.

Ok, so what about ego? Isn't art about ego? Aren't artists egotistical about their art? Well, in my case, I am trying to create a vision I have. I suppose it's my vision, since it's from my head, but I could also just as easily say I'm the vessel for the vision. I'm the one listening. I heard the vision and bought some tools.

Another interesting observation, since I'm building my unicorns to burn, is that I am detached from them. I have invested the time to build them the right way, but I have not invested so much of myself. In fact, I have invested very little of myself. I am the tool being used by the universe to build these unicorns to burn. Just as I am a tool being used to create and do the many things I do. I'm looking forward to the excellent fire, that will destroy my beautiful creations. In fact, I will probably build it up, to be a fire worthy of their destruction.

Pimping: Adobe Air Bus in LA

Adobe is bringing their AIR bus to LA. They are currently in the hot hot desert on their way to Vegas. I'd tell them to stop @ the Mad Greek, if I could figure out how to text them... Anyway, they will be in LA in a few days. Check it out.

The event is a free one day mini conference where you can learn how to leverage the Adobe Integrated Runtime (AIR) to bring your web applications to the desktop.

On Upcoming. For more info.

Photo by Mike Chambers stolen from airbus Flickr site.

Pimping: Friends @ Felt Club

This weekend is Felt clubalicious. And showing her stuff is my pal Miriam!

Come check out New Limited Edition Hand Pulled Silk Screen Prints, a brand new line of Hand Silk Screened Tote bags and my awesome Tiny Buttons!!!

Owls, Sculls, Hearts, Birds, Skeleton's...all sorts of interesting vintage imagery!

More details (and pictures of cool stuff) here.

Angst List

2_angst2
Originally uploaded by leahpeah.

The line up! (And I might add, Tangier happy hour was mighty tasty!)

Angsty H!

2_heather
Originally uploaded by leahpeah.

Leah snapped a picture of me reading last night. What fun!

Unicorns and Religion

How did I miss the Invisible Pink Unicorns? (All this time I have been talking about invisible pink elephants...) Unicorns on wikipedia. And more invisible pink unicorns?

The Invisible Pink Unicorn logo represents atheism.
It is a fusion between the mathematical void symbol and the stylized representation of an unicorn.
The void symbol (empty set Ø) is an allusion to nothingness and in this case meaning "no faith" or "no god". The unicorn is a reference to a kind of story that atheists often tell to make their point.

Very delightful - but I am far far far from being an atheist. In fact, I had a delightful conversation with two Christian missionarys when I was in Sedona. The part that freaked me out the most (but really didn't freak me out that much) was that I could completely understand and agree with most of what they were saying. In fact, I live my life pretty much exactly the way they live their life. The big exception, I don't think Jesus is the only bridge. The other exception, I have no interest in going to heaven (or hell for that matter) I have my eye set on something .... else. The other exception, I don't quote from the bible (although I was quite interested in what they were quoted and totally understood the point of the quotes).

I do believe that I speak a different "religion", "spiritual" language. The problem is, I can speak many languages... but people don't all speak my language. That's ok, because I have a direct link/line to "G-d" which I call something different.

My favorite part of the conversation was when we were talking about good and evil and they were telling me how deceptive Satan was and I said, exactly, the whole concept of good and evil is a deception (because well it is). It is a method to distract us and get us to play on sides against each other - when really we're all one big thing. The deception is that there is no good and evil (and yet, there is most definitely good and evil).

Anyway, talking with them crystallized my possible explanation of this paradox (at least in my mind). Back to the circle with a dot in the center. Or, when you peel all the layers of the onion- where is the onion? (ps, it's the layers)

Angsty = Awesome

So last night I made Kaliya (who was in town visiting) meet me at LA Angst. I dug out two of my old journals 10 minutes before I left. One was the infamous Brazil journal - which is green and falling apart. The other was a journal I occasionally write and give updates to (it was started in 1991 and there are years between entries) - hey, who says I have to have only 1 journal? I mean, I've got this blog, my paper journal, my nav log, my GTD notebook and a variety of other notebooks. Anyway, I even found some poetry stuffed into the brazil journal (amazing because I burned all my love letters and most of my writing 2 years ago)

Here's the line up from last night. It was a total blast! Thank you to Leah (top o the list) for organizing it.

LeahPeah

Mocha Momma

Katronika

Redleather

West Coast Grrlie Blather

Heathervescent

Yay for us!

Updated: g33k d1nner July 17 - Galanga in WeHo!

Mah geek homies! It's that time of the month. The reminder for the monthly geek dinner. I know, you have many choices when it comes to geeking out - with Mixergy's web feedback hour, the ruby on rails meetup, the demo hour, the drupal meetup, the podcasters at the brewery, bloggers read, etc, etc. That's all good, but let's just get our geek on and eat what I think is the best Thai in LA - Galanga.

When:

• July 17th, 8pm

Where:

• Galanga in West Hollywood. 7440 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA 90046
• Free easy parking
• We'll be in the back patio

If you're new to the concept:

The Geek Dinners are a monthly gathers of Internet technology lovers in Los Angeles. We are loosely affiliated with BarCamp - because many of us met there. Anyone who has an interest and passion for technology, the internet, internet technologies, software or you just know you're a geek is welcome. Come play with us.

Last month, uWink was nice enough to host us (and Twiistup bought us dessert) and everyone had a great time. I think we had some of the best pptKaraoke. So come on out to West Hollywood and let's do it again. Word has it, we may just have a drink sponsor Verse Studios is buying drinks, so be sure to RSVP! This especially wonderful because Galanga does not usually serve alcohol.

RSVP to the wiki and/or upcoming. We'll have the usual crew, name tags, announcements, etc. It should be fun. Did I mention free easy parking and the best thai in LA? We've got the entire back patio to ourselves.

ps. I still have swag, so I'll be bringing stfuff!

Being Ruthless - Healthcare in the LA area

A while back I wrote about the word ruthless. This article indeed shows a ruthless man. Whether his motivations are for the good of society or his own empire is not a judgment one can make. Still, it is a good example on how being ruthless is portrayed as bucking a system that needs to be bucked and building an empire.

What is more extraordinary is how Reddy is building his empire. Modern healthcare is largely based on the model in which insurers seek to control costs by paying fixed amounts to doctors and hospitals. Reddy is tearing that down.

When Reddy's company, Prime Healthcare Services Inc., takes over a hospital, it typically cancels insurance contracts, allowing the hospital to collect steeply higher reimbursements. It has suspended services — such as chemotherapy treatments, mental health care and birthing centers — that patients need but aren't lucrative.

I think Reddy's challenges are good - but he's certainly not paying his debt to man forward. His attitude:

Patients, he said, may simply deserve only the amount of care they can afford.

"Why is it in healthcare we expect to have the same?" he asked. "It's an entitlement mentality. Why aren't the same people asking why everybody shouldn't be eating the same foods, or have the same clothes or same homes? Those are as essential services as healthcare."

This is a very petty and small minded view. Yes, you can justify intellectually, but karmacally, it does not help human evolution. If Reddy cared less about growing millions and being a powerful man, he could take his millions and work to change the system in another ways - one that benefits both his organization and new paradigm and the people doctors heal.

Click through for the Hippocratic oath.
h/t to DangerGirl.

Feeling Angsty?

I remember when I learned what the word angst meant. Or actually the first time I heard it. It was being used to describe some kind German angst or something... I think it was about the time I ran away from Germany in Europe and had Interpol looking for us. That's another story. (Teaser: I was 17 at the time and visiting my best friend in high school who was studying abroad outside of Hamburg. It was a dare gone awry... in a not so bad way - basically we did it for the adventure and to prove we could actually go through with things (we were pretty noncommittal those days).)

Anyway, besides introducing me to Campari (which was my favorite drink until I was 25), the Germans introduced me to angst. According to dictionary.com, there is good reason I associate angst with Germans.

angst [(ahngkst)]

A kind of fear or anxiety; Angst is German for “fear.” It is usually applied to a deep and essentially philosophical anxiety about the world in general or personal freedom. (See existentialism.)

Ah, yes, my old friend existentialism. Love ya Sartre. Simone de Beauvior. Camus. Depeche Mode. The Cure. Etc. Needless to say I was a very angst teenager. Actually, the angsty part of me has changed very little, matured a bit, doesn't come out as often. Any given day you could come home and find me pondering the nature of reality and depressed at how little the evolution is happening (I did that already on the blog today).

Anyway, the point of this blog post is PIMPING this cool event that LeahPeah is putting on called LA Angst. Actually, it's the second LA Angst.

LA Angst is a monthly reading series hosted by Leah Peterson in the greater Los Angeles area. We gather together to read our most embarrassing, humiliating, angst ridden and otherwise absolutely wonderful writing from our youth. Every month, selected readers comb through their middle school and high school writing and pick something that represents how completely impossible it is to grow up without looking back in shame. Join us for some entertaining, therapeutic and hysterical fun!

Yeah. Maybe I can even wrangle up some angsty teenage heather prose from that running away from Germany trip. Or minimally the first time I was in Brazil. Come along to Tangier - they have great pots du creme and martinis.

Pownce anyone?

So pownce is the next web 2.0 application. Blah. I looked at it over this weekend and am like, blah. I can't exactly figure out why I should care. Maybe if I had some friends I would figure out. I've got 6 invites. So the first 6 people who comment on this thread - or if you are witty and charming - can have an invite. But really, so far it just looks like a threadless t-shirt online...

LA Story

From the "another day in LA" category. I was driving down Santa Monica Blvd yesterday evening for Andrew's Web Review Meeting. The road was not it's usually jam packedness. The temperature has cooled off and I was listening to an old mix CD filled with my favorite mashups from two years ago. I was in a strange mood and missing the time when everywhere I turned I seemed to be in love with LA. Whereas recently I have been tired with the heat, the noise, smell, pressure.

I was in Beverly Hills, where SMB goes from 3 lanes into 2 lanes to 3 lanes or something like that. It was here that me and another guy started merging into the same (middle) lane. I'm not sure if he actually had a lane, or was pulling one of those, right turn lane moves, where you gun it to pass the right/center lane car to get in front of it. I was in the left lane, had my blinker on to get into the center lane. We both started merging into the center lane about the same time. I was accelerating because I saw he looked like he was merging into it too. He gunned his Black Truck and started yelling at me at the top of his lungs. I don't remember when I heard the last time someone yelled so loud. I could clearly hear him over my blasting base mashup. I was shocked at his reaction. He was as responsible for the situation as I was.  He zipped in front of me and I took my standard reaction to let him get as far away from me as possible. He was clearly crazy.
But you don't get away from someone so easily in this part of town. In fact, he later slowed down, whereas I passed him and he unloaded another barrage of negativity berating my "bad" driving. Whereas I responded back at him (yes, we were having a conversation while driving...) that he needed to chill the fuck out, and I had my blinker on, and that he might have a better life if he changed his attitude. Fate stopped us at different levels at the stoplight so our conversation could cease. I was thinking that the world is turning in a bad way and the negativity is sometimes too overwhelming for me to deal with it.

However later, the guy drove up next to me and apologized to me. He explained he was having a bad day and just wanted to get home. I can certainly understand his need and it's nice to see the small enlightenment he had (and his apology). But still... sometimes this world is just too much. The small steps of enlightenment are just that. I should be grateful for any small pieces, but instead, it just reminds me how fucked up we are.

No Surprise Here

I got sucked into this quick karma test. The response is no surprise, but remember enlightenment is not necessarily a goal, it's a state of presence that is as flittering as it is possible.

                       

TrueLifeKarma.com

n, Your Karmic Alignment is: Enlightenment!

Score: 23 You have a lot of positive karma, and have good intentions in life. People would normally characterize you with being a kind, sensitive giving person. Remember that by creating positive karma seeds, they will soon blossom. If you work hard enough it is capable to gain enlightenment, and maintain inner peace.

A Puppet Circus

My body is quivering with anticipation! Will you join me?

Shadow Circus uses life-sized latex puppets to create a seething underworld of
drugged-up dinosaurs, giant cockroaches and bizarre mythological beasts. For the past
seven years, they've inspired both acclaim and terror from the San Francisco arts
community. But this summer, the Bay Area's most belligerent puppetry troupe is
unleashing its surreal vision to its neighbors to the South... That's right, kids, Shadow
Circus is finally coming to Los Angeles...

Wooo! Thanks for the info Wa! xoxox.

Mainstreaming a Subculture

I drive around LA, I go to the grocery store. I drive on the freeway. I go to the Korean spa and pass through various neighborhoods. I go to the club, driving down sunset on Saturday night. Everywhere I go, I see communities. Subcultures. Choices. Options. Possibilities. People can be leaders and invisible at the same time. Subcultures are everywhere. It's a matter of who you want to be. What you want to do. You can rise to the top of any of them. You can create any one of them. You can participate in many numbers of them. It depends on what you want to do. And who you are. And who you want to be.

There are communities that are mainstream. Communities many people participate in. Many people identify with. How do you create a community? How do you take a subculture mainstream? _you_ don't create a community. _you_ don't take a subculture mainstream. A community is a collective vision created by participants. When that vision is so tantalizing and appealing to many people, easy to integrate their views, fills a void/need and allows individuals to grow and stretch, is easily integrated and has a bit of momentum, that community/subculture can go mainstream.

So how do you create a collective vision? And how do you make it so tantalizing to appeal and integrate to many people? And how (and who) decides when and what is appealing. And who leads, herds, trims, guides that vision? And how does one know what to include and what to trim? What to pay attention to and what to ignore? What are the applicable trends, who are the guerrilla glue connectors and what is the explosive firestarter? I know the answers to these questions. And, I know how to do this. The question to me now, is what is worthwhile of my efforts to do so?

Traveling Men

I recently came across another group of guys on a travel adventure. It's the ScootStars. Two guys travel across the US on 49cc scooters!

Add them to this growing list of travelers with a cause...

• Tuxedo Travels
• Project Pedal
• ScootStars

Rock on guys! Sounds like you're channeling Bruce Chatwin or Che! I'm excited to see how things turn out!

Magic Juniper

magic juniper
Originally uploaded by heathervescent.

One of many twisted juniper trees.

Oak Creek 6am

Oak Creek 6am
Originally uploaded by heathervescent.

This is the last photo I snapped on my way out of town. The moon was still up and it was 59 degrees.

Taking it Higher

*Note: This post is staying at the top for a while. For more recent posts, scroll down a bit! :)

For the past year plus I've been busy trying to bring together the Los Angeles technology community. I've been very successful at doing this - although this is not because of my efforts alone. A community is built by the people in it. The people who show up, who collaborate, who contribute. Two years ago, there was no LA technology community. I heard rumors of VIC and Coco's events, but these were phantom dreams. Today we have a very different environment. Before the end of this year there will be monthly g33k dinners, twiistup2, barcampLA4, startupcamp, web 2.0 mixers, drupal meetups, lunch 2.0, demo feedback sessions, ppt karaoke nights and more.

The community has created the demand for these events. (Please note, I do not produce, coordinate or organize all or even some of them.)I want to take it higher. To do this, I am calling the Los Angeles and greater technology community to participate. To be active in creating this community of individuals and companies.

Here's how you can help:

1. Join the list
2. Show up in person (to the geek dinner, barcamps, twiistup, meetups)
3. Support - I hate asking for money (well who likes it).  Most of these events are done dirt cheap. I'd like to see more technology companies financially involved. As sponsors in addition to participants. It's cheap to financially support these events and the companies that do gain amazing goodwill in the community.

Here are some ways you get involved now.

Twiistup2
There are still sponsorship opportunities for interested companies. Come to Venice August 8th. It's gonna be a great time.

Startup Camp LA
I'm helping kick off StartupCamp in LA - a 2 day event in the fall that will focus on best practices, dos and don'ts, VC pitch review and practical how to advice to start a tech company. Including a competition with a cash prize! We're looking for sponsors, speakers, biz plan reviews and general help. Attend, learn what it takes to start a company, build a product or pitch an idea. Come to scope out brand new idea and maybe find the next big Socal Startup.

Lunch 2.0 in LA
Some of us are kicking around starting up Lunch 2.0 - where a different tech company hosts lunch, a tour, a technology conversation at their company. Want to host?

Geek Dinners
I've started offering geek dinner sponsorship. About $200 sponsors drinks or desert at the geek dinner and gets goodwill in the geek community. Totally cheap and gets your insane goodwill in the community.

BarcampLA4
BarcampLA4 is happening this fall. Want to help make it happen? Want to find out when it's happening? Then get on the List!

I leave you with a quote recently arrived in my mailbox

As I let my own light shine, I unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. My playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around me. I was meant to shine. I was born to make manifest the glory of God that is within me."
- Adaptation of Nelson Mandela's Inauguration Speech

The community has been created. How will you participate?

Sonhando

I like this video I came across on YT. It reminds me of the final scene in the Sargasso Manuscript.

I like this one too. Although to get the full joke, you should know portuguese!

600 miles, 122 degrees

The temperature fluxuated from 59 to 122. I hit 122 just south of Tecopa in Death Valley. There was no one on the road. Just me and the heat. My air conditioning was set at 82 and that felt like an ice blast. I hit the 59 on Oak Creek Canyon on my way out of Sedona. Top was down and I put on my driving gloves and heated seat. I snapped a final shot of the red rocks. The waning moon was watching over my twisted mountain driving.

I took a circuitous route. Flagstaff (to which I internally chuckled, since Bjork was singing "Raise your flag, higher, higher") as I navigated the pavement and concrete byways north to west. Route 66 took me through Peachtree and Valentine, former an Indian town and the latter a gorgeous rocky area with a boarded up school. I dreamt of buying the town and turning the school into a club. The rocks reminded me of my gorgeous Joshua Tree Mojave land. Then off to Kingman, where I gassed up, bought some cool water and stopped at a little rockhound stores. Picked up some purple stones and headed to Nevada.

I have had Amargosa on my to visit list for a while and here I was a mere hundred miles or so from it. I also wanted to check out Pahrump (lots of motorcycle race events are held here) and possibly Tecopa (standing water in Death Valley!). However after 5+ hours and 300 or so miles I had to bail on Amargosa. I took the turn off to Tecopa and was rewarded with a blank slate of pavement and the raw heat on blistering rocks. For a moment fear rose in my throat. It's been over 115 for the past 4 hours, I've been driving my car to the bone with not a complaint (except for that rock chipping my windshield south of Prescott, AZ). Last time I was in Death Valley the truck died and my colleague in adventure and I hitch/hiked to the nearest phone to call in for help. I did not want to repeat that adventure.

When the temperature hit 120, I rolled down my windows. In 10 seconds the heat circled through the car. Scrolling through the radio gave a Billy Corgan Smashing Pumpkins rock block! Empty roads, whiny white boy rock and heat gave my eyes their favorite delight - prehistoric landscapes. Land not touched by man. My eyes flicked from dune to mudflat to rock pile to mountain of rock. Creosote bushes gave the only color until Tecopa palms flooded the grey with green!

For a moment I considered I stopping at the hot springs (and taking a refreshing splash?!) but I headed south to the Mad Greek's swarma and carrot/orange juice. Then it was a few short hours until I hit the cool double digit Los Angeles area. I rolled into Hollywood just as the sunset painted colors across the sky.

It was a fabulous Independence Day Drive.

Declare Independence

For the past two days I have had Bjork in my head. C put it there and it won't get out. But that's ok, because it's the theme song for today: Declare Independence.

And in a few moments I will pack up MsVescent, put the top down and we will drive away from this land of red rocks. It's my Independence Day Drive through the desert!

I'm excited because I'm taking a northern route and swinging through Nevada. I may hit up Death Valley and most definitely the Mojave National Preserve. It's too bad I'm not in an offroad vehicle, because the backcountry roads I know and love best are gonna be right off the pavement. Another time.

Desert Driving, Sedona Cicada

a few choice memories from yesterday
- top down on the 10 driving heat speed
- goosebumps on my flesh when 95 on my tempeture gague and speedometer met. Was it the adreneline? the wind?
- hot desert drive, up to 116
- lunch stop in blythe
- off the beaten trail
- twisted scenic roads (but my Puima Canyon training seems to have paid off). My wheels didn't scream around the curves
- Prescott, Jermone - a city on the side of the mountain
- and then the descent into the land of red rock
- this morning, the cicadas serenade me as I drink my coffee and plan adventures for the day.

City sayonara

I'm headed to Sedona as soon as I pack this cool LA morning into my suitcase. Goodbye noisy city. Hello deserts that I love.