I hate snow (and skiing)

So I am here in Mammoth for a few days of vacation. So far, it has been horrible. Why?

1. I hate the cold.
I spent way too much of my life in cold freezing places. I have an ongoing argument with a friend of mine on which would be worse - to be too hot or too cold. I would rather be too hot. My argument is that you can always take clothes off. His argument is that you can always put more clothes on. We each have our own positions, and being up here where my car temperature gauge read 6 degrees last night (and I had my headed seat blasting) just reminds me how much I hate the cold.

2. I hate snow.
I love water. I think water is the drug of humans. But I prefer it in its liquid form. I love swimming, scuba diving, snorkeling. Jumping and splashing and playing in major surf. I love rain and thunderstorms and rivers and streams and agua de beber. Give me water, but do not give me snow.

3. I hate ski boots.
As far as I'm concerned, wearing ski boots is about as comfortable as having my feet amputated. Well maybe not really, because I've never had my feet amputated, but I wanted to nuclear bomb all snow areas and all skiiers while I was wearing them. And then I wanted to build a huge bonfire with sticks of dynamite inside ski boots covered with kerosine, gasoline and other liquid flammables. And then warm myself by it's exploding brightness. Ski boots are the devil.

I could go on about how I hate people and being places where there are many of them. And how I can barely stand or walk in the torture device ski boots, but it's all just venom. I would consider snow shoeing or snowmobiling or even cross-country skiing (although that's low on the list). But never, never, never again am I going to attempt to ski. Or snowboard. I've tried them both. I'm not impressed.

I should have known. As someone who is passionate about the desert and hot climates, why would I remotely enjoy a snowy mountain village? But I thought maybe I'd change my mind. Skiing sounded kind of fun. Maybe I could try it again and like it this time. But no.

I'm just fine if I never see snow ever again or put on another ski boot. I do know, that as soon as I get back to LA, I'm starting my search for a new motorcycle, with some hard luggage. Because I hear the call of the desert and the wide open road. Fuck this snow bullshit.

Comments

[Stan]

I'm totatlly with you on this one. I used to enjoy skiing when I was a kid, but after I grew up, I decided that I hate cold and snow. That's (part of) why I moved to L.A.

[Will Campbell]

I'm with ya H. Put the "no" in snow!

[Lars]

Unless you're wearing an infinite number of garments you can NOT always take clothes off. And if you are, you need to get up real early to dress.

There are reports of a mythical state called 'nekkidness' in the original Sanskrit that is said to have been reached by some brave wise men. While it is very hard to observe in modern America, some claim it is still a real possibility.

[pinky the first]

Lars, you're so literal. ;-P

Heather, if stomping around in ski boots is what it takes to get you back in the saddle, amen! let the Mr. go play in the snow, and next time stay here and play with your friends. You don't have to share ALL the same interests! Snow and cold are nasty and evil. OK, I'm off to work now, wearing my electric vest because it's a brisk 54 degrees!!!

[pachabel]

I live in a very hot climate, and I have to tell you, you can run out of clothing to take off, and you are still too hot! Yesterday I was in my underwear, it was too hot to go outside - the sun was scalding hot. The only safe place was in front of an air conditioner. Everyone was confined to the cooler parts of the house.