It happened again last night. Someone I had just met made a remark about me and Xeni Jardin. It's a comment I get a fair amount.
I suppose I should be flattered by this remark but it irks the hell out of me.
Why?
Because my whole life has been spent figuring out what and execute on being who I want to be - the best heathervescent possibility. I have no heros nor idols save pippi longstocking. Take note of this quote:
Look for your own. Do not do what someone else could do as well as you. Do not say, do not write what someone else could say, could write as well as you. Care for nothing in yourself but what you feel exists nowhere else. And, out of yourself create, impatiently or patiently, the most irreplaceable of beings.
– André Gide
Which would mean if I am focusing on being the realization of my human potential that I'd be different from everyone else, because we're all unique beings.
I also like to take the contrarian view - meaning I like to look at what people are NOT looking at. Because, as the Chink puts it in Even Cowgirls Get the Blues, those things exist or need to exist. See this post of 2 years ago:
I'm not different because I want to stand out. I'm not different because I want attention or to be noticed. I'm just like everyone else. I'm a human. I breathe air. I live. I do things differently because their are many things that need to be expressed. There are plenty of people expressing popular and "mainstream" things. The expression capacity of those experiences is fairly full, and more people will do those popular and mainstream things because they are accessible and often appropriated as an acceptable thing to do/express.
I do things differently because I see activities and perceptions and experiences that have a need to be expressed, experienced. And I see few people expressing/experiences these items.
So I do things like my mashup radio show and coordinating the LA geek dinners because they need to happen. They're my work orders from the universe.
No body wants to be compared to anyone else. We're not cookie cutter personalities - especially those who cultivate who they are. And maybe that is why I get compared to Xeni Jardin. Maybe it's because she's got this known media persona. And since there are so many supposed superficial similarities, it's easy for people to categorize me in the same bucket. Because in reality we are both probably pretty uncategorized.
That's fine. I wish her well in expressing her most unique Xeni. In the meantime, I'll continue on my trajectory. Maybe our contrails will cross at some point. But I'm certainly not changing courses to intercept or avoid hers.
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