relief and limitations

I was going to keep quiet on this topic, because it's had heated discussion on and off the blog, but here goes. There are always at least two sides to the story and I'm not about to launch into the specifics of my side, because it doesn't really matter.

What does matter, is the very real relief I now feel, now that I no longer have the responsibility of Moki. Don't get me wrong, he's a nice dog and I have fun with him - for optional short periods of time. But doing what I did, had me drowning and when I started asking for help, people started throwing rocks, and ok, I threw a few rocks myself, but they were rocks tied to my feet. That doesn't make it right, but it does take two to fight. And I’m still human, or else I wouldn’t be here on this earth. And my life is no less important than anyone else’s.

The big learning lesson from this is about Limitations, one of the 2006 daggers. Knowing my limitations and standing by them. But when the whole Moki thing started out, no end date was in sight, no limitation. I was too nice, accepting a burden I was not really comfortable with, and then I thought I was doing the right thing and not raise the my issues. (If you were any of my friends that I see on a regular basis, you would have known my real feelings on the matter back in January.) Wrong, wrong, wrong. I should have raised my concerns back in January, when this all started. But here, I get to be taken to task for trying to be helpful and failing. (Oh I'm sure you negative observers will be able to make this out to whatever horrible idea you can come up with, but I'm being honest and telling you directly what was going through my mind - and my (wrong) choice to put someone else, in front of me.)

Anyway, even one night, I feel so much more relaxed and rested. It's like I have been under this huge burden the past almost 3 months, the dog GTD item popping up in my head constantly. Never never done. Constantly adding more and more to my workload. I'm back to being only responsible for me, myself and the life I want. I was stuck in quagmire.

Now, I can finally pick up some of the pieces that have fallen in the meantime. It feels so good and refreshing.

Comments

[Annika]

People become so angry when we admit that we have reached our limit. I'm glad that you are rested now.

[toonice]

It doesn't sound like you will ever learn how to communicate maturely with people. You hit your limit and then make ridiculous demands, confusing people and making yourself look like an immature idiot.

[Will Campbell]

"Toonice?" More like oxyMORON.

[Annika]

I thought it was kind of it to prove my point so succinctly. Rude, but convenient.

[heathervescent]

Yeah. And just a few comments ago, someone was berating me about supposedly kicking someone when they were down...

Anyway, now that I have my energy back, I can easily laugh at these negative people.

It really dramatically showed me, how extremly stressed with the situation I was. And how well I knew what I needed. It's too bad, it had to be a crisis before it could be resolved.