Although a lot of people usually try to disagree with me on this, especially when I bring it up at parties, I am actually an introvert. Although I'll go to great effort and energy to put together parties and events, I usually prefer to step back into the "hostess" role, where I get to go hide in the kitchen and take care of making sure the scene looks prop perfect, rather than having just mingling with random people. Then again, when I'm throwing an event, I always want to close up doors, shut off lights and leave right before the event - and pretend like it was never going to happen. Somehow, I always stop myself from doing this.
That's probably also why I enjoy blogging. I can "talk" about all kinds of things about myself, my observations of the world all while having a conversation with myself. Yes, the reason I blog, is to remember myself. Remember who I am, who I was, how I have changed. It's the map of my life and it's easily accessible now because of the "Inter-net"!
If you're interested in reading more about introverts and care and feeding. This article from the Atlantic two years ago is interesting.
I find that my introverted self is my true self, and that the social butterfly mode that people see at parties is either a) a defense mechanism b) a manner in which introverts fake like they're not.
Posted by: Ron | February 27, 2006 at 04:02 PM