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June 10, 2005



Was your grandmother your first experience with death?


"And yet, I am not in control. And yet, I am in control."

This argument has likely gone on in many a head since the beginning of thought. To me, it is worth a great deal to recognize and accept that I am *not* in control of my own life; no one truly can be. However, I am (or, at least, I should be) in control of my own self -- my decisions, my actions, my reactions, etc. -- and as such, I have the ability to be a (if not the) major driver in my own life.

There are far too many variables in one's life to claim to be able to control them all. But to be able to master one's self, one can become, if not the infallable commander of the winds and seas, at least the captain of one's own ship.

Not that I claim to have mastered myself, by any means. But that would seem the immediate goal, the platform on which everything else can be discovered and built.


I have experienced death before, but not the death of the most important person in my life.


I suppose control might be the wrong word. Being in tune with the ebb and flow of the world. Knowing when to dive into the wave or jump over or deciding which one you want to do at that moment.

Mastering oneself is merely the first step. Awareness makes living infinitely interesting.


True. Mastering oneself (IMO) isn't just about self-control. I think awareness/mindfulness -- a.k.a. being "in tune" -- is a necessary part of such mastery. Listening to the inside as well as the out, and the harmonics between the two.

Something like that.

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