I've been wanting to write this post for a while, and while it seems a little, idk, pretentious or something, I'm going ahead with it. Because maybe I want to empower some of you not so sekret internet admirers. Although, it's totally cool to keep the internet crush sekret. I love sekret internet crushes. But if you want to take things beyond the screen, here are some tips for engaging with me in the flesh.
As a strong woman, I think many men must think I always want to be the boss. The truth is, I tire of always being in charge. Being with someone who considers my wants and needs and can take care of me - even if for dinner or coffee - is such a relief and pleasure.
- Ask me to go out. I generally do not ask guys out, however I do signal that I am interested/open. If I've signaled to you that I'd like to hang out the ball is in your court. I like men who make the first move. If you don't, it's cool. I'm not waiting. I live my life. I know it might be intimidating to approach me, but that courage is on you. I'm a human, so just talk to me like I'm one. :-)
- Take charge. I get tired of being in charge for pretty much all aspects of my life. Sometimes, I just want to go for a ride. I want to surrender. Give me chance to enjoy the moment. Take care of things. Let me sit in the passenger seat -- I get so many rare opportunities to do. Extra points if we go driving (you drive) because I love cars and feeling the centrifugal force pushing me against the seat going through the curves.
- Pay for it. I'm an independent woman and have my shit together financially. For years, I felt I had to prove this by offering to pay for half or contributing on dates. But, the real truth is that I like being taken out. I like it when you take care of everything. I take myself out and go with friends all the times. I pay for that. I rarely have an opportunity for someone to take me out. If I offer to pay for half on a first date, it means you're being friendzoned. Same if I offer and you accept, friendzoned. I know you probably don't realize that secret language of mine, so that's why I'm writing it here.
- Honesty. Life can be simple and complex. We're not 16 anymore. We've got lifetimes of experiences. Personal situations can be complex or unusual or embarrassing. So what. Just be honest, with what you are looking for/able/interesting in. Life is short and we all die, and life is long and has many twists and turns.
You might not like any of these things, and may disagree, and that's totally cool. You don't have to ask me out. But I thought I'd give some tips for those admirers who might want to get in touch, to improve your chance of success.
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