I've been re-reading The Scar by China Mievelle. It's one of my favorite sci-fi/alt-world fantasy novels.
The story has artifacts throughout it - possibility machines - mostly centered around Uther Doul, a character who is an expert with these possibility machines. Uther has a strange relationship with the narrator Bellis. At one point, it seems that he and Bellis are hanging out at lot together. There is this growing tension, her attraction growing but unsure of his interests/intentions. We read the story from Bellis' point of view, and she shares her frustration with his continued interest, yet failure to act. aka a failure to collapse the possibilities into a single reality.
As I bounced around Santacon today, it occurred to me that they have a possible relationship. Until the possibility field collapses into a single present reality, there are many possible trajectories. And as each day passes, with new interactions between them, tension grows, possibilities increase!
With that insight I realized what the fuck I am doing right now "dating wise." (Because I real and truly threw away the map I previously used.) I'm cultivating possibilities.
Thinking about it this way, I'm reflecting on the seemingly many platonic relationships with men I have going on right now. Some friends, some x's, some some other possibilities. Some frustrate me, some I have come to terms with. Some, their possibilities are exhausted, some whose possibilities will never be realized.
I sit here with them, creating, experiencing a possible relationship. The grid of what could be floats around us, flickering possibilities suspended in a probability grid, where to select one, would be to collapse them all. (I've written about collapsing possibilities before.)
As a futurist, I would be thinking, analyzing, considering which future "I" "wanted". As Uther Doul, I would savor those flickering possibilities, watching them increase and decrease in probability.
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