My friend, Miko, convinced me to attend Bhaktifest this week. I was a bit skeptical at first, it started a few days after Burning Man (he assured me it was the best decompression) and I'd take another week off. Plus, he was bringing a crew of awesome peeps to stay out at the Dome. Plus... OMG Bhaktifest - I'm not sure I'm ready to be public in a space with that kind of thing.
Miko has never steered me wrong, so I took his advice. Yesterday was the opening day of my first Bhaktifest.
I wander in and come upon the main stage. I start to feel uncomfortable. Immediately, the judgement talk on these "hippy" people, singing, dancing, whatever wants to start. But I stay there, I stay there and listen to this music - that was unfettered emotional love and devotion expressed.
Standing in the back, feeling vulnerable. The feeling grows. But I stay, rolling the flavor around in my chest. Exploring. Flickering tongue tasting the nuances of the emotion. I do not run away.
Knowledge unfolds, this feeling of vulnerability with an open heart is not vulnerability, because it's connected to something bigger that runs through us.
This gives me courage. My heart has been stomped, cock-blocked, and turned into kale smoothie. I revisit the wounds of my heart. Connecting to the larger power weaving through humanity. I wish these men I've loved courage, I forgive them their fear - denial, obstructionism, fear of action. I forgave myself for doubting myself.
As the afternoon passes, my heart relaxed - opening. I kept the channel open, adding my own practice to increase the intensity.
The reformatting has begun.
funderfully smitten.
Posted by: Lance | 04/05/2016 at 07:00 AM