heathervescent

Ignite3 Line-up

I'm really excited about our 3rd Ignite here in Los Angeles on June 7th. We had a record number of absolutely AMAZING submissions. It took a lot of deliberation to select the speakers. Our only consolation for those awesome submittions not on stage this month, is ... you're on the short-list for IgniteLA4!

A note about our venue, V Lounge. We selected a larger capacity venue from our previous Ignite. We loved CineSpace, but wanted to offer a longer program and increase attendance capacity. However, even with the increase, we expect standing room only. We encourage you to arrive in plenty of time and we're working on an even larger venue for next time.

The event is FREE, but please register and support the event by having a cocktail or some snacks at V Lounge, they're donating the space. Space is first-come, first-serve. (Registering helps us plan future IgniteLAs.)

When: June 7, 7:30-11pm, talks start at 8:15pm
Where: V Lounge, 2020 Wilshire Blvd, Santa Monica, CA 90403 (in West LA)
Cost: Free to attend, but you are responsible for paying for your own food/drinks.
Parking: Valet or neighborhood street parking (decent)

To spark your interest here's a partial list of our June 7th topics and speakers:

• Directed Evolution, Frances Arnold, Caltech
• Another Earth, Amir Give'on, NASA JPL
• Write How To Make The Best Of Living In A War Zone, Liz Grover, Writer/Filmmaker
• Financing the Future, Glenn Yago, Exec Dir of Financial Research, Milken Institute
• An Amazing History of Awesome Stuff Underground, Molly Steenson, Design Researcher
• Asking a girl out with PPT, Jason Porath, Professional Effects Artist and Technical Director
• Mechanical Olympics, Xtine Burrough, Media Artist & Asst Prof CSU Fullerton
• Meditation and Consciousness, Pedram Shojai, Taoist & Qi Gong master, Wellness Expert
• Collaborative Filmaking, Sheila Hardy, Filmmaker,  Eve's Lime
• Teaching Kids Programming, Lynn Langit, Microsoft Evangelist & Digigirls
• The Internet in China, Christine Lu, CEO, Affinity China

If you've been sparked by the above topics, we hope you'll join us on Monday, June 7th at V Lounge to hear about interesting projects by passionate people.

The IgniteLA Organizers,

• Dan
• Heather
• Michael
• Social Animal

Hbombtastic Events

I can't stop myself. I am compelled to create these spaces, these experiences. I hope you'll join me if you are into these same things.

• June 7: Ignite 3 in Los Angeles
• June 12-13: Humanity Plus Summit (ps. I'm speaking!)
• June 15: Geek Dinner REDUX @ Canters
• July 24: Save the Date for Xmas in July

********************************************

Ignite3

When: June 7, 7:30pm
Where: V Lounge (2020 Wilshire Boulevard, Santa Monica, CA 90403-5608)
What: 5 Minutes. 20 Slides. 15 Seconds per Slide.
Cost: Free
RSVP & Details

Speakers get only 5 minutes to give an amazing, inspiring talk. In LA, there are tons of different communities at the intersection of tech, academia, art, green/sustainability, entertainment, unique lifestyle design, entrepreneurship, digital/collaborative media, and social action that don't know each other but should. Think of Ignite as a set of trailers for exciting projects people are doing that you should know about.

LA Geek Dinner REDUX

The LA Geek Dinner returns for one night.

When: Tuesday, June 15, 2010, starting around 7:30pm
Where: Canters Deli, Mid-Town on Fairfax near Melrose
What: People who self-identify as geeks
Details

How does it work: Show up, order a drink, some food, be open and friendly, meet some new people, have some interesting conversations, eat some pastrami. It’s a chill scene. No uber networking, self-promotion or company promotion. Just be cool. We’re all friends you haven’t met yet. RSVP on our old friend Upcoming

XMAS in JULY: Santa Needs A Vacation

Save the date for Xmas in July: July 24th. Suggestion: Santa like red bikini's! Planning meeting soon.

Future of Space Travel Analogy

The breakthrough came this morning:

Birds are to the Earth as Humans are to Space.

The analogy is not as simple as it may seem. There is a new Nature report out describing a type of internal GPS/internal avian magnetic compass that birds use to navigate their migrations.

Wouldn't it be cool (and perhaps it is necessary) for humans to create/develop a similar sense to navigate to cosmos?

The Caveman Picnic: Saturday May 8th

A couple years ago, when I was dressed as Santa and slightly inebriated at a bar in Silverlake, I was reminiscing how awesome the LA Brea Tar Pits were as an Icon of Los Angeles. And I wanted to throw an event there. But what would be the perfect event at bubbling vats of tar in the middle of LA? Why, a Caveman Picnic! Two years later, I'm finally getting around to organizing it. After careful consideration, I decided to move the picnic from the tar pits, to the Old Zoo in Griffith Park - which has actual "cave" enclosures which look straight out of a caveman film set. It's very cool.

So I invite you to come on out to the 1st Annual Caveman Picnic in Griffith Park this Saturday.

Noonish until 4 or so.

How to get to the old zoo picnic area? Park in either:
- Lot 2 for the Carousel
- Old Zoo Picnic area

Then walk a short while up the path to an open green with picnic tables and old zoo enclosures. I will try to put up signs in the old zoo picnic area.

I will have signs posted around the Old Zoo/Carousel 2 parking lot.

This is a BYO Everything/Pot-luck:
You may want to bring

• a folding chair,
• extra cups,
• ice,
• sangria,
• plates,
• trash bags,
• a blanket,
• hula-hoops,
• instruments,
• games,
• big foam clubs,
• extra caveman attire.

Unfortunately there are no BBQ grills allowed where we are picnicking.

If you have extra caveman attire, games, clubs, animal costume heads, a mammoth, etc, bring them.
Activities may include: club fights, hiking, riding the carousel, galavanting, scavenger hunt, mammoth hunt, etc. 

Prepare to take a trip back in time: pre-history Los Angeles, where Giant Sloths and Mammoth's better watch where they step otherwise they'll end up on display in a museum hundreds of years in the future.

Introducing the first annual Caveman Picnic. Wear your caveman or cavewoman finest and join us at the Griffith Park Old Zoo for an afternoon of froliking about caveman style. Roll out your fur blankets and bring that bucket of KFC. We'll reinvent the wheel and play some caveman games.

BYO Everything. Be discrete about your beverages.
No Stoves, BBQs, fire where we are picnicing

You can RSVP on Facebook if you are so inclined.

Cracked Earth

The gunshots reverberated on the mountain range. I could see the sound rolling and curving around in the shape of the mountains. It sounded just like a jet airplane. Hours earlier, we had hiked to the top of one of the rocky fingers. Humanity shrinking as we took in the view. The landscape expanded and I swept my gaze on it, like licking an ice cream cone. The line between dry lakebed and chaparral was obvious. The El Nino rains have been good to the desert plants. The creosote responded in kind, with bright green leaves and yellow flowers. They made the mountain and desert plains greener than I have ever seen them. 

It was easy to see the underground stream in the lakebed by the line of flowers growing in the middle of it. Later, pup and I walked out to explore and sat in the dry cracked dirt filled with yellow flowers of the stream. I noticed shadows moving around us. High above us, between earth and sun, sever dark birds circled us. I stared up at them, wondering were they crows or buzzards. I watched their circling swarming method. Then one broke off. Slowly the rest of them followed the leader as it made it way over to the next mountain range. The wind brought my attention back to the ground.

There's something out being out there. Out in the wind. The heat. The starkness. It reflects. I don't like sharing it with other people. It's like an oasis I like to keep secret. It's like going to another planet - you go there to experience a different reality. But if you bring your whole reality with you, it contaminates that you are trying to experience.

Shotgun Wedding 
Originally uploaded by heathervescent

Shotgun Wedding

Shotgun Wedding
Originally uploaded by heathervescent

Time will tell whether the wedding dress remains, or rather it is merely remains. This piece is entitled: Shotgun Wedding: BYOShotgun. I fully know that it may (most likely) be used as target practice, but I hope it is enjoyed in the spirit in which I left it.

Competition vs Collaboration

I've been trying to come to terms with a (business) world that is fixated on competition, crushing and winning. My own inclinations are to collaboration - building something together. I've about given up on being successful because the moment competition gets added to the mix, I lose interest and walk away. Should I not give away this weakness? Do I lack the drive to be truly successful? I wonder. Anyway, I decided to do a little research on the matter and found this really nice comment on this post. I too, have studied aikido (about a decade ago) and it made an impact on my worldview.

I was a younger woman at the time, in my early 20s and, while we did have quite a few women aikidoists/aikidota, most of my practice partners were men. And some of them were big assholes (or going through an asshole phase).

I really like what this guy says here:

When I exert power OVER someone else in order to win, actually both the winner and the loser are weak. Whereas when I connect powerfully WITH my opponent (partner), we both become more powerful. 

That's what I'd like to see. Collaboration joins forces... sometimes for an instant, rarely for eternity.

Power over vs. power with

 Posted by michaelwolff at Jun 23, 2009 05:06 PM

In Western culture there is a sense that when I compete and win I am therefore stronger, more powerful and more successful. In the same culture, when I collaborate, I do so out of weakness because I do not have the power to win. 

Practising an Eastern martial art (say aikido) one learns that the opposite is true. When I exert power OVER someone else in order to win, actually both the winner and the loser are weak. Whereas when I connect powerfully WITH my opponent (partner), we both become more powerful. 

Connecting powerfully WITH someone is the willingness to extend oneself for the purpose of nurturing one's own and another's well being. So in this respect, where collaboration is the process of connectinv powerfully with each other for the mutual benefit of the collaborating parties, then clearly this mode of behaviour is preferable to competition. 

Poems

I wrote these a decade ago and they have been rattling in my head a bit more than usual the past month. I put them here to remind myself.

I went,

I went and took.

What did I leave in return?

My Change.

(upon my first visit to Foz de Iguacu / South America, 1995)

*     *     *

I'll give you what you want,

mind,

body,

soul.

Except one thing,

I have to escape.

This poem is pretty much the crux of my existence. I can't explain it. You just have to get it on another level. The closest thing that comes to it is the phrase "ghost in the shell."

A French Surrealist

I'm lurking in the back of the gilded theatre. Surrounded by drunk techno-wannabes and some truly innovative engineer-future-hacker-developers. I'm irritated at the 20 something asian chick playing the black guy and the indian guy off each other. The art on the screen reminds me a long lost "friend" - and the status of his projects - awareness smacking. It pulled me out of one of my existentialist crisis a decade ago. But not today. In that decade I've traveled down the caverns in Brazil into the sacred city of the Euboise, fought Innana and the Piper at the Gates of Dawn, lost my golden fleece and retreated to the city of Angeles to strategize archetype creation.

I hate crowds. Large groups of anonymous. Faces forward to the spotlight. I'm trying to enjoy myself, but failing. I feel like my time would have been better spent working on my forecasts at home. But then I remember I have friends here. It's just the stage takes the spotlight. I never liked art in museums. I preferred them in the grungy artists studios, painting stacked against the wall.

I like individuals. The people. You meet. That's why I'm here. To eat at a different table. To expose myself. To bullshytte like that coquettish asian chick. To remember the world is more than that I create in my mind. That the future is not up to me.

---

I'm turning over rocks. I'm rolling thought experiments on the backburner. I've recently had a break-though.The trend: the world is flat, the earth is the center of the solar system (universe). Those are concepts that were well believed - before science proved them incorrect. I've been looking for these incorrect current beliefs/understandings all my life. I love thinking about what we believe in today - the truth so hidden - but will be so obviously false and untrue in the unveiling. I found one of those the other day. It's revolutionary and radical and yet, I can look back and see the pathway glimmers. The outer edges of the concept. It has to do with view, perception, reality and the world. 

The understanding and concepts of energy will have dramatic breakthroughs and shifts.

---

I'm enjoying the cool air. The tobacco smells strange to me. I miss the smoke of cloves. The evening has passed. I'm speeded down the Hollywood freeway. And as angsty as I've been tonight I realize, I'm really happy with who I am. I am exactly what I want to be. And I wouldn't change places with anyone.

Misunderstood

When I was 14, I would spend copious amounts of time in the library. Mostly the philosophy and religion sections. I clearly remember one of these sections. There was a thick book - I have no idea the author or name of the book - but it clearly dealt with the individual and society. I don't remember really the words, but I remember what I took from reading a few of the passages. (It was a decision to be neither a leader nor a follower.)

Several years later, I went back to find that seminal (to me) book. To remember and read the entire thing, to know the author, to acquire a copy of the book for myself. But when I went back and found that book - and read the same passage - the words were different from what I remembered. I wondered, how could I have so misunderstood the author those years ago. Reading them then, they had the opposite meaning from what I remembered. So much for the rally cry I had heard in my head.

I placed the book back on the shelf and left that library - never to return. (I had moved to another town.) But I wondered, how did that just happen? How can one read a book at one time, and then at a later time - and the book means different things? The words do not change; however I do. And the same words can have different understandings, as you change.

A new kind of Stress

Usually I hold it in my body. I tense up, it gets stuck in various places. But this is changing. It's hard to put a finger on it, but I feel more stressed than ever before, but, I'm relaxed. Balls are (almost) dropping, things are soon to be cut out, work is not up to my high level of perfectionist quality. The pressure is on. I see the vision, what I want to create, but I'm stuck down here slogging it out with a broken machete and my reinforcements haven't arrived and they're 45 days late and I've almost stop thinking about the future.

That's what sucks about being a futurist, having to live in the present. Being stuck living in the present. The present not evolving, moving forward fast enough to get to the future. Having limited time, managing distractions, juggling changing priorities. What have I gotten myself into?

Everybody Wins?

Homeless receive presents in form of clothes/etc on Xmas from Companies donating them. Company feels good about helping the homeless.

Homeless person sells item on the street to random person. Person buys present from homeless for cents on the dollar. Person gets a deal on the item. Homeless person buys hard drugs.

Everyone feels good.

Or do they?

or watch this video, after our humble narrator smokes crack (and shoots up) for the first time. (Really a must watch)

Great Art

"They’re accessible and subversive at the same time. If that isn’t the definition of great art, what is?" (source)

YES!!! Accessible and subversive. Open and Closed. Displaying both sides of the coin, along with the coin, and the limitations of a coin. Opening the art to outsiders to experience and express it their own way. To make what is not theirs, theirs and thusly important.

Stress-fighting Sleep

I got a Zeo for my birthday and I absolutely love it. I've been having a lot of fun learning how to use and gather data on my own sleep schedules. I'll write a long review post soon, but I wanted to share something I learned about stress and sleep.

The two highest ZQ scores I got (104 and 106) were the nights of days I was completely stressed out. I got my highest one last night after a fairly difficult/stressful day. My stress ranges from work (I'm a workaholic), eating too much sugar/coffee, emotional, etc. Yesterday had a bunch of those.

I've been working to release our next product and the bugs have been troublesome. Then there was some other somewhat stressful work news. Then I ate too many cupcakes. Later I had a drink with a friend where we talked about some pretty deep things, and by the time I got home, I was delirious and unable to make a decision on where to go for dinner. It was the deadline for an art grant, which I decided to try for 1 day prior and had to create a brand spanking new artistic CV in 24 hours. Yeah, I like pressure.

They boyfriend crammed some food into me, gave me a massage and I was in bed by 10pm. I was in deep sleep 20 minutes later and awoke to chimes and a 106 ZQ about 7:30am this morning. I feel like a million bucks and ready to take on the day. (I've actually been taking it on for several hours already.)

So I know for certain, when I am stressed, the best way to deal with it - get 9+ hours of sleep. 

I'm a big proponent of sleep and I hate getting less than 7 1/2. I know that's not always possible, but if you're dying of stress and you need a break, go to bed early. Your body knows how to take care of itself if you just give it the time.

Anti-environmentalist??

I'm second guessing myself again. I'm trying to come up with all kinds of reasons to debase my feelings of negativity about the growing focus on "causes" and "saving the world" and "doing good" and being sustainable and green and blah blah blah hippy bullshit. 

I've blamed my contrarian nature. I blame negative associations with supposed save the worlders. I blame myself getting old and curmudgeon and turning into someone that I would despise. I blame my inner troll. Really, I'm just trying to understand why all these so-call supposed good and green things make me want to go out and start dumping oil into the fucking ocean or exploding nuclear waste in flames or something equally stupidly retard and self-destructive in response to all the green save the world energy.

Tonight, as the boyf and I were cooking dinner, I asked him if I was really some shallow red-neck uneducated person who doesn't give a shit about the earth, the world? And he shot right back at me without a seconds breath - it was the self-righteousness. He of course hit the nail on the head. There is this holier than thou, this, I am doing such good to/with/for the world - and you should too - or if you're not I am a better person. It really turns me off. 

This self-righteousness is used as marketing, as a ploy to go "green". It's another way to stupidly compare/value yourself to someone else - and shore up that perceived lack with our easy green products! Lucky for us Americans, we can buy our way into not feeling bad that we live in the nation that uses the most resources. Yay!

This week I have been doing a lot of thinking about values - mine and the worlds. These two filmmakers /save the world types grabbed me in the TJs parking lot yesterday. I don't usually bother talking to anyone with a clipboard, but last night I was feeling ... I don't know... more open than usual. So I chatted with them. They were doing a "noble" job of getting people to sponsor children's clean water or education. I started grilling them on why they were doing this gig since both of them were in the film biz. They responded that it was a way to spend a day they weren't doing anything else doing, make a few bucks and feel good about helping these kids. I questioned them, couldn't they do better, more effective work applying their craft to this mission? But that did not fly. (I still think they needed the cash and yes it did make them feel good, but I bet they wouldn't do what they were doing for free!)

I admit, I baited them with some radical thoughts (why not let these children die? The world is too overpopulated as it is? Isn't it better for these kids to die young and allow a sibling a better chance of survival? I admit, it's a harsh line, and not one that I necessarily believe in. But I tried the idea on for a moment to see what it was like (and hear there responses).

Walking home, I thought about our conversation, and what I really believed. I know from my recent grad school studies that it's the underdeveloped nations that have the worst time of it - overpopulation, disease, lack of education. And to decrease world population you have to improve conditions through health and education before you see birth rate go down. And even then, I question whether with education and health improvements, population really does go down?

But back to values. I realized that I operate under a different value set from the one those guys were operating under. I didn't want to save every life possible. I mean, I used too, but that was too stressful and didn't matter that much in the long run.

I thought about my plants, and how sad I get when one plant is not doing as well as another. When my tomatoes last summer got infested with aphids it pained me to throw them out after I tried for weeks and weeks with natural and finally chemical pest treatments. My aunt remarked upon this, you have to always plant some for the insects. Now I'm not necessarily comparing these children to my plants, but why do I have more empathy to these growing/non-human things and not children. (Well, I do think children are alien energy suckers, but that's a different story.)

It was my values of saving every pedaco of life in my tomato plants that gave me stress. I was stressed out that I wasn't a good plant mom. That I did something wrong to attract the aphids. That I should have caught them earlier. That I felt bad they were suffering by having their energy literally sucked out their stems. If I had not tried to save the one plant that was infested first then all my others would not have ended up in the trash. (Well, not as fast at least.)

And is that so bad? I mean, a tomato plant is going to die eventually either from aphids or something else. Who am I to interfere with the world flow? Am I some God that thinks I can bestow immortality on my tomato plants or at least a longer growing cycle via Miracle Grow?

I don't _want_ to save the world. In fact, I don't believe the world needs saving. It's humans that need saving. (Oh Jesus, you were right!) The world will to continue to exist, whether or not us humans continue to exist. And some day, us humans will cease to exist - completely. Everything that exists now will no longer exist. All so-called artifacts or buildings or anything that is created by any of us will cease being in the form it is in. (I sometimes wonder what kind of oil our refuse will create.) Humans are some pretty fucked up animals. But then again, we're pretty amazing too.

Which is why I believe that to truly "change the world" you have to (and I quote Michael Jackson) start with the man in the mirror. Clean up your shit at home. God only knowns that's what us Americans need to do right now. Stop saving the world - and start saving yourself. But if you don't want to do that, that's fine with me too.

Personally, I'm rooting for the world. I don't think us humans can do it, although I'm trying my best. When it means the end of humanity as we know it, well then, it's been nice knowing you and living in the best of all possible worlds. I'll see you on the flipside of eternity either way.

March Cacophonista

People participate in cacophony-esque events for a variety of reasons. I do it because I like the absurd, interrupting the normal and because life is a stage. Here are some events you can participate in this weekend:

Los Angeles's Impov Everywhere Group
(facebook event link) (@glaimprov)

When: 12pm (noon), Saturday, March 20th, 2010
Meeting Point: Sunset/Vermont Metro station for the briefing. When you arrive, please check-in with us. There will be signs at the station showing you where to check- in.

Bring: Classy Party Attire. Party favors and party hats, but nothing that leaves a mess.

LA Bunnyhop
(facebook event link) (@labunnyhop)

Starts Saturday at Noon at Vermont and Sunset (joining the Countdown)
It's been five years since the last LA Bunny Hop... It's time again. I got a wild hare and decided to gather all you down bunnies for a day of bar-hopping good times... by metro of course. Keep your ears up for more updates.

1. Dress for the occasion. (Bunnies!)
2. Prepare for an easter egg hunt. Bring goodies or something to carry goodies.
3. Follow the LA Bunny Hop on twitter. Stick with your bunnies, but the "schedule" is open to liberal interpretation.
4. Invite all the bunnies you know.

LA Marathon Zombie Stop
(facebook event link) (@heathervescent)

Sponsored in part by Zombies without Borders, the LA Marathon goes through Hollywood and let's make it weird! The LA Marathon is Sunday. Why is everyone running? Zombies of Course! We are the zombies.

--->March 21: Sunday: LA Marathon Zombie Run: 10:30am~2 Mile 12: Gardner &Sunset in West Hollywood Bring cocktails, twinkies, beer, lounge chairs, wear zombie attire

RSVP privately for complimentary zombie makeup time/location nearby. This is an official LA Cacophony Event. Support your local Cacophonistas and be one yourself.

Energy Cornfield

I've been doing a lot of thinking about green energy and environmentalism. I hate to admit it, but when someone starts talking to me about green business, sustainability or green energy, my eyes glaze over and I stop considering them a serious individual (with a few very rare exceptions for a few of my extraordinary friends). The whole green energy/conservationism/savetheworldbandwagon makes me sick. It's hard for me to see it as something other than a bunch of white $$shame trying to save the world but only from their worldview/valueset.

I've felt very conflicted (and wrong and bad) about this attitude, wondering if I'm anti-conservation/green? Maybe it's just my contrarian tendencies. Is it about control? (I don't want anyone telling me how or where I should get my energy or how to use it, thank you very much.) But here's the thing - I actually think conservation and reducing energy use is the exact opposite direction that we as a human species should be going.

It hit me this week. Energy conservation and the development of solar and wind energies is akin to caloric restriction. Sure, it has been scientifically proven to help you live longer, but you certainly can't be a body builder on it. Nor can you express your human potential on it. (Unless that is living long enough for the Singularity - a noble cause in it's own, but one I care not to achieve.) Sure solar and wind will give us some energy, but they just help us put off dealing with peak oil. The amount of energy in oil is so highly concentrated and it is so easily chemically manipulated. We are not going to stop using oil and coal before we use them up no matter how much solar, wind and bio-fuel energies are available.

Based on my studying and my gut feelings, it is CRITICAL that we have excessive amounts of free/cheap energy to evolve to the next level. It is the difference between hunter/gatherer existence, and the Iowas cornfields I drove through this afternoon. With excessive amounts cheap energy many many things will become possible and be invented that can not possibly exist today.

It is the difference between an outdoor cooking fire and the electric plug in your wall that your electronic device "breathes" from.

I'm not saying we shouldn't develop wind, solar or vegetable based energy: we should, but I do not believe that these methods of energy capture/harnessing will be the difference between the metaphorical hunter/gatherer and cornfields of Iowa. Those energy models will merely maintain the existing paradigm. (And they will only prolong our dealing with peak oil. We're gonna use all the oil in this earth sooner or later.) Which is fine, but not something I am particular interested in. I'm focused on blowing past our current place in time/space/culture/history (not maintaining it) and creating the path to the future.

Analogies:

• Caloric Restriction is to Solar/Wind/Bio Energy as Best Life Possible is to Human evolution/paradigm shift
• Fire is to Hunter/Gatherer as Electricity is to Agriculture as Cheap usable Energy is to the next human paradigm shift (space? singularity?)
• Solar/wind energy is to aspirin as Energy is to broken arm

Ps. Lainie, Evoamo, Hippy Steve - forgive me for this post. I still love you all and your greening ways!

Tracking Vectors

An astute observation about launching innovative technology from last month's NYTimes article on the ipad. When launching a product, innovative technology or novel concept, timing isn't everything; but it can be the difference between you personally having success with that technology - and someone else with different (later) timing. Its one of the things that feels so unfair in new technology: that the earliest adopters, the earliest users, evangelists and sometimes even the original creators & inventors do not get the monetary or fame that goes along with the breaking innovation.

Timing is essential to make such big steps ahead. Carver Mead, a leading computer scientist at the California Institute of Technology, once said, “Listen to the technology; find out what it’s telling you.”

Mr. Jobs is undeniably a gifted marketer and showman, but he is also a skilled listener to the technology. He calls this “tracking vectors in technology over time,” to judge when an intriguing innovation is ready for the marketplace. Technical progress, affordable pricing and consumer demand all must jell to produce a blockbuster product.

This is something I have watched happen many times, and it is a well known phenomenon in some VC funding and technology circles. It's the difference between financial success (and the ability to fund later innovative ventures) and (for me) feelings of failing the technology. (In the end though, the technology will make it to the mainstream, through a meandering and strange path, possibly obscure.)

As I work on my Masters in Technology/Future Forecasting, these trends are something I am watching like a hawk. I want to understand and predict/forecast when society is primed and the time is right for launching these technologies. I know these answers in my gut, but gut is not empirical evidence.

Ignite Returns to Los Angeles: March 1

IgniteLA is back in LA after a short hiatus. I helped launch Ignite in Los Angeles last year with Dan Gould, the local wrangler, Brady Forrest from O'Reilly and Matt Forrest, (yes they are related) at Social Animal.

Starting Monday, March 1st, we in Los Angeles are kicking off Global Ignite week. That means cities across the world will host local Ignites. We have a great lineup of speakers here in Los Angeles. But first, the details:

• Monday March, 1st, starts at 7pm until 9pm
• Location: Cinespace in Hollywood (1st 50 folks who registered (and show up first) get free valet), 6356 Hollywood Boulevard, Los Angeles, CA 90028 (map)
• Tickets are Free, but please register.
• On Twitter: @ignite2la
  
• Ignite LA Facebook Group
  

And now, our wonderful speakers (in no particular order):

• Karen North, USC, Social Media
• Eric Gradman: Through the Cloudmirror
• Adam Sadowsky: OK Go & the Grand Machine
• Mike Flynn: Something really cool
• Chad Catacchio: How Crisis Commons is Helping Haiti & Chile
• Sasha Chock: Something really neat
• Kasey McMahon: Breaking the Mold: Pattern Recognition, Art and Nanobot Housecleaning Services
  
• Lisa Remmington: Social action through film
• Sekou Andrews: Spoken Word
• Dena Plotkin: Working with difficult people
• Kurt Daradics: Something cyborgy
• Jenny Funkmeyer: Remote Viewing
• Chris Spurgeon: Mapping India: A True Tale of Balls-out 18th Century Science. With Tigers.
  

Note: If you are any of the above speakers, contact me to add your bio and link to your site.

Ignite2LA is organized by Dan Gould (@dgould), Michael Liskin (@rhetor), moi, Heathervescent  (@Heathervescent), and Matt Forrest.

It is co-sponsored by USC's Annenberg Program on Online Communities (@APOCusc) and Social Animal who are graciously managing production--and will put the talks on the YouTube.

Ignite was started by Brady Forrest at O'Reilly. This event is part of Global Ignite Week, March 1-5. As part of Global Ignite Week, there will be Ignite events on six continents in 60 Cities with 600 Talks, encompassing 10,000+ Igniters.

Black n White Tights

Black n White Tights
Originally uploaded by heathervescent

Another pair of my current fav tights.

Classic

IMG_2384
Originally uploaded by Marino

That's moi, wearing Travis' classic wool-mink coat with two guys who totally inspire me.

Tights

IMG_2331
Originally uploaded by Marino

I'm king of into crazy tights these days.

Suicide Girls Radio

I'm spending a little studio time with the Suicide Girls Radio team tonight and joining them on their show about Social Media and the Internet Premier of We Live In Public (you might remember this as one of the films I was obsessed with last year).

I'm bringing some of my favorite mash-ups to play along with my radio wit and social media delight.

Be sure to tune in on Indie 103 Internet Radio! And if you missed it, grab the podcast here!

What does the World Want?

Do you know what the world wants?

How about the earth?

How about the United States? What are our goals as a nation?

I've been thinking about these things since I started my first grad class, World Futures. People have so many assumptions about what they think is right or correct or the way to do things. Today I read an article about biofuels that posited that increased focus on biofuels would increase poverty and hunger.

The only reason global warming is a problem is because it might be a problem for humans. It might make the earth not optimal for the human race (and possibly a bunch of other animals). But in the scheme of the universe, does this really matter?  I mean, what does the earth want?

Let's assume that the earth wants life on and around it. If that's that case, then it really doesn't matter in the long run whether or not an animal (human, plants, etc) is extinct now or later. Everything dies. The human race will cease to exist at some point in the future. Life will continue. But what kind of life does the earth want? What kind of intelligent life (if any)?

I often think about pollution and destruction of the environment in the same frame of mind as ingesting drugs or other "poisonous" items. To much drugs of any kind can often kill you, or do irreversible damage. That sucks for the person who damaged themself, but if they survive, they will still live, still have experiences, life. Life wins. If they kill themselves by drug usage, well then, their life transforms and lives on another way - sometimes that energy lives on in their stories.

Recently I have become obsessed with economics and have started reading copious quantities of financial reports and documentation. I started wondering, what is the goal of our nation - the United States. And I sadly could not identify any goal. It made me think that perhaps our past goals (set by our founding fathers) have been achieved, and we are in the state of confusion, waffling, figuring out where to go and what to do next. We've gotten our priorities confused, gotten bit by the hierarchy bug, forgotten our values, taken drugs.

This makes me very sad. And I wonder, is it possible (yes, of course the possibility it there, but how high the probability is it) for a country, a nation, to have goals?

And if a nation can, what about a world?

Tech Crunch and Women's Entrepreneurs

TechCrunch_WomenEntrep_Ling
Originally uploaded by heathervescent

It's not a new lament - where are the women leaders in technology companies? It is a problem - and it's certainly not helping serving up half naked women in lingerie ads on the same page.

Great Job Tech Crunch.

The Best of all Possible Worlds

"Things worked out. But because we made them work out. The best we could for the circumstances. Because we implement solutions, and in the best case, dreams."

Remembering

I just wanted to see if this still worked.

2010 Themes

Oh, it's going to be a year of burning. Burning Desire that is. I'm sitting here in my office, (which I hope I will not be sitting in next year) looking at my mindmap of goals for 2010. I've tried different techniques in the years I've blogged, chucking out the old for the fresh and new. This year, I'm returning to some tried and true, and mixing and mashing up my techniques.

You probably know by now, that I'm very goal focused. But sometimes goals are not what is needed. Being goal orientated can sometimes be too rigid. To not allow for the magic and spontaneity to express itself. To lose an opportunity because you ignore it. Goals fixate you. (And this is a double-edged sword.)

This year, I've got several mindsets I'm remembering, some very specific goals, some vague goals and stretch goals. I'll share one from each bucket.

Mental Mindsets: Yes, and...

Several years ago, I started a start-up company with an actor. He had interesting ways of thinking about things, and one thing I learned from him was this concept of "yes, and." I remembered learning it in an improv class. You see, when you're improving with someone, for it to be good, to flow, you have to accept what they have given you, and then take it from there. You can't deny what has been given to you, even if it's something utterly ridiculous. You say yes, and take it where you want to take it from there.

The Specifics: Throw a party at my desert property

On New Years Day, I visited my property in the desert. It's been through it's fair share of drama in the short time I owned it, so I have kept it fallow. This year, my simple goal, is to invite a select group of friends out to my land and break it in. It might be next month, it might be July, it might be October, but Heather is going to throw a raging desert party on land I own in 2010.

The Vague: Cultivate Relationships that Fulfill Me

I've done an inconsistent job of picking friends, colleagues and collaborators over the years. I've made a lot of great friends. I've done a lot of cool things. And I've got a past filled with long-term friends and collaborators, and those who did not make the cut. I want to cultivate more of those long-term friends. Friends who stick with you through the disagreements and bumps. Friends who put their own perspective aside. Friends who align with my vision, values, morals; and those that strategically oppose mine. Friends that challenge and engage. Friends I can grow and nurture.

The Stretch: Essays on the Future

Do I dare to expose a dear stretch goal on this open blog? Oh, why not. One of my stretch goals is to write an essay each quarter on some topic that vaguely has to do with the future. I do not see these essays as predictions, but rather topics that have been knocking around in my mind. There is a high probability that one or several of these essays may include wildcards and black swans.

And that, my readers, is a taste of what I'm shooting for 2010. Unlike other years, I am not publishing my full list. I have a few projects on it that shall remain secret until it is time for their unrevealing.

So, how about you, what are your mindsets, specific, vague and stretch goals for 2010?

Clothing-"optional" Swap

I am in need of something more powerful than the all-mighty Naked Lady Party. Returning from the open desert full of exploded propane tanks, burned out tired and ancient mine shafts (that entropy ate for lunch over the past 4 decades) I have decided I have too much stuff.

Add to that I prefer clothing swaps to garage sales and finding renewed life for my stuff in my friends house - I am having a massive "clothing-optional" swap.

What the ef is a clothing swap aka a Naked Lady Party?

It's where you go through your closet (all of them or even your house) and pull out the stuff you don't wear, don't want, thought you would wear, that stuff you will never fit into, that belt from an x-boyfriend, that bracelet from the x-friend who stabbed you in the back, those random shoes left at your house after your barely rememberable (although memorable) party last year.... etc.

You get it. The stuff that still have life in it, and someone to love it, but it's not you. Your love for it is dead. But, you're guilt-tripped by the eco-friendly world we live in and can't just throw it in the dumpster. And you could take it to the Salvation Army (or Out of the Closet or the Women's shelter) but, it's just been sitting in the trunk of your car for three weeks already.

Jeeze. I have a lot of baggage.

And it can be yours. I already have 6 bags of stuff, including some stupid books from the web 1.0 era (um, webeconomics anyone? Does anyone remember 1:1 marketing?), three sheets to the wind (and an amazing amount of flannel pillowcases, I can only imagine are from my bay area days that have not yet made it to the camping gear). Amazing beauty products that promise to turn you into a supermodel in 5 days (but I got bored of them after the first night). Random burning man costumes and true vintage 70s Polynesian dresses. Let's not even get started on my random box of electronics, wires, old phones, usb hello kitty dancing delight.

OK. So you may not be interested in any of this stuff. But in the small chance that you are interested, I will sell it to you for the amazing price of .... FREE. Just show up. I'll tell you a story about it and maybe you'll give it a new life. Or maybe you'll just take it to the desert and put it out of it's misery.

If you would like to add any of your stuff to the free swap, bring it - but be sure to take it home if no-one else does. (Or maybe we can organize a mass Out of the Closet run afterwards.)

The bottom line:
Optional: Bring shit to swap. (And bring a bag)
Required: Take something cool home!
Optional (but preferred): Bring a drink (cocktail or not) or snack to share.

Sunday, January 10th, 2010!

Ladies only until from 12-2.

Guys come on by after 2pm until about 4pm.

Details and RSVP here.

2009: A Narrative Review

What a wildcard year! A contrarian year. A year of Black Swans.

• Peru: mindblowing beautiful
• Lost wallet = 1000 miles at 100+mph
• Cancer
• Winners: Judge's Choice @ LeMons
• Utah: mindblowing beautiful #2
• Death
• Writing again
• Winners #2:
• Singularity U, financial fail
• Depression & Failure
• The Work
• Cancer begone
• Utah part 2: A roadtrip with pup and boyf
• A Return to work I love

Pretty much everything I planned, didn't happen. Stuff I didn't do, stuff that didn't happen. On some levels I felt like this year sucked, and I failed. It was one of the worst years where I returned to a low I had not visited since high school divorce/family drama days. On other levels, I realize this was a massive re-calibrating year. A transitional year. A year of challenges and adventures. Yeah, I hit new lows, but I've begun to return from them.

2009 started like most of my years, but it very quickly went veering off track into the unknown, last-minute extreme possibilities. At the end of January, I found myself with a lot of time on my hands, so after detoxing with my first master cleanse, I hopped a flight to Peru and had a mind blowing couple weeks. After returning to Los Angeles, (with a full blown customs sift through my bags in Toronto) I roadtripped to Texas for SXSW. But on that trip, a misplaced wallet in an isolated (no phones!) city in AZ led to a 1000+ mile 100+mph day. I arrived to the clusterfuck that was SXSWi, realizing that I could not stomach the inside circle jerking of what had become of the tech/social media community. I lost myself in the dark film rooms and found two gems: We Live in Public and Monsters from the ID.

I left SXSW with stories, ideas, plans to write a screenplay, make some music videos, etc. etc. I continued my roadtrip from the heart of Texas to the Heartland and then west, into the most gorgeous land in the US - Southern Utah. I felt re-invigorated, my faith restored - and then my mom was diagnosed with Cancer. And there was that drama. I steeled myself to say goodbye to her for good by the end of this year - by now. And after that, I couldn't take any job/work interview seriously. I actively sabotaged them - and it worked. I had no work.

I thought I wanted to be a scientist, and with the launch of Singularity University, I considered going back to school, although I could not wait to get out of it more than a decade ago. I worked hard, I thought I was a long-shot: I didn't expect to get in, I have no steller background in robotics or biotech.  (But I know what it takes to take an idea and make it real - something much more practical.) But my lack of funds stopped me there (although I got on the waitlist. I asked for a full scholarship.)

Ah, and then, I took a brief departure from the Heathervescent you know. I descended into failure. For several months. I felt betrayed by my work. By the people I enabled - those known and unknown. Of course, add a couple of real betrayals to the mix helps steep that. I took a free fall dive into the darkest places in my soul. And fuck you world, I was not coming out.

Until, I did decide it was time to come out. I can only take so much of my own dark night of the soul. I felt like a feeble fawn, re-entering the world. I was (and still am to some extent) shell-shocked and untrusting. Yes, 2009 was the year I lost my trust - in the world, in people: and only saw it in the beauty of nature and solitude and driving fast on empty roads.

But, hermit, I am not. 

I decided to try to get into a real Master's program on Future Forecasting at University of Houston (think - NASA Houston). To do so, I had to face a ridiculous, but deep seated fear: the standardized test. I failed this so miserably when in high school (having something to do with the divorce/family drama); afterwhich my failure led me to take an IQ test (which put me in the 95% bracket). Good for my intellectual pride, which I have since spent years convincing the world I have any. My recent standardized test scores now mirror the IQ ones from my teenage years. Vindicated!

Once I decided to come out of the dark pit of my soul hell, things turned around. I found (and convinced them to let me join them) a group of amazing entrepreneurial women. My mom had a miracle response (and still yet lives). And I returned to Utah with a pumped up truck, boyfriend and dog. My favorite highlight is when we got caught in a canyon in a flash thunder & lightening storm. My eyes could not hold the gorgeousness of the land. I sucked in the beauty like the desert in a rainstorm.

I returned to LA, intent on building a new business, but wildcard Craigslist delivered a surprisingly perfect opportunity. Cleverly disguised as a PM job, was exactly what I had been looking for: an opportunity to work with a company changing the paradigm of an industry. Even better, I had every skill in my toolkit to tactically and strategically do it.

What a crazy year. Crazy as in random. Massive fluctuations between high and low points. Super high points (peru, roadtrip, winning trophies), and super low points (cancer, SU, dark night of the soul).

Conjecture.

2009 was the wildcard year. After this year, I feel very intimate with wildcards. They have shown me both of their sides: the up and the down. The positive and the negative. I have had experience after experience of them: and have chosen how to respond to them: and I have responded with a variety of emotions/actions/responses: both re-active and respond-sive.

Writing this narrative recap, reminds me of my high school chemistry class. My teacher (who had received awards for her teaching) would make us do experiments prior to explaining the concept the experiment was supposed to prove. We'd come into class one day and the lab would be set up. She would tell us nothing, give us our lab books with the experiment recipe. We were supposed to figure it out. Write up our notes and observations. The next day, she would give a lecture explaining what it was we did, and why we should give a shit about it.

Thinking about 2009 that way, it was my lab in Wildcards.

It's perfect timing actually, because my "academic" area of study is in wildcards and paradigm shifts.

Santacon 2009, Remembering Cacophony

I heard of Cacophony Society in 1996 when I had just moved to the bay area from the pure cornfields of Iowa. I think it was Karen Marcelo who convinced me to show up at Tommy's Joynt on Geary back then on a rainy night in SF.

I was introduced to a whole new world of interpretation, absurdity, possibilities. Things and people that made perfect sense to me, although I had never met them, heard about them. I spent many an anonymous night in Cell space, I kept to myself, participating in the cacophony, but not leading. Not knowing I passed among myths of men.

Years later, after burning out of my corporate life, I move to Los Angeles. Los Angeles was a myth to me. It was where the true cacophony lived. Where the mythical Reverend took LA Cacophony to new levels - never seen, nor experienced in NorCal. But I arrived to the desert that is the LA Basin. LA Cacophony had self-destructed. Annihilated. It was a post-cacophony world. Only a few fragments of it's former glory remained: the LA Marathon Stop and Santacon.

This year, I have tried to bring Santacon back to the roots, the essence I experienced, remembered from my early bay area days. I have listened to the landscape of Los Angeles, to the swakings of cacophony, difficult to distinguish from the trappings of web 2.0 social media I am so awesome marketing.

Cacophony is open to anyone. You do not have to be an old skooler, hacker, jaded distinguished individual: you only need to buck the system. The system however, has arrogated many of the original ideas and inspirations of cacophony into claptrap marketing. It's time to take it back. It's time to return to the roots of cacophony.

And that is exactly what Santacon Los Angeles 2009 is attempting to do. Or rather, what I would like to see it do.

- Reposted from my FB

How I Read a Novel

Open the book to the last page. Skim quickly to find the beginning of the last sentence, or sometimes paragraph, or set of paragraphs. Read until the end. Flip to the first page. Begin reading.

Yes, I am one of those people who read the end of the book first. I do this to challenge the material. One criteria of a good writer/novel, is the ability to tell the story - the unfolding. So that even if the reader knows the end of the story, it doesn't click into place until read in the proper order. Then when you come to the end (which you are already familiar with) it means something different. Before, when you had read it out of context it meant something, and later, when you read it the order in which the creator expected it to be experienced, it means something different.

The Epoch is Dead. Long live the Epoch!

I glanced at the most recent Nature magazine when the sleep deprived self wandered downstairs at 5am this morning pondering coffee. The cover had some picture and article about Neuroscience and in a flash, I knew - we are living in a different time.

Later, I was reviewing discovers, explorers and adventurers of the past, only to turn it on its head and think, who are the people that in the future will be in these slots. The people alive today. The Lewis and Clark and Pizarro and Cortez? The theme back then was expansion by discovery and conquering native races. The concept of a "new" world back then was mind-blowing.

One area I think in hindsight will be seen as massive turning points in the evolution of human/ity is the current research being done in neuroscience. The understanding of the brain. fMRI is the camera that allows a window into the electric brain activities. The work and research (and knowledge and paradigm shifts) are in the tinest of baby steps and I believe will explode exponentially within my lifetime and beyond.

Another area I believe will in retrospect be huge is the exploration of space and our local solar system. This area of exploration is in some ways similar to the adventurers I mentioned. Who will Richard Branson be in hindsight? What about Peter Diamandis? Not to mention the many technical geni at work on the many projects. How can you not compare NASA/JPL to the Portuguese Crown?

Thinking about the future by thinking about the past. Compare and extrapolate. 

Attitudes are changing, have changed. What was once closed and secret is open, leaning toward transparency, collaboration. The veils are being lifted and we are forever ushered into a new epoch. The world as we knew it has transformed. Changed. And we have done it.

Funny Study Tip

WHILE there is a next sentence to read, DO:
  BEGIN (* while *)
    Read it, SLOWLY;
    IF you do not understand it, THEN
      BEGIN (* if *)
        re-read the previous material, SLOWLY;
        re-read the incomprehensible sentence, SLOWLY;
        IF you still don't understand it, THEN
           ask a fellow student to explain it;
        IF you still don't understand it, THEN
           ask your Teaching Assistant (TA) to explain it;
        IF you still don't understand it, THEN
           ask me;
        IF you are in an upper-level course & you still don't understand it, THEN
           write a paper about it (!)
      END (* if *)
END; (* while *)

From here. Since I am refreshing my memory of over 1000 vocabulary words and other miscellaneous crap that I won't need to forecast the future.

Container Gardening

This spring and summer I started my first experiments in container gardening. I had ambitious plans, I wanted a vertical wall of edible greenery and containers brimming with deliciousness. Well, it didn't work out exactly the way I envisioned it, but I still had a good time.

The Good

1. Fruit Trees: I bought two somewhat mature trees: an avocado and a meyer lemon. After the summer, the lemon is doing really great with lots of fat green lemons ready for a winter harvest. The avocado tree is doing less well. I believe it got too hot and it's leaves turned brown and started dropping. I started giving it more water, then moved it to partial shade and then full shade/dappled sunlight. It seems to be doing better, but no fruit. I'll focus on this a bit more next season.

2. Strawberry Pot: My aunt gave me a couple of her old strawberry pots and I stuffed them full of strawberry plants. These have done really well. At first they produced good fruit, but then slowed down. Although there are 8 plants in the pot, I never got enough strawberries at any one time to eat a bowl of them. I'll add another couple strawberry pots next round.

3. Herbs: I put together several mixed herb pots in large containers. These are doing significantly better than herbs in their own pots. I did a massive culling at the end of summer and dried my own herbs and actually use them in my cooking. I mixed herbs with other flowers in some pots. For some reason, the large containers with various plants seem to do the best. Maybe because it takes more time to dry out.

I've always wanted to grow mint, but as easy as everyone tells me it is, I have not had good luck. Mine always seems to dry out - I guess it's too hot. I've got a new mint pot going with two types of mint. I hope it flourishes. I originally planted a lot of herbs with my avocado tree, but as it was not doing so well, I moved these to other pots. The next time I do more gardening, I will clear out the additional herbs. Here's a list of some of my pots.

• Herb Pot 1: Variegated Sage, Rosemary, Thyme, Oregano
• Herb Pot 2: Basil (about 6 plants)
• Herb Pot 3: Variegated Sage
• Herb Pot 4: Mint (2 varieties)
• Mixed Pot: Regular Sage, Lambs Ear, Potato Flower
• Mixed Pot: Avocado Tree, Parsley, Lemon Balm, other plants

4. The Rose: I am not usually a fan of rosebushes, but I have a few favorites. I found one of them - a dusty purple rose with an amazing fragrance in Alice in Wonderland rose bush formation (you know with the long stem and the bunch of roses on the top.) This did great for several months after I got it and I have watched it go through growing the stems, flowers, death and then silent for a while. We're in a silent period right now and I'd love to learn how to make it produce more and more often. I want to move my parsley into the base of this pot because I heard it is supposed to make the blooms smell more intensely.

The Bad

1. Tomatoes: I have only recently become a tomato fan and my past experiments with growing tomatoes have not been that great. The biggest problem: my tomatoes always seem to attract aphids. This year, I was doing fine - I had some nice tomato starter plants from my aunt. I filled up 20 gallon pots with dirt and was planning to grown them in those.

They started out pretty good for the most part - and then one plant started turning brown. It took me too long to realize what was going on and by then several other of my plants were infested. I tried natural remedies for a bit (that listerine, dish soap, water mix) with no luck and then went straight to the pesticides - which worked, but did not kill everything. I eventually gave up on the tomatoes and threw them all out. The few tomatoes I did get, were not edible anyway. Better luck next time....

2. The Sun: One of the good things about container gardening, is that you can move the pots around depending on the time of year and location of the sun. I have a large back area poured with concrete between several buildings, so I get inconsistent light (both direct and indirect). And it really changes depending on the time of the year.

This summer was really hot - and even though I moved the pots to shady areas, they still suffered. In the hottest weather I would water every day - sometimes twice a day - and I still lost plants. I wanted to set up a drip irrigation system, but it seemed too difficult - especially in my rental. It only made me dream for the day when I have my own bit of earth.

The Ugly

1. Pests: I had completely forgotten about pests and they really got away with literal murder on my container garden. Aphids were my bane - not only on the tomatoes, but they decimated two hanging pots of flowers. Then I had this ninja pest that would eat holes in my sage, basil and other plants. At first I thought I had snails and went on the hunt - but there were no snail trail tell-tales. One morning while watering my garden a huge grasshopper jumped out of my ferns. It was bigger than my index finger. I knew he was the culprit. I chased him down the driveway and into the street and things got much better.

2. Too Much: I was very excited to get started on the container gardening so I went overboard and got a lot of plants. It didn't help much that my aunt (who is very into gardening too) took me out to the growers and we got tiny plants direct from the wholesalers for tiny amounts of money. I got home and went on a marathon potting session, but still barely made a dent in my many plants. Eventually many of them died. I felt bad about that because I hate seeing things die - especially plants that if I was a better tender (or planner) would not have. (Well, they were also slated for the mulcher back at the wholesaler, so I guess in some way I rescued them.)

All in all, I am ok with my container gardening experiment this summer. My main reason for beginning on this was to grow some food to eat - I failed in that. I do plan to try again. I'd really like to do potatoes, carrots, garlic, onions, tomatoes, red pepper, green beans, cucember and greens (lettaces, spinach and chard). I'll pick a few of those to try for the winter.

But really, I dream of this little bit of earth - maybe it's a backyard in LA, maybe it's a small acreage just outside of LA, where I can have chickens, a few goats and a garden with fruit and nut trees. And a lilac bush or two. That's what I really want.

After the Burn

I had convinced the CHP to let me through the checkpoint. I had a badly printed letter from my friends Zarka and Jane and was headed into the burned forest for a sandbagging party. I had forgotten to double check their address, confident I knew the place. I was wrong.

Something like respect made me drive these twisty mountain roads at a snail's pace of 30 miles per hour. I sipped my coffee and took in the view. Ash. Grey. Black and Burned. Clouds and Mountains. The overcast sky parted to show jagged bare mountains. A ridgline with a few black skeletons - remains of the pines. I felt like I was entering a Chinese Martial Arts Epic. My own Rashomon. Or Samuri Champlu. The mountains were alternately covered in bare black limbs and untouched trees, bushes and brush. I understood the fire. How it had moved from place to place. Traveled up and down these mountains. How some places were decimated, while others lush and green. I understood the chance of surviving a fire. (Retreat into the earth.)

I passed the turnoff to Tujunga and pulled over at what looked like the spot. The gate was locked, the sign burned. I began to hike down the locked road. Before I got far, the Sheriff stopped by my car. I paused to catch my breath after running up the hill. He questioned me with a look of amusement, "How did you get in here?!"

I explained it to him satisfactarily and we went our ways. Me, back down into burned brush. At the bottom of the mountain, I heard a stream; blue birds flitted from tree to black branched tree. Grey ground squirrels rustled in the leaves. The trees in the picnic area looked untouched. It was a similar place, but not the place I was supposed to be. I hiked back up the hill, got in my car and continuned to drive.

I passed the road to Mt Wilson and briefly thought of detouring to visit one of my favorite places in LA. I last saw it on helicopter webcams. But I drove almost all the way to the ski areas before turning around and finding a forest ranger. I could not get there from here. The roads were closed. Impassable. I had to backtrack. I left my respectable 30 mph right then.

--

The fire destruction could not have been more different. All was black and ash. The possibility for pockets of green life survival was almost zero. I saw stone foundations and fireplaces standing in squares. Black twisted metal. I scanned the hillside for the house I knew was still standing and forced my city tires to pull me up the dirt, ash and boulder filled driveway.

To my surprise, there was green everywhere. Small shoots coming out of the grown. Fresh green leaves and brown branches off the oaks. I followed Zarka back into the gorge to get to work. He showed me the spring and we stacked branches around the pipes - hoping they would delay the sharp rocks that ineviteably would slide down and break them.

I worked in silence. Dragging the huge branches and putting them in place. I enjoyed being alone. Truly alone - no electronic devices whirring in my pocket. I heard rocks falling at the back of the gorge. A drawn out tumble. I noticed the thick bark - charred black - that protected the nearby tree. It was at least 1/4 inch thick and peeling off like sunburned skin. Walking back to the house, I came across the charred remains of a fox. I could see still her tongue between her teeth, a huge hole in her skull - brain exploded from the heat.

During a break, we gathered on the wood deck for food. Out came huge plates of steaming chicken and homemade apple honey mead. I was amazed that this huge wood deck had been untouched when entire wood structures were gone. Such is the power of fire retardant paint. Technology.

Before I left, we convinced Jane to sing us her new songs. She sat down to her piano and we crammed in the small doorways. Her voice was clear and hung in the air. She sang about the fire. I couldn't help to imagine, to see her voice, her song clear and pure contrasted with the chaos of the fire. It was if her song, while singing the beauty, respect and destruction of the fire, kept it at bay. Kept the flames burning in a circle around her untouched house.

The First Fight

Note: This blog post is cross-posted from The Work 101 Blog.

I’ve had a few reservations about the work since I joined the group in July.  I always move towards collaborative working relationships,  however not all of them have turned out great. In fact, several of my  recent past collaborative relationships have ended on bad terms.  I’ve had a fear that this may happen with the work group and have been holding my breath, wondering how long until there is a defining divisive fight; hoping it will never happen. I’ve spent the morning talking with one of my collaborators, Kaye, about this fear and something she said made me positively reframe it.

“One of the reasons I keep coming back to the work, is because of the fights and how we resolve them. Trusting that even when we have fights, that they will get resolved, and get resolved in a way that makes us stronger.” The first fight is critical because you directly experience how someone fights. And what is a fight anyway? An emotionally heated disagreement. How do you resolve the differences and move beyond them? These resolved “fights” become part of the collaboration.  An experience of how others work with each other when they have differing points of view.

Everyone has different perspectives, experiences and objectives. When working collaboratively, there are times when you will disagree with others. In one recent work session, I found myself both agreeing and disagreeing with my collaborators – sometimes at the same time with different topics. As my collaborators spoke, I saw their perspectives.

I found myself aligned with what one said, and saw I wasn’t in the same place as another.  There was no problem in that.  We all worked together to create what each of us needed. It’s not about being right or a particular person being in charge – it’s about working together to create what we jointly want to create.  Collaborative work creates the space for disagreements with respect.

I realized I had nothing to worry. My “first fight” with my work101 collaborators was months ago.  We have already moved beyond those disagreements leaving only the space for our collaborative work.

Heathervescent

Practical Futurist, Co-Creator of theWork101

www.heathervescent.com

Friends

I remember when I had friends that didn't try to sell me anything. They didn't promote anything. They didn't make me buy tickets to their parties. I wasn't a target market. They didn't want to teach me anything. There weren't photos on the web. Everything wasn't marketed.

What happened to that time? What happened to my "friends"?

Personal Branding and Audience Development Worksheet

I've become a recent devotee of Mindjet's Mindmapping software. It is a great tool for creating order from amorphous ideas in your head. I'm in the process of creating several templates based on my dozen plus years working in the Internet industry and my methods for getting things done and creating your dream life. I'm getting ready to release my first template, but first, I'd love some feedback.

Introducing: The Personal Branding and Audience Development Worksheet

This worksheet outlines key areas to focus on, with specific questions aimed at creating a personal brand - and then building your audience based on it. It will be released as a Mindjet Mindmanager template in the very near future. 

I am no longer offering this worksheet as a free download. However you may purchase the worksheet for the mere price of $5. If you find no value from my years of experience in document form, I am happy to refund you the amount, less transaction fees. Wuffie doesn't pay the taxman. :)

Personal Productization and Audience Development Worksheet, pdf file. $5 USD.

Please do give me feedback via twitter @heathervescent or via email blog at heathervescent dot com (or any other email address you have for me).

Thanks!

Connected Circle

Yesterday morning I was working in the community garden and the big chore was to deal with the compost pile. If you don't know what a compost pile is, it's a big pile of decaying green plant matter. Once decayed this material is rich with nutrients and added back to the garden to enrich the soil.

In this community garden composting is very strict, and only desirable vegetable matter can be composted - that means no weeds, plastic, strings, etc. Well, as you can guess, not everyone follows the rules. So the job this morning was to sort through the compost pile and remove the weeds, plastic and trash. In addition, long pieces of plants (like corn-stalks, tomato plants and rosemary bushes) must be chopped down into small pieces.

An initial thought passed through my mind when I heard about our job: WTF!? I am going to have to sift through a pile of decaying and rotting plants for needles in the haystack?! But, I realized, it did no good to have judgment about the disgustingness of the job, so I put it away and got to work. It was a difficult job - one that could not be done quickly, if done well. I decided to practice impeccability and sift the weeds from the rest of the plants. I was not the only one doing this - we had a whole team, sifting, sorting and chopping with huge machetes. I took a pitchfork and began the seemingly enormous task of dissecting the pile. It helped that another women was doing this in tandem with me. I can identify plenty of plants in life - but in their death - it's quite hard to tell the difference sometimes between fennel, cornsilk and dried grass.

The reason we had to take the weeds out, was because our compost doesn't get hot enough to kill the weed seeds. So when the compose is returned to the soil, you'll get weeds back in your garden. As I worked, it seemed to me this was an analogy. Inside ourselves are weeds (and weed seeds). And try as we might to uproot them, we are not always successful. Even in death we keep our weed seeds, pass them on.

Later I took a job chopping down the long plant matter. I sat on a low bench with a long machete and on a level stump of wood chopped down corn stalks, fennel stalks, rosemary bushes and tall flower stalks. Plant matter decayed faster when it was chopped. I realized that although these plants were dead, the energy in them was not gone. They needed help to decay faster so that they could rise again in the soil.

As I chopped, I learned about/from the plants. I recognized the misgrown corns, the infected squashes, plants in various levels of wet decaying. The pile grew smaller. I became more successful in pulling out the weeds, the pieces of string around dead tomato plants. I did not feel pity for the plants. I knew they would be back. I was detached in my work. I knew I had to help them return to what they were, before they could be something new.

Non-Technological Mornings

I used to run to the computer when I awoke. There were emails to read, blog posts to write. I needed to check into my vibrant world and see what was happening. The morning would turn to noon and although I felt connected and educated, I hadn't necessarily got anything done. I was left with an emptiness. A crave for a sustainable intimate connection. Not the quick fix email/blog comment/twitter high.

These days, when I awake, I jump downstairs, put the kettle on and make a cup of coffee in my single drip Melita cone. I open the patio door and step outside; feel the breeze on my bare skin, smell the morning moistness, take in the colors and textures of my many plants. Coffee in hand, I sit in my favorite chair and drink in this moment of silence and calm, connected to my surroundings. Even the pup sniffs the air, watches the wind in the leaves and lays quietly on the patio rug.

Until it's time for the walk! We jump up and walk out into our neighborhood. We have friends along the walk. Romeo has his favorite bushes, and I my favorite trees. We admire the yardwork and landscaping, the fences and hedgerows. In our eight block sojourn we sometimes meet what I call my dogwalk friends, although we have never officially met. I love the retired Russian men and women who wait for the van to their cool community center. I say hello and smile to them. There are a few people with whom I have cultivated regular morning greetings. It took a few weeks of me saying "Good Morning" before I got a mumbled response. Now when we see each other - I with my trotting pup and he slowly making his way down the sidewalk with his walker we both say a cheerful "Good Morning". It's fun to have people to greet, even though I don't know their names. We share these same blocks, so why not be civil and friendly?

I could write about the firemen who jog in the street. The new grass mulching. The road repair work. The crazy plant house, the night blooming Brugmansia, the house re-landscaping to california native plants. These are my mornings. These are how I fill my senses and feed my soul before sitting down to technology.

I come to the computer already connected to my world, instead of looking to connect.

An Old Friend

There has been some interesting things happening in the recent month. I've been keeping quiet about them, because they have been pretty fragile. Well, they still are, but I feel pretty good about them, I thought I might finally mention them on the ole' public blog.

It's got a lot to do with healing the wounds of the recent past. I had isolated myself part of last year and much of this because I had felt betrayed by some close people. Not just one person, but several. I rarely get stabbed in the heart by strangers, but mostly by those close to me. In the last year, I have experience three separate incidents.

All of them were dark, unexpected, self-important. Definitely not what I would have expected. I did what I had to do to move through them and go on with my life. I'm no victim, but I didn't feel good putting myself out there and instead isolated myself. This was not such a good thing - as even introverts need people.

Anyway, some situations have come into my life that are helping a total healing of these three knife stabs. One in the form of an old friend (well not so old - one that was very much on the blog a few years ago) and another in a new group of supporters - perfectly matching my dream if I had dared to dream of them. 

It's scary to tread on these areas that throw up warning flags left and right, but I step carefully and breathe calmly trusting myself and slowly I trust little by little. It feels good to be back on that ground, although shaky, after all.

On Thanking

I'd describe 2009 as the year of the dark cloud with the silver lining. It feels like there has been lots of disappointments and little success. But for each dark cloud - I have focused on the silver lining. I am thankful for these silver linings

1. Mom Kicking Cancer. She was diagnosed with a really bad cancer earlier this year. We thought she might have only a year to live - but she's actively kicking cancer's ass. yay for mom.
2. The Best Boyfriend in the World. I can't even begin to talk about how awesome the boyf is. I'm very thankful for him.
3. Traveling. My flexible schedule (aka lots of free time) have made it possible for me to visit my grandparents, my dad, my mom and visit Anna in Peru. It's important to connect with people in person.
4. Friends. I know a lot of people, but I let few into my heart. When I think of those close to me, I am amazed by them. I need to remember there are more good people in the world and there are lots of people I could be better, closer friends with.
5. My Pup. A good dog is better than all the people in the world. I've just learned this dog-owner fact.
6. My Body. Although I could lose a few pounds, I am in great shape and I've never (knock on wood) had any major health problems. I'm happy with my mind, my intelligence and what I create using all my cells.
7. My clean carpet and my nice house. It's come a long way from the bachelor pad of 3 years ago. My home always must be my favorite place in the world and it is.
8. My container garden. I was not to be stopped by having no backyard to plant in - I took over the driveway and created a flourishing garden with trees, roses, flowers and herbs in containers.
9. My newfound excitement in science and future studies. I've always been a predictor - seen and created the future. The only people I knew who did that were crazy sibyls not using scientific methods - that is, until I found out about future forecasting based on science methods. I know this study is something I wish to pursue.

With every disappointment, I find a silver lining. I find something to learn. Some way to improve myself. A new perspective. Because I believe everything happens for a reason - just sometimes you don't know what that reason is.

A Whole Vacant Lot

I love a metaphor. Usually when you tell someone you love them it's full of flourishes, flowers and bits from the heart. Gushy, soft musings. Full of metaphor and comparisons.

I was reminded of a metaphor I used to tell my dad how I loved him. I would always say, I love you a whole vacant lot. Why? Because that was the biggest thing I could think of. Today, I still remember the original vacant lot, and it still makes perfect sense. However, I can understand why you might be confused, that's just how my brain works.

Photo by Steve Vance via Flickr.

Imagine all that filled with love. That's the metaphor.

Musings On Television and Media

Seeing We Live in Public a second time has brought up a wash of TV memories. If you've caught me in a belligerent mood at a party you know my two favorite things to faux-brag about are my unbelievable introversion (everyone just sees me in extrovert mode) and the fact I haven't owned a TV for 15 years.

I have a deep hatred and aversion to television and the content and media produced and distributed on/with it. Of course, there's a much longer story to this. You can't hate something, unless you've loved it.

I don't believe I consumed more TV than average - probably less. I spent much of my prime TV watching years in Iowa - where we were lucky to have 3 or 4 channels. But I did spend loads of time from when I was 10 until 14 consuming television - many hours every day. Prior to then, it was cartoons and nature programs. A few Harryhausen stop animation and fantasy films. Around that time TV networks and cable really took off. I remember when Nickelodeon was launched and when MTV used to play music videos. (I still remember seeing Axel Rose crooning and swooning about his sweet child.) I'm a gourmet cook and can whip up the most complicated dish with only a few sips from the Joy of Cooking. That comes from my years of watching Jeff Smith's Frugal Gourmet. I had perfected chocolate souffle when I was 13. My absolute favorite show was You Can't do that on Television. Even then, I was attracted to the interrupters. It was horrible Canadian Television with lots of green slime. But better than anything created in the US.

Shortly after that time though, something shifted. It was about the time I discovered philosophy and decided I wanted to be in control of who I became, not shaped by the world around me. At that time, I became selective of the media I consumed. Already I started the long and tedious process of re/unwiring my programming. Of course, first you have to realize what your programming is. There was also the added challenge of being an adolescent girl of divorced parents living on her own.

I didn't say goodbye to the tube until college. Of course, I just switched drugs - preferring the interactive black and green BBS chatrooms and limited 5 line profiles to passively watching programming. When 12 baud dial-up was unbearable I saved up the money from my art modeling gig to buy a 28 baud modem and installed it myself. I briefly had a boyfriend who studied in the broadcasting and TV group and one late night conversation led me to the realization that those who create the media do not consume it. You couldn't. You had to be beyond it. That's when the nail went in my TVs coffin. I wish I could say I took my 13 inch out to the backyard and introduced it to my sledgehammer or used it as target practice - but I wasn't into guns and violence at that time. I merely sold it.

That was 15 years ago. Since then, my TV interactions have been few and far between. I never bought another one, although for about a year, I rescued a huge push channel, big box TV from the street and left it on my Berkeley front porch pointed out to the street with the "snow channel".  It was some form of art or rebellion or commentary on something deeply philosophical I forget about now.

The television is very powerful - because it programs you. The internet is the same. The media may be different, but the activity it does is the same. You watch, you learn. Mirror neurons. Creating and building neural pathways. You become/evolve what you surround yourself with. Television isn't in my trusted network.

Science Digest #2

The Second installation of my Science Column on Suicide Girls is Live. In it, I talk about NASA TV, Magic, Kurzweil responds gracefully under fire and French Nature Films featuring Octupi and Vampires. Here's a snippet.

Seeing Is Not Always Believing
Research about our brain has exploded in the recent past. fMRI technology makes it relatively easy to study the brain while we do things. We’re beyond merely learning about our biological wiring; we’re learning what the electrical blips and bleeps might mean. I’m fascinated with perception and how our brains take sensory data and make a world of it. Did you know that your eyes perceives the world upside down? It’s our brains that turn the image of it right side up.

What profession loves to take advantage of our mis-attention and misperceptions? Put on your white gloves and get our your black hat. It’s Magic! A few months ago, Science News had a cover story about scientists who are picking up a few Neurological tricks from professional magicians. Using eye tracking technology, magician and neuroscientist Gustav Kuhn tested participants as they watched him throw and palm a ball. The eyes watched the ball – even when it was palmed. It was the brain that tricked the participant into believing differently. Wired covered the same topic with Teller from the duo Penn and Teller the same month. These stories reminded me of the “amazing color changing card trick,” that got me a few years ago. Watch the video below and try it yourself (and share what you see in the comments section).

Read the rest of the article (and comment too!)

My Kind of Girl Toy

"Underneath Heather's beautiful dress, is a tornado of power!" This is definitely a toy made in my image - except I'd have a silver metallic ballgown.

Feeling Philosophical

I am the ox that plows the fields, but I do not get to reap what is grown in them. I try to be satisfied in my role, but it makes me sad sometimes.

Then again, neither does the seed reap the benefit of what it becomes.

Dog eating a hotdog

DSC_4550
Originally uploaded by suprdave89

Romeo gets a hotdog on the Hotdog Death March.

A Letter from Francis Coppola

It is a dream come true to be able to make personal films and have them shown in great theatres such as Landmark's. Tetro is the kind of film I might have been making 35 years ago, had my career not taken an abrupt and sudden turn as it did with The Godfather. Sure, it was exhilarating to find myself an important Hollywood director, with all that came with it. But as the years went on, I found myself trying to avoid becoming a gangster film director, with all that came with that: stabbings, shootings, car crashes and strangulations. It became pretty clear that even if well-paid, a Hollywood director is expected to do what the company who employs him wants. And most times it is a genre film of some type, if not a gangster film, then take your choice between a thriller, a caper film, a romantic comedy (nothing wrong with that) or sci-fi epic (nor that). I found myself dissatisfied, and frustrated over the fact that even though I had made successful films and won plenty of awards, I still would have to go, hat in hand, and beg permission to make something really new.

With Apocalypse Now, I ultimately found I had to finance it myself. Financing movies is a perilous activity, especially when the films are as unusual as I wanted to make. At first Apocalypse Now seemed as if it would bury me—the initial reaction wasn't good, despite some acknowledged spectacular scenes, but it was deemed too philosophical or worse, 'arty'—which is the ultimate damning word that can be used on a film. Well, I thought, weren't most of Ingmar Bergman' or Michelangelo Antonioni's films 'arty but good'? As were the many films of Federico Fellini or Akira Kurosawa? Maybe those films weren't financial powerhouses, but they stayed with you and were inspirational. And also, they were all different from any other films being made. That in the end is my main criteria for enjoying a film: that I never saw it before or anything quite like it.

Many years went by.

Then, taking inspiration from my daughter who had learned the very same tricks from me, I decided to return to my youth, and realizing that the smaller the budget of a film the greater the ideas of that film could be, began to self-finance the very kinds of films I had hoped to make at the beginning. It was like trying to find my place, after being away a long time. I took a story from Mircea Eliade, Youth Without Youth. When it was done, I found the film audience had ventured even further away from anything other than the pre-made, pre-measured genre films that I had tried to escape from, and now wanted even their independent films to be mini-Hollywood ventures. No matter, I thought, the idea was to find myself and I had done that. Now, the next step was to pick up where I had left off, and write an original story and screenplay, something I hadn't done for 30 years since The Conversation.

The result is Tetro, which you are about to see soon at a Landmark theatre near you. I hope you will find it moving, as it is drawn from real emotions related to my experiences and life—though not in any way autobiographical. I hope you wish me well on this new career of mine. It was the one I always wanted from the beginning, to be an independent filmmaker, writing stories and making personal films. God knows what will come next!

Sincerely,
Francis Coppola

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This is the kind of director I want to be. These are the kind of films I want to make. Apocalypse Now is one of my all time favorite movies, along with another by Mr Fellini.