heathervescent

Fairfax Morning

I'm accelerating as I take the left turn onto Fairfax. I glance over and I notice the dog pressing and leaning into the passenger seat. He's learned to lean with my race car driving, even I take it down a notch when he's with me.

I shift up and put my foot down on the accelerator.

I decide to stop at Mani's for coffee. Then I look in the mirror. I've skipped applying make-up this morning in my rush to get into the office prior to our long engineering meetings. I think, darn, what is the fun in stopping in for coffee if I look like I just rolled out of bed. I think, if I lost 30 pounds, I would be mistaken for a star. And I remember, several years ago that was indeed the case.

However, I've got a long engineering meeting ahead of me and I need some nourishment lest I lose focus or get irritated. So I tell myself, if there is a spot immediately out front, I'll stop. There is. So I don my huge purple Versace shades (brand names just end up in your regular wardrobe after living in LA for a few years), put the car in neutral and slide into the spot. The pup is still chilling in the passenger seat. 

As I jump out, I notice a guy sitting at a sidewalk table. He stands out to me. Something about him shines. I'm feeling self conscious in Navy: boots dress, jacket, and fumble with my coins at the parking meter. It's so obvious he's checking me out, that he states the obvious aloud to me and his dog. I must be a whirlwind of energy. As I leave, I ponder dropping my business card, but I don't want to necessarily indicate I'm interested in him... too bad I don't have one of my purple tornado stickers with me.

* * *

I'm sitting at the traffic light, my hands folded in my lap like a buddha meditating. I am in some ways. My gaze softens, I take in the entire scene around me. The 99 cent truck trying to pull out into traffic. The white SUV in front of me. The black mazda sportscar to my front left. The orb is quietly pulsing on my stereo. The light turns and traffic moves. Without thinking my hand connects with my stick shifter, my left foot engages in a dance as I accelerate through the levels. I feel glazed wood under my hands. The woman who ordered my car opted for the luxury package and my dash, wheel and stick are walnut. I feel a soft lick. Pup's attention is on my hand. He knows where the action is and he wants to be in it.

Hbombtastic Events

I can't stop myself. I am compelled to create these spaces, these experiences. I hope you'll join me if you are into these same things.

• June 7: Ignite 3 in Los Angeles
• June 12-13: Humanity Plus Summit (ps. I'm speaking!)
• June 15: Geek Dinner REDUX @ Canters
• July 24: Save the Date for Xmas in July

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Ignite3

When: June 7, 7:30pm
Where: V Lounge (2020 Wilshire Boulevard, Santa Monica, CA 90403-5608)
What: 5 Minutes. 20 Slides. 15 Seconds per Slide.
Cost: Free
RSVP & Details

Speakers get only 5 minutes to give an amazing, inspiring talk. In LA, there are tons of different communities at the intersection of tech, academia, art, green/sustainability, entertainment, unique lifestyle design, entrepreneurship, digital/collaborative media, and social action that don't know each other but should. Think of Ignite as a set of trailers for exciting projects people are doing that you should know about.

LA Geek Dinner REDUX

The LA Geek Dinner returns for one night.

When: Tuesday, June 15, 2010, starting around 7:30pm
Where: Canters Deli, Mid-Town on Fairfax near Melrose
What: People who self-identify as geeks
Details

How does it work: Show up, order a drink, some food, be open and friendly, meet some new people, have some interesting conversations, eat some pastrami. It’s a chill scene. No uber networking, self-promotion or company promotion. Just be cool. We’re all friends you haven’t met yet. RSVP on our old friend Upcoming

XMAS in JULY: Santa Needs A Vacation

Save the date for Xmas in July: July 24th. Suggestion: Santa like red bikini's! Planning meeting soon.

The Caveman Picnic: Saturday May 8th

A couple years ago, when I was dressed as Santa and slightly inebriated at a bar in Silverlake, I was reminiscing how awesome the LA Brea Tar Pits were as an Icon of Los Angeles. And I wanted to throw an event there. But what would be the perfect event at bubbling vats of tar in the middle of LA? Why, a Caveman Picnic! Two years later, I'm finally getting around to organizing it. After careful consideration, I decided to move the picnic from the tar pits, to the Old Zoo in Griffith Park - which has actual "cave" enclosures which look straight out of a caveman film set. It's very cool.

So I invite you to come on out to the 1st Annual Caveman Picnic in Griffith Park this Saturday.

Noonish until 4 or so.

How to get to the old zoo picnic area? Park in either:
- Lot 2 for the Carousel
- Old Zoo Picnic area

Then walk a short while up the path to an open green with picnic tables and old zoo enclosures. I will try to put up signs in the old zoo picnic area.

I will have signs posted around the Old Zoo/Carousel 2 parking lot.

This is a BYO Everything/Pot-luck:
You may want to bring

• a folding chair,
• extra cups,
• ice,
• sangria,
• plates,
• trash bags,
• a blanket,
• hula-hoops,
• instruments,
• games,
• big foam clubs,
• extra caveman attire.

Unfortunately there are no BBQ grills allowed where we are picnicking.

If you have extra caveman attire, games, clubs, animal costume heads, a mammoth, etc, bring them.
Activities may include: club fights, hiking, riding the carousel, galavanting, scavenger hunt, mammoth hunt, etc. 

Prepare to take a trip back in time: pre-history Los Angeles, where Giant Sloths and Mammoth's better watch where they step otherwise they'll end up on display in a museum hundreds of years in the future.

Introducing the first annual Caveman Picnic. Wear your caveman or cavewoman finest and join us at the Griffith Park Old Zoo for an afternoon of froliking about caveman style. Roll out your fur blankets and bring that bucket of KFC. We'll reinvent the wheel and play some caveman games.

BYO Everything. Be discrete about your beverages.
No Stoves, BBQs, fire where we are picnicing

You can RSVP on Facebook if you are so inclined.

March Cacophonista

People participate in cacophony-esque events for a variety of reasons. I do it because I like the absurd, interrupting the normal and because life is a stage. Here are some events you can participate in this weekend:

Los Angeles's Impov Everywhere Group
(facebook event link) (@glaimprov)

When: 12pm (noon), Saturday, March 20th, 2010
Meeting Point: Sunset/Vermont Metro station for the briefing. When you arrive, please check-in with us. There will be signs at the station showing you where to check- in.

Bring: Classy Party Attire. Party favors and party hats, but nothing that leaves a mess.

LA Bunnyhop
(facebook event link) (@labunnyhop)

Starts Saturday at Noon at Vermont and Sunset (joining the Countdown)
It's been five years since the last LA Bunny Hop... It's time again. I got a wild hare and decided to gather all you down bunnies for a day of bar-hopping good times... by metro of course. Keep your ears up for more updates.

1. Dress for the occasion. (Bunnies!)
2. Prepare for an easter egg hunt. Bring goodies or something to carry goodies.
3. Follow the LA Bunny Hop on twitter. Stick with your bunnies, but the "schedule" is open to liberal interpretation.
4. Invite all the bunnies you know.

LA Marathon Zombie Stop
(facebook event link) (@heathervescent)

Sponsored in part by Zombies without Borders, the LA Marathon goes through Hollywood and let's make it weird! The LA Marathon is Sunday. Why is everyone running? Zombies of Course! We are the zombies.

--->March 21: Sunday: LA Marathon Zombie Run: 10:30am~2 Mile 12: Gardner &Sunset in West Hollywood Bring cocktails, twinkies, beer, lounge chairs, wear zombie attire

RSVP privately for complimentary zombie makeup time/location nearby. This is an official LA Cacophony Event. Support your local Cacophonistas and be one yourself.

Clothing-"optional" Swap

I am in need of something more powerful than the all-mighty Naked Lady Party. Returning from the open desert full of exploded propane tanks, burned out tired and ancient mine shafts (that entropy ate for lunch over the past 4 decades) I have decided I have too much stuff.

Add to that I prefer clothing swaps to garage sales and finding renewed life for my stuff in my friends house - I am having a massive "clothing-optional" swap.

What the ef is a clothing swap aka a Naked Lady Party?

It's where you go through your closet (all of them or even your house) and pull out the stuff you don't wear, don't want, thought you would wear, that stuff you will never fit into, that belt from an x-boyfriend, that bracelet from the x-friend who stabbed you in the back, those random shoes left at your house after your barely rememberable (although memorable) party last year.... etc.

You get it. The stuff that still have life in it, and someone to love it, but it's not you. Your love for it is dead. But, you're guilt-tripped by the eco-friendly world we live in and can't just throw it in the dumpster. And you could take it to the Salvation Army (or Out of the Closet or the Women's shelter) but, it's just been sitting in the trunk of your car for three weeks already.

Jeeze. I have a lot of baggage.

And it can be yours. I already have 6 bags of stuff, including some stupid books from the web 1.0 era (um, webeconomics anyone? Does anyone remember 1:1 marketing?), three sheets to the wind (and an amazing amount of flannel pillowcases, I can only imagine are from my bay area days that have not yet made it to the camping gear). Amazing beauty products that promise to turn you into a supermodel in 5 days (but I got bored of them after the first night). Random burning man costumes and true vintage 70s Polynesian dresses. Let's not even get started on my random box of electronics, wires, old phones, usb hello kitty dancing delight.

OK. So you may not be interested in any of this stuff. But in the small chance that you are interested, I will sell it to you for the amazing price of .... FREE. Just show up. I'll tell you a story about it and maybe you'll give it a new life. Or maybe you'll just take it to the desert and put it out of it's misery.

If you would like to add any of your stuff to the free swap, bring it - but be sure to take it home if no-one else does. (Or maybe we can organize a mass Out of the Closet run afterwards.)

The bottom line:
Optional: Bring shit to swap. (And bring a bag)
Required: Take something cool home!
Optional (but preferred): Bring a drink (cocktail or not) or snack to share.

Sunday, January 10th, 2010!

Ladies only until from 12-2.

Guys come on by after 2pm until about 4pm.

Details and RSVP here.

Anniversary

Saturday the boyf and I took his car "that can not be named" up to Ojai for a daytrip. We bopped around the town, got a late breakfast and then I suggested we explore highway 33 north through the Los Padres Forest. The tires squeeled around the turns (which the boyf was taking at double the recommended speed) and I gripped the armhold on the door and wished for five point harnesses.

My face was a complete grin and there were no other cars (or motorcycles) in sight. Just magestic purple mountains, rocks and meadows. It reminded me how beautiful California is. There is really no other place on earth - and here we were - a mere 3 hours north of one of the biggest metropolis' in the northern hemisphere. Which made me all weepy for LA.

June gloom and Jacarandas remind me of my first month in LA. I knew the anniversary was coming up when the purple flowers started mucking up the sidewalks on the morning dogwalk. I watched the pair of Jacarandas - over 3 stories high - bloom and make a psychedelic canvas on the rich green grass. First week in June. Five years ago I left San Francisco and arrived in a Venice bungalow. I've spent another year in this city. It's five now. Five years in LA and no sign of leaving.

My Random Act of Kindness

John Paul is a painter and he must be over 80. He lives in the 4plex in front of our house, so every time I take the dog out I walk by his open windows and spy bits of colored paintings. Often I smell solvents and that's when I know hes painting.

I myself prefer to bake and when I do, it's generally big batches that are way more than I want to consume. I used to send a bunch with the boyfriend to work (or take some myself) but I would still have a lot left over. So I figured out a solution to my cookie making problem - maybe John Paul would like some. So now when I make cookies or brownies (or that massive batch of rice crispy treats like a few weeks ago) I make a little package for him.

He told me he enjoyed something sweet with his scotch nightcap. And I get to bake without the worry of eating everything. Problem solved - along with a budding friendship.

Weekend Highlights

I did a lot. I didn't do that much. Here's an enumeration to remind myself.

• H cranky from various things including the stock market and self-imposed stress pressure
• Boyfs sister and husband in law in town
• Spending time in the beautiful garden
• Lazy Saturday
• Crazy Baby Shower party with an old friend. Good times.
• Black Balloon and the midnight fill up.
• A high speed embrace on highway 5
• An awesome Kosher french restaurant
• The aquarium
• A tired H.

Jeeze, I've been moody this weekend. I don't know what the deal has been but I've been really short tempered and alternating between Taoist connected to the flow and wanting to rage against it (and 8 million things in between). I think I'm tired. The darkness of the evenings really depresses me. And the sun comes too early for my liking screwing with my usual standard sleeping patterns. Also the dog has really been wedging him into the wrong places of the bed. Time for the dog smack down again I guess.

Alessandra was telling me about quitting smoking a few weeks ago and describing her craving as "it wants a cigarette." Today I started using that to describe my crankiness. "It wants to be cranky. It wants __fill in the blank__." I think it's appropriate. I often find emotions to be like aliens. They just invade me and it's not like I want to feel them. What I feel is not the totality of who I am. Or, who I'd like to pretend/create/dream/assign who "I" identify with. I'd prefer to identify that person as the part connected to the larger god/life/energy/insertanydescriptionhere. So maybe I should start detaching that from myself like Alessandra was doing with her tobacco craving....

MSM and the Dog

Puppernut has an uncanny coincidence rate. He sometimes does things that look like they are in response to something he's "overheard". Usually it involves licking someone more than someone else. But yesterday a new syncronicity was found.

In the morning the boyf and I were talking about sad things we don't like to think about. He mentioned that it would be really sad when Romeo wouldn't be able to leap up anymore - and we both paused to think about our future old dog, no teeth trying to jump. This image barely formed in my mind when I snatched up the bottle of MSM on the table. For some reason I bought a bottle of this "joint supplement". Because I noticed my body being achier due to old age (which I don't believe) or stress (which I do believe). Anyway I snatched up the bottle and was waving it around saying, "Well, then I'll just start to give him MSM!" in an energetic singsong voice. Shaking the bottle of MSM supplements generally riling up everyone at the table. Sam and I joked and laughed for a while more and then went on to finish up at home and go about our paved roads to work.

When we got home and were hanging out playing with the dog in the bedroom, I looked over to his "kill pile" - this is where he takes his "kill" aka toys, treats, whatever he had caught/collected to devour - and what did I see? The bottle of MSM! It was as if he understood what we were talking about at the breakfast table and not wanting to get old, decided to start taking it himself! Of course the real answer is that it was random (and after reading several books on random order, order in random numbers, random theory, there's a statistical chance that what Romeo did was by pure chance.) But I like to think he really understood us. It makes life more interesting.

Morning Cats

On the rooftop behind our place, the sun rises. Shining it's first morning rays into my eyes. I've been waking up well before 6am. Mostly to think, ponder, half-dream, visual-self-hypno-re-program myself. Eventually my mind is wide awake and I rise myself from the golden bed of revitalization into the world of solid objects.

Yesterday I made two new friends. Two big black cats with bright green eyes. We watched each other through the screen. I was transfixed by the beauty of their sleek coats and penetrating cool eyes. And the freedom to lounge on rooftops watching the sun rise.

They remind, represent those silent morning moments in my life - past and the many more to come.

Dream come true, new dreams

Sam was driving us back from the Reptile Breeders Meeting today. We were in my convertible, the top was down, it was about 85 degrees, I had the A/C on. The new Orb album was revering bass in my seat. And it hit me - this is my dream - one of them at least.

When I was a college student in Cedar Falls, Iowa - home to -50+ below windchill weeks in the winter, I dreamed of having a Saab. It seemed so far out of reach for me. When I lived in Berkeley and needed a new car, I bought a practical Camry. I still dreamed of my fancy car. One company founder had a dark green saab convertible and I drooled over his car. Loved it. Loved it.

When I moved to LA, I decided I needed to have a convertible - because I was in LA now, right?! ;) I had forgotten my Saab dreams and loves until, like a veil I remembered. I made it happen. And now, every day, I drive around in my dream.

It's been four  years. I had forgotten gratitude. I had forgotten that this dream did not always exist. That I worked hard for it to come true. And here I was, being driven on the 5, in Southern California at sunset, top down, wind blowing, my favorite music playing on my stereo system. I was living my dream.

--
Somewhere in the past 6 months or so, my dreams changed. I've gotten caught up in day to day drama - work and relationship - and have forgotten about the big stuff. I remembered this watching Southland Tales. There's an undercurrent about manifesting in life the things that were scripted. That's dreaming and stalking for you. Anyway, it reminded me that I used to do a lot of this. A lot of being in control of my reality, pro-actively creating my life. More recently I've been caught up in winds I don't control - nor can control myself in them.

It's very discombublating.

However, now that I have realized this, I can get back to living life the way I like to. Pro-actively. Focused on an end-goal, that I don't necessarily know exactly how I'm getting there. After, the journey is the destination, and once I know where I am going, getting there is the fun.

Rumble, Gurgle

So there was an earthquake today. Just before noon. I'm sitting in the high tower (literally - the 4th floor turret of a 3 story building) and the floor starts shaking like a truck has hit the building or a huge washing machines is bumping around and I look over at Gaurav (my officemate) and say - "It's an earthquake."

I immediately look up at our beamed ceiling. Wondering if I should move. As I watched (and felt) the building shake, I waited. I waited to see how bad it would get. It subsided and then started up again, stronger than before. I kept seated. I tweeted the earthquake and I waited to see what would happen. Calm and open and receptive in the moment.

It finally finished. The electricity was still on. I was still calm. it was only after a minute or two that my heart started beating. I was not panicked. I was amped up. I had lived through my first big LA quake. Sure, I felt that 3 or 4 pointer back in El Cerrito when I lived in Berkeley. Sure I felt the little 3 pointer earlier this year while I was working in my home office. And yeah, maybe this was not the big one - but I was in an office and the building was moving, and everything was fine. I didn't mind the rumbling - I only watched in anticipation with how strong it was and was the building going to break. Was I in danger. I was not.

I enjoyed the ride. Just like those turbulent flights. Just like landing in the lightening storm in STL back back in the day. Nature, you gotta love her. You gotta respect her and you gotta go with the flow. She's boss.

4 Years Tomorrow

I remember when first heard the word "Jacaranda". It was in a Marisa Monte song in the Southern Hemisphere in a Northern Brazilian Beach town.

Four years ago I subletted a writer's cottage in Venice Beach. A light blue house with a wide grass lawn and a hammock in the back. Across the street from my home office (her office) was a beautiful tree with purple flowers. I learned this was a Jacaranda tree.

I had no reason to come to Los Angeles. I knew no one. I had no job. I had just this one month sublet. I did not come here for boy or job or to run away from my life or join a cult. I came to Los Angeles because it told me I needed to be here. That this place - this city - my birthplace - was where I needed to be. To leave the NorCal Elitist Snobbery and take a chance. Jump into the unknown. I had the guts and I jumped.

I remember these things because Friday is my 4 year anniversary of moving to LA.

Ah what times we've had Los Angeles. What we've learned from each other. What we've brought each other. The opportunities and challenges. I maintain my service to you - to uncover - to bring to light that which others ignore. To see what other can not - do not see - until I point the way - the Primer Inter Pares - threshold to the mainstream.

"My first duty is to sacrifice to the gods and pray them to grant me the thoughts, words and deeds likely to render my command most pleasing -- and to bring myself, my friends and my city the fullest measure of affection and glory and advantage."

I raise my glass to you - to another year of success - new opportunities, new friends and new adventures - always breaking new ground.

Funny Voices

Remembering reading the Libertarian tome (filled with minor characters), Burning Man books, comic books and MySpace emails in my Monster Truck, British and normal voices. I really love reading outloud in my Monster Truck voice.

Poolside in Hollywood

It's a Hollywood story. Text message. Convertible on Sunset Blvd. Valet park @ the Standard. I'm wearing my puking clown t-shirt from threadless as I take a seat in the Joshua Tree room. I'm looking at the wall paper and thinking about the ranch and how I might build a wall in the middle of the desert only to plaster it with this wall paper.

Then I'm drinking a mocha poolside while I listen to a director and two other folks talk about the movie deal. At the table next to me two sunglass clad metrosexuals enjoy their yogurt and berries. I'm tempted to order a drink but I'm trying to hit Rachel's Cardio Funk at Noon to get these abs into show off state.

I pull out my yellow book and three coins and offer a birthday gift of enlightenment to my friend. He throws the coins and the reading is one for us all. "Do not be that which you are not - be authentic - follow your true path." We talk about the things we usually talk about. Which is not politics (we're both libertarians) or burning man (much) or art or technology. We talk about the things our minds toy with. Relationships, processing. I make fun of the name he gave me "Mr Hard Ass." And I am. This time we talk about wolf packs, writing, motivation, conflict, relationships and an obvious asset. I suppose that's what we talk about most of the time. A phone call interrupts us - we have fun with it.

It's been a while since I've lived these typical LA stories. I immediately wonder why is that? I've gotten stuck in a groove. I've become more serious than usual. (All weekend the boyf was joking with me that I'm soooo serious - especially when I am joking. That reminds me that humor is not something I strive for, but rather the absurd and eccentric.)

I'm returning to things from the past. Returning to past mindsets, my internet radio show, my twisty drives in the Santa Monica Mountains. I consider Aikido, exercise, my desire for that "malibu mansion**" (I knew even then it was going to be in the Hollywood Hills). I think about which things I may cut, how I've stopped using GTD and the flow and flux of friends.

I long for those days. The vanilla sky. When LA was new and undiscovered. However it is still new and undiscovered. I've just gotten stuck in my habitual ruts. Time again, to break out.

* Image by Sam Newman

** This is joke with a friend. I'm referring to the mansion I'd buy once I was famous in Los Angeles, from back when I was only considering moving here.

ps. Remember "stealing the novelty"

Jacaranda Blue

I've really enjoyed theses spring dog walks. I've found a nearby neighborhood where my eyes feast on the houses, the streets and trees. It's not typical Los Angeles, with white picket fences and non-palm-tree-lined streets. The Jacaranda's have been fabulous. It's one of my favorites times.

Grey wet sidewalk
Carpet of fresh green grass
White picket fences

Everywhere I look is a visual feast.
Psychedelic bougainvillea
Fat avocados on a bare tree
Delicate yellow flowers hidden in vines

Click-click pattering on the pavement
The wind caresses my neck
I inhale a sweet scent
Raise my eyes to the sky watching
ravens and crows, finches and jays.

Patches of purple flowers shower the way
better than any red carpet.

* photo by Autumn Leaf

Go see this movie: Wrong is Right

I caught this movie at the New Beverly last night. It was originally released in 1982, but it is almost true to our modern political situation. Check out the description:

Based on Charles McCarry's 1979 novel The Better Angels, Wrong is Right is set in a near future in which violence has become something of a national sport and television news has fallen to tabloid depths (a significantly bigger stretch in 1982, when the film was released.) Star Sean Connery plays Patrick Hale, a globe-trotting reporter with access to a staggering array of world leaders. As the film opens, he has ventured to the Arab country of Hegreb to interview his old acquaintance, King Ibn Awad (Ron Moody). Awad has learned that the President of the United States (George Grizzard) may have issued orders for his removal; as a result, Awad) is apparently making arrangements to deliver two mini-nuclear devices -- each about the size of a small suitcase -- to a terrorist, with the intention of detonating them in Israel and the United States, unless the President resigns. In the intricate plot that unfolds, nothing is quite the way it seems, and Hale finds himself caught between political leaders, revolutionaries, CIA agents and other figures, trying to get to the bottom of it all.

Really, I highly suggest you pop over to the New Beverly tonight or pick it up on DVD. Classic lines like - Gas is up to $3.60! 80's satire has become aughts reality.

Home Again Dreams

I woke up to the coolness of an LA morning. I open the windows, getting snippets of the opera singer next door. My mind is a jumble of the dream memories, pavement, deserts, a bus. My skin is dry from the heat and traveling. My purple has faded into a fuscha. I'm thinking about Chicken John and his untouchable spotlight. I'm back in the comfort of my office. My Brazilian Visa paperwork reminds me of an errand I must do today. It's good to be home.

Traveling Around

I'm off on a desert walkabout on Sunday. But first, I'll stop by the Brewery Artwalk and see my friends art (Miriam, Isa, Vanessa & Kasey, Kevin), then it's Bootie at the new larger Echoplex - although I'm intrigued by the undead celebration at Beta Level. Then it's off to Tuscon for a week at the Science of Consciousness Conference, where I'm hoping to expand my mind academically. I'm staying at the Historic Hotel Congress. Then on my way home, I'm stopping at the Amargosa Opera House.

Then I'm back in LA for a week, to host the 2nd Anniversary of the LA Geek Dinner. (Two years - wow!) And then it's off to NY, Boston for roflcon and then to South America. I'm finally returning to Brasil - and this time, I'm visiting Sao Tome das Letras.

LA's Freeze

I've gotten involved in GuerilLA. Here's our second "mission" where we join the national Improv Everywhere Freeze.

Borges in the Brain

It was another night of crazy dreams.  There was the MOMA exhibit of toilets, but none of them worked and I had to go to the bathroom. There was the huge jar/pot (the size of a small car) with a smaller jar/pot inside it. There was someone inside the larger jar and a snake in the smaller pot. I buzzed my lips and the snake started to wake up. I couldn't tell if over which pot lip I was buzzing and whether I was the person in the pot or out of it. I didn't want to get bitten by the snake.

Back in the this life I have become re-obsessed with stunt car driving again. Like I wrote before, I wanted to take stunt car school for 6 years - and I finally did it this past year. It was hard! Really hard and I was not the immediate expert I had hoped to be. I had a lot going against me - my arm muscles, my uncalussed palms. That's ok, I still loved it. I would become great - but I needed a lot of practice. The problem was - where to practice? It's not like I've got a track in my backyard and I respect the laws enough to not practice on the streets.

Anyway, I am working to remedy this problem, to get more training and practice to actually be able to do some driving (maybe not stunt at first) for the moooovies. (You know that small text "Closed Track, Professional Driver"? Yeah, I wanna do that.) Has heathervescent finally gotten hit by the hollywood bug?

All I know, is that I love driving, I've loved cars, driving from the moment I was born. And speed. I like to go fast too. But ya gotta build up to that. Piuma canyon is still my favorite and my recent craigslist and eBay searches have included "purple camaro" from the 70's.

Ah, dreams - you gotta love them.

Love Anniversary - Romeo

Romeo
Originally uploaded by heathervescent.

On this day last year, the boyfriend and I welcomed a squirming bundle of licks into our home. It's hard to remember how easy and clean life was before Romeo. The year seems much much longer. We've had our ups and downs. Lots of ripped squeeker toys, chocolate bars and avocado encounters. 

Thanks for all your licks and love, my little Romeo.

Dogs and Avocado, parts 2 and 3

Here are two more stories for the dogs and avocados category.

Part 2
The boyfriend and I went out to sushi earlier this week. We've done a good job of ordering and aren't left with much after sating our appetite. There's one avocado roll left. I am very tempted to pop it in my mouth, but before I do that I have a gem of an LA idea pop into my head. Let's take it home for the dog!

There are so many things that delight me about this idea. It is completely and utterly absurd. Feeding sushi to the dog? Well, if there is one place on earth you could get away with that, it would have to be LA. To prove the stereotype, we decide to wrap it up and take it home. It's partially an experiment. Will the dog eat sushi?

Part 3
A couple days after the sushi incident. (Which we video recorded so you'll be able to see the results!) I came home to a bunch of leathery pieces of avocado skin on the bed. There were no bits of avocado flesh and no pit. I use my deductive powers to figure out the dog must have gotten the avocado out of the fruit bowl. But where was the pit? The boyfriend found the pit in a pile of laundry. It was licked clean.

My earlier assumption about the dog not liking avocado has been proven incorrect. I think he was confused by the skin on his first attempt. I have to admit, that I like the idea of giving him avocado as a treat more than the processed dog treats. He still loves his pig ears (and I do love giving them to him), but avocado is an excellent alternative.

Pls. hold for the dog eating sushi video.

The Houses I Almost Bought

To the tune of "the cars she used to drive" I see the houses I almost bought. Sunset from Silverlake to Echo Park I pass the possibilities. I think back to the reality of the future. Bright colors, a happy dog, a yard. My exile has ended. I'm remaking domestic bliss in the present.

LA Santacon 2007 - what happened?

Folks always get antsy about Santacon before it happens, because most people like to know what is happening before they do it. But sometimes you gotta trust that something good is going to happen. Take this year's LASantacon. Highlights included:

• Santa's rolling down the hill at the TarPits and hanging with the Giant Sloths (still one of my favorite LA spots)
• Not getting kicked out of the Grove - Not sure how that didn't happen (but more than that, the looks on people's faces as we walked through the grove)
• Snowball fight
• Giant Twister (that I personally made the night before, inspired by the guy who made the SF Twister board).
• Limbo-dancing under a candy cane
• Secret Exodus and landing on Melrose
• Taking over the Top Floor @ The Formosa
• and other things Santa doesn't like to say on blogs.

Everywhere we went people's faces lit up. Children were delighted - especially the ones who joined in on the snowball fight. I only wish we had been able to walk back on Hollywood Blvd - because there were some prime interaction opportunities. The word from Santa is that 2007 was Best. Santacon. Ever. I'm so proud I could help make it happen.

I'm the one with the megaphone. ;) ps. see ya in SF next weekend.

*photo by Kmo of me and Cameron.

Not in Charge

Not in Charge
Originally uploaded by Jenski2.

From the what I did yesterday file - It  was LA Santacon and I helped HeliSanta put the thing together. Together we really kicked some red tide ass. I think everyone had a great time. My favorite moment: the snowball fight in Pan Pacific Park and the looks on the people's faces as we walked through the grove.

The massive synapse firing is what I'm going for. Creating a memory, a story that is unforgettable and ephemeral.

Santa is coming to town - Saturday

You'd better watch out, Santa has something up his sleeve this Saturday in mid-town LA. Just saying...

Some (geek) events coming up

What's on my calendar? The usual mix of tech and alt events in LA and beyond.

• Kirk is hosting the Nov Community Buildrs on Thursday. I've never been able to make one, although I like the concept and encouraged Kirk to start this up when we talked during the summer. I actually think I'm gonna leave this event alone, because I'm working on creating another new community that happens on Thursdays closer to my hood, and branching away from the geek/tech scene. I'm talking about Aikido. I get tired of being only in my brain, so I've been getting back into practicing aikido and helping get the local shusekai dojo going. I've got some plans for other body/movement classes I'm gonna organize in 2008.
• Irina is throwing the Winnies this Friday at CineSpace. I love the idea behind the event, so I'm going and might give or receive an award.
• Then Saturday night A+D wrangled me into doing a last minute BootieLA performance. Me and my posse will be performing alongside my fav DJs on stage starting just after midnight!
• Then I'm off to Mountain View for the Internet Identity Workshop until the 5th. Ask a Ninja is doing their live thing for the ask a ninja day. I don't think I'll make it to that.
• And then it's December. Santarchy in LA (on the 8th) and SF on the 15th. December Geek Dinner, tbd. Machine Project's Fry. Open Space Facilitation training back up in the East Bay and I'm trying to make it to NYC to see Neilalien, Joe, Dame Darcy, Steve and some other folks I am forgetting at the moment.
• Finally, it's back to Cambria to close out the year. 2007 - opened and closed.

Wow - 2007 - lots happened. Lots changed. Lots was accomplished. I didn't get my 40 days in the desert. But I was extremely successful at pimping and promoting - my main goal of this year. I already know what my main challenges for 2008 are. To get over myself and do these three things I hate doing. If I do those things, then my face will be on a cover (again) soon and I'll have jetted off on another trajectory - or more likely I'll be following several threads all at once. But before we go off on that ride, let's get through the rest of the year.

Hawt! An n9593 on Ice

Andrew Maskin put an n93 on ice for the NYC mobile barcamp.

If you missed the MobileBarcampLA, check out the recap here. There's also a google group you can join. My favorite items were:

• One World. No Borders. 3 Billion Connected People. Claim Your Piece. - David Harper
  Dave Harper, CEO of Winksite, a suite of tools to immediately create and support mobile communities, gave an hour-long session sharing his experience on what it takes to scale mobile applications to 189+ countries and over 5 million hits per month. After providing tips and tricks on mobile advertising and mobile SEO, Dave showed and explained QR Codes and their real-world applications using a plethora of examples. People got really excited about this and again, ideas were bounced back and forth and were discussed far beyond the session.

• halfbaked.com - Entrepreneurial Improv - Alexis Rondeau
  Each team selected 2 random words and got 20 minutes to come up with - and pitch - the next mobile killer application! Besides having the very nice side-effect of making people play and interact, the resulting mobile startup ideas ranged from outrageous ("Zombie Hook-up") to VC-fundable ("Car Watch"). After every team presented their startups' product, revenue model, marketing plan, tagline and logo the most promising one was selected. The winning team was completely speechless when we gave each of them either an N95 or an N800. The unpacking of the boxes ensued immediately and everyone was flocking around the devices. In total we gave away 10 devices in this session (including the very cool panel of judges).

• MegaPhone Demo and discussion - Dan Albritton
  Dan Albritton from playmegaphone.com gave the first workshop in the morning showcasing their mobile real-time multiplayer game engine. MegaPhone is an interactive installation where any cellphone becomes a game-controller by placing a phonecall. Within 1 Minute Dan had the crowd punching their phone-keypads ("Peow-peow!P-p-p-eow!") to score and shouting into their mics ("Grabgrab! Grabgrabgrab! Grab!") to reach the Top 10 of the game. After an overview of the underlying technology and showcases, the group went into a long conversation on creating new applications of the project.
• (recap bullets written by Andy Maskin, Source)

And the In N Out Burger truck in the parking lot. And I don't even like In n Out. ;) I also enjoyed the 1-2am drive around Hollywood to Santa Monica, where we QR tagged In n Out on Sunset, saw a car go over the cliff on Mulholland, looked at the lights of the Valley and Basin from the hills and drove like a race car driver taking the freeway curves at an increasing speed utilizing centrifugal force with the top down.

Now that's a day in the life of LA.

Home Again, Home Again

Whew, it's good to be home. This past 10 day exile from the city of Angels was a hard one. Hard not because of the people and traveling (although those had their moments), but hard because I have turned into a hard-core SoCal Angelino. You know how you can recognize New Yorkers anywhere by their accent and NYC attitude? (I don't mean that in a negative way, you often know a NYer when you see em.) And the most hard core can't imagine living anywhere else? Well, if you apply it to heathervescent you'll need to swap out NYC for LA. I used to love traveling the world, seeing other cultures, play being a native when I was a tourist. I studied 5 languages because I wanted to communicate with anyone and understand culture from the insides. Now I don't care if I ever leave California. There is no other place in the world I would rather be (except maybe Brazil - actually naaahh.)

In the past year, as the LA geek scene has exploded, several different people have asked  me why I don't extend my event/activities to other cities. I certainly believe there are opportunities in other locals - tech scenes are exploding in "second" and "third" tier tech cities all over the world. I considered building a world empire for about 5 minutes and then I realized that was a boy-ego-mustkeepupwithNerd2point0geekscene thought. I don't care about building an empire across the world (at least not in the geek scene). And when I think about what I am passionate about - it's technology and Los Angeles. So although I pause and wonder if I am passing up a huge opportunity for some kind of "domination", I stay true to myself, my passions and my authenticity and stay focused on the city I love. The city that inspires me. The city that drives me crazy and fills me with possibilities. A city that only rivals NYC and Mexico City in the Northern Hemisphere and with world peers of Shanghai, Sao Paolo, Mumbai, Tokyo and Seoul. A city close enough to nature that I can disappear off the grid, deep into hardcore desert in 4 hours. Or if I have only 1 hour, I can drive to the top of a mountain and look out across the basin, shivering in snow depending on the month. I don't need to leave LA, because I have the whole world right here - and I'm living smack in the middle of it.

1 Hour, a million miles away

One hour from Long Beach is a completely different world. Shrouded in fog, the city of Avalon. (Begin Brian Ferry soundtrack now.) I had heard about Catalina from friends, family and full of mystery from the map. The boyfriend and I were looking for an overnight trip different from our desert excursions - and he surprised me with Catalina.

We packed our bags, drove to Long Beach and caught the 1 hour ferry. It was a cool foggy day, and as we left port the Queen Mary was a ghostly reflection. Huge container transport trucks appeared from the fog. Flocks of black birds skimmed the oceantop in modified V formation. Two seats back a reality TV "star" and his camera crew attempted to wax poetic and failed. I was jacked up on surprise and Donald Trump.

As the island became visible I kept calling it Mysterious Island after one of my favorite childhood movies. S wondered if they had a movie theatre that only showed King Kong.

The place was practically empty. I guess that's what you get when you go off season during the week. I actually love going off-season. I hate being a tourist. I don't like crowds and I want to feel like what it is for the locals. :)

Avalon reminded me of a cross between the Caribbean Island towns and Ouro Preto, in Belo Horizonte Brazil. Little Golf carts everywhere. A completely walkable town. We stopped by the old time photo shop and had our photos taken. We wandered around the waterfront. We hung out on the balcony of our Victorian Hotel. We toured around the island. We went underwater. We learned about the history of Catalina. I breathed deeply the cool ocean air. I wore my sneakers and ski jacket.

As we came back to the mainland yesterday I felt like we had been gone for more than 24 hours. I felt completely refreshed, relaxed and reset. I felt like my adventurous, nothing can get in the way between me and my dream life. And I felt inspired and passionate to do the things I love doing.

Thanks magical isle, La Catalina - Avalon. 

On Making Experiences

I love to make experiences. Experiences for myself, and for other people. On Saturday I had a fine opportunity. After holding sessions on "how to kick ass" at barcamp, I ran off to meet friends at the Palms Thai in Hollywood and to catch Thai Elvis.

Now I have heard about this Thai Elvis dude for-ever, but after 3.5 years in LA (and living less than 10 min from) I still had not seen him. I expected a dark, velvet covered, smoky, dive bar vibe - and was totally confused when I entered and it was a cross between college cafe seating and midwest kitsch (wooden cats hanging from the recessed lighting). I was a deer in the headlights, but I found my crew. It was refreshing catching up with old friends.Then it was out to my favorite dance party with awesome DJs A+D. It was a friend's birthday and I was able to get us a VIP table. The whole evening was an awesome experience.

That reminded me how much I love being in a position to make awesome experiences for people. Experiences like the "failed" pillowfight, streetwars, barcamps2 & 3, zombies in LA and SF, material boys, birthday parties. That's one of the things I do. I know what will delight and excite people and then I work to make those experiences a reality.

Why should they only exist in the mind of movies? Especially here in Los Angeles.

Bonus credit participation: What experience will you create today?

BarcampLA4 Preso

Here's the preso I gave at BarcampLA 4. It spans online branding, blowing shit up, doing things and how to get your heart's desire. As in all things, be authentic, manage risks strategically and be safe KICK ASS.

xxx

-Heather

ps. I'm a kick-ass integrator.

 

| View | Upload your own

ps. photo credits in the preso go to Kmo and Jenna.

Get Thrown Around - aikido in Hollywood

About 10 years ago I randomly walked into an Aikido class at the Berkeley Y. I stuck around for several years - enough to make fourth Kyu and get my blue belt. I had black hair at that last test. I had planned to get my black belt in 2001, but I stopped practicing and priorities put aikido at the bottom of the list. Then I moved to LA and lost touch with my dojo.

Last fall I started getting a hankering to practice again. I looked around for a dojo or sword class, but didn't find one I liked. Then I found out an old friend and fellow student, lived in LA, was now a black belt _and_ teaching. Andrew was one of my favorite practice partners years ago, so when I found out he was teaching less than a mile from my house, I was so back on the mat.

Except we didn't have many mats. That's changing tonight. You see, when I was up in the Bay Area, I picked up some old Shusekai mats. These are most likely the same ones I practiced on 10 years ago. And now they're here in our dojo in Hollywood.

I'm so excited to doing aikido again - especially shusekai aikido. Perhaps you'd like to join me? Please do, although my favorite applications of aikido are off the mat.

AIKIDO
"The Way of Harmony"
A martial art dedicated to peaceful conflict-resolution with Andrew Reichart Sensei
Presented by Physical Training Center for Perfromance, Aikido Shusekai & Theatre Dojo.

Thursdays
7pm-8:30pm
at BODYWORKS Studio
6575 Santa Monica Blvd.
Hollywood, CA 90038

$20 per class
or 5 class block for $75
beginners always welcome

Benefits of Aikido Shusekai training include:
• Increased calm, confidence, awareness, and focus
• Improved stamina, posture, flexibility, and coordination
• Increased poise and resourcefulness in the face of crisis and conflict
• A bearing and attitude that helps to defuse potential conflicts
before they start
• Healing of old fears and traumas related to conflict and aggression
• Meeting good people
• Fun!

Advice from my Dentist

Yesterday I had to get one of my fillings redone after a small piece chipped off a couple months ago. (I would cringe when I had cold things.) I come up with some classic lines in doctor's offices and yesterday was no difference.

I have never had a problem going to the dentist. Even as a child with my cavities I didn't have a problem. But yesterday I had the strangest experience. I had a complete and utter dentist terror freak out. It came out of nowhere, was completely unusual and I honestly felt totally terrified. It was when he showed me the needle he was about to stick in my mouth.

Something came over me and my mind and heart started racing - for absolutely no reason at all. Sure, on one side I could calm my brain, breath slowly, use my chill out meditation techniques - but here was a total and complete terrified body reaction. Even as I was freaking out, I was observing the whole thing flabbergasted.

Anyway, I got calmed down enough to get shot up and he got to drilling the old filling out, when I asked him if I could keep the silver. He stopped the drilling for a moment and exclaimed that in his 30 years of work, he thought he had heard everything, but no one had ever asked for their filling. I'm a quirky one like that.

So after all was said and done and the new silver was in my mouth I asked him, should I do anything in particular (concerned about the filling)? His response was classic and wonderful:

"Enjoy Life"

Exactly. I love it. My dentist tells me to enjoy life. That's just awesome.

Exploding Cupcakes: Genius

Here is a picture for your mind. Before I create it, take a moment to clear your mental palate. Take a drink of water from the well of silence.

I love cake and I especially love bringing cake to a birthday party. Yesterday I went to celebrate a friend's such date, and I made cupcakes for the occasion. As I was decorating them, I was trying to think what would be appropriate. Frosting bullets? Marzipan firecrackers? An engine block? A wrench?

Well, we dug around and found some most appropriate candles - little red ones. I'm sure you know which ones I'm talking about. Think back to childhood and independence celebrations. They were really there for decoration, but I should have known better - knowing whose birthday it was.

What started out as cupcakes fit for the cover of better homes and gardens, ended up a salt/peter chocolate sprinkle exploded chocolate mess. Frosting liberated from the cupcakes was deposited on shirts, eyebrows and in hair. Not to mention the earsplitting !!BANG!! Yes, not only were the cupcakes on fire when I got there, they exploded all over the guests. They were pretty yummy too.

So, I think I've just added a new weapon to the hbomb arsenal. Here's the haiku Therm came up after I harassed him and Stuart about counting during our conversation.

I'm doing haiku
that is why I am counting
don't fuck with me bitch

I love my friends.

LA Geek Event Roll-up

The LA Tech scene has, like, exploded in the last few months. This time last year I organized the second BarcampLA and the geek dinner at uWink. This year we have.... (and I'm not organizing all of this, thank gods!)

• Sept Geek Dinner - Tonight!
• Ewan's in LA Dinner - Sept 25th, location TBD
• PodcampSoCal, Ontario - Sept 27 - the day before NewMedia Expo
• New Media Expo, Ontario - Sept 28-30
• Community Buildrs on Sept 27
• Oct Geek Dinner - Oct 16
• Community Buildrs - last week of Oct
• StartupLA - Oct 26 & 27 @ UCLA
• MobileCampLA on Oct 28
• BarcampLA 4 on Nov 3 & 4
• Launch a Startup geek event on Nov 9-11
• Barcamp San Diego 2 - Nov 10-11
• Nov geek dinner on Nov 13
• Community Buildrs - sometime in Nov
• Twiistup3 on Dec 3
• Dec geek dinner on Dec 18

I also happen to know there will be another Lunch 2.0 soon, and Community Buildrs usually happens the last Thursday of the month.

And yeah, I know we need a calendar. I'm working on it. Until then, just check back with my blog/this page or join the list.

ps. Did I miss something? Let me know and I'll add it.

Great Chase in LA

This looks super cool -

Ravenchase is pleased to announce its first event in L.A! Stop watching reality TV and get in the game! If you've been waiting to run your own amazing race, to find your own grail and to crack your own code, this is the chase for you! Our staff personally greets each group at the start of the race, explains the rules of the game and gives each team a hand made treasure map, clues on parchment scrolls and a bag of cool gadgets (like black lights to see clues written in invisible ink). Teams can travel in any direction they like around the city. Actors are also planted along the course, to interact with and help the teams. All the answers and puzzle pieces along the course will lead them to a secret end location, where prizes are awarded to the top three teams.

It's August 25th and if I was in town - I would totally do it. So, someone else, go do it for me and tell me how it it. ;)

Burning Man Costumes - Redux

It's always strange to have a weekend at home. I'm most productive with a task list and this is one of the last weekends before burning man, so my focus was on pre-playa prep. I initially had a costume freak out, thinking that I didn't have any costumes and would be stuck wearing some regular clothes. You see, the domestic life is very good to the heathervescent and she's put on some weight! My slinky BM clothes from 3 years ago will not fit. But then I remembered my banana costume. And then the zombie cheerleader costume. And then my nurse costume (that I got for the Art of Bleeding show last October) and then I opened my closet and costume drawers, and it was like a cornucopia of possibilities! Really, there was no reason I should have ever worried, but I like to freak out sometimes.

I found my old Aeon Flux costume (which needs a new zipper) several sets of playa boots, evening gowns bought for the desert (what can I say, I do love the excessiveness of glamor in unusual places), capes, cloaks, wigs, gloves, stockings, knee highs - everything you could possibly want for the playa. But then in a fit of anger, I went to Melrose to try to fix my cell phone (which is an unlocked european phone that cingular has no clue how to deal with and I get horrible cell service since the iphone launched (me hate you apple!) and I walked by Aardvarks. Why I went in there, when I was feeling good about my costumes is beyond me. I picked up a lab coat, a couple flight suits, an ice purple cloak and wig to match, and too many other things. I think I now have costumes for a month on the playa. But wait! Don't stop there Heather, you're too good at being excessive. So how do we continue the excessiveness? Go to Hollywood Blvd! I picked up a new pair of boots, a police costume and some other spandex loveliness before headed into to the Costume shop - where I put my excessiveness on hold. I mean, do I really need to own a mascot costume? Well, not this year, unless you happen to have one sitting in your closet that I can borrow...

Stunt Car Enlightenment

You think whipping a car around was all I learned this weekend? Oh no. I'm enlightened by clouds of burning rubber. First off, Bobby Orr is the bomb! If you have any desire to learn some serious driving skills (and I'm not talking speed racing - I'm talking moving your car around skills - then go to him.)

I actually got to work with the guy, his name was Bobby Orr, and he was a Nascar driver, he teaches a lot of stunt guys, he has like five world records for stunts," Scott said. "He also teaches the Department of Defense. He works for the Department of Defense teaching soldiers how to maneuver their cars before they go to Iraq. (Source)

We pulled into the Camarillo Airport at 7:30 Saturday morning. I'm bleary because I haven't had any coffee yet and hoping there is coffee there. We arrive to a classroom in a trailer. There is no coffee. I salvage some sparkling water from my car.

After about an hour discussion about tire pressure we're given directions to get out on the tarmac and start the hands on section. I'm the only woman in the class, other than an instructor's assistant. First things first, we each get in a car and proceed to drive the slalom course - to observe our bad habits to break! Bad habits like arms flying, palming the wheel and looking at the cones.

Over the next two days, Bobby took us 4 street drives and turned us into possible professional stunters. I say possible because you can't possible become a profession stunt driver after 2 days of learning, you must practice a lot more to be able to put a car in the box. But I learned more than the core skills of flipping a 180 or sliding into a parking space at 90 degrees or doing a reverse 180 (totally cool, squealing tires and all!). He taught/reminded me

• Look at where I want to go // lock on tractor beam eyes - don't look at the obstacles ("Don't look at the cones! Look at the horizon!" .. "Look at this cone right here. You can't put your shoulder right here at this cone if you are looking across the hood.") Something magical happened when I turned my head in the 180 - the weight transfered and the car switched directions in a cloud of burned rubber smoke and wheels screaming! Magic or Science - it worked when I turned my head!
• It's the Feeling. Relax, get the feeling. Breath. I love being behind the wheel. I am calm and relaxed, especially when pulling a 180. ;)
• Timing is everything. It's the difference between putting it in the box and not. It's the difference between pass and fail. It's the difference between a high five and a car crash. It's the difference between life and death.
• Pause before you pull the trigger (or pull the eBrake). I've written about this pause before. It's so true.
• Make the car do the work. It's got more leverage and weight than my puny arm. Don't think I can bully it around. But understand how what I put into the car, comes out and don't over manage/over steer it!
• I can take pain, I have determination. Sometimes, in my more insecure moments, I worry that when it comes to the wire, I pussy out. I was never one for finishing my homework. It's very hard for me to do things I have no desire to do (like 20 math problems). But for my dreams and passions, there is no end to the heathervescent energy and determination. This weekend reminded me of that.

Hardcore Enlightenment. I left the weekend exhausted, covered in sweat, dirt and rubber. I left knowing awesome skills. I left remembering lessons applicable to every facet of my life. I left with pain and burst blisters and a little more enlightened and the ability to kick ass in novel and exciting ways.

Thank you guru stunt driver Bobby Orr!

ps. Sorry about blowing the three tires. xo

Stunt Driver Weekend!

Well, this week has been extremely busy, exciting, filled with lots of yumminess... so much so, that I have forgotten to mention (well this week at least) that tomorrow I AM GOING TO STUNT CAR SCHOOL!!!!!!!!

Can you tell how excited I am? I have been planning, dreaming of this weekend for 5 years. Five years! FIVE YEARS!!!

Will the weekend live up to my anticipation? I sure hope so. Maybe this is the beginning of a career in moovies. Or as a member of a secret subversive society. I'll be sure to share my feelings over the weekend. Squeeling tires and spinning wheels - here I come!

Saying goodbye feels good

You know how the heart's desire series says you gotta make room? Sometimes it's hard to say goodbye. But you gotta make room for all the new exciting stuff. So today, I say good bye to the blogger heather. It's my last month at Daily Mantra and Blogging.la. Admittedly I've not been posting much on b.la, but it's finally time to say goodbye. Daily Mantra is getting a new editor, Nicole and she's going to be great.

I'm excited to be pulling all my blogging back to heathervescent. And I've got a couple new websites I'll be telling you about soon (I hope), and then there's the whole LA Tech thing. It's not like I'm hanging out by the pool filing my nails. ;)

Weekend Recap

I felt like I didn't get a lot done this weekend. I hate feeling that way. But when I enumerate what actually happened, I apparently was very busy. Is it effortless living, an integrated life or lack of satisfaction? Or all three? I enjoy finishing things, but my real satisfaction is in planning them and then the moments of creation. Finishing leaves a hole, a gap, a vacuum.

• Awesome pow-wow helping crystallize where I want to go, and questions to ask myself to get there.
• I finished the unicorns.
• I thought a lot about Carmen and the pod.
• Puppets! and Uni!
• Unplanned midnight neighbor hang time. (Dog walking at midnight can improve neighborliness)
• Business meeting at Zuma Beach in Malibu, which included boogie boarding! (I have really missed swimming in the ocean.)
• Topped off with a visit to a magical Topanga hilltop compound. I'm still reeling from the reality of it. It was the location of dreams, but for real. I dared not take a photograph, but the memories are etched in my mind.

Today was a strange day. Too many things going on, started out with this 2 hour philosophical discussion about science and magic - both horrible words to describe what we were describing. Sometimes I just want to live with my worldview in peace - or blow my head off. But today, there is still work to be done and I continue to feel like I've accomplished nothing.

ps. save this post for the next LA Angst.

Pimping: Friends @ Felt Club

This weekend is Felt clubalicious. And showing her stuff is my pal Miriam!

Come check out New Limited Edition Hand Pulled Silk Screen Prints, a brand new line of Hand Silk Screened Tote bags and my awesome Tiny Buttons!!!

Owls, Sculls, Hearts, Birds, Skeleton's...all sorts of interesting vintage imagery!

More details (and pictures of cool stuff) here.

Angsty = Awesome

So last night I made Kaliya (who was in town visiting) meet me at LA Angst. I dug out two of my old journals 10 minutes before I left. One was the infamous Brazil journal - which is green and falling apart. The other was a journal I occasionally write and give updates to (it was started in 1991 and there are years between entries) - hey, who says I have to have only 1 journal? I mean, I've got this blog, my paper journal, my nav log, my GTD notebook and a variety of other notebooks. Anyway, I even found some poetry stuffed into the brazil journal (amazing because I burned all my love letters and most of my writing 2 years ago)

Here's the line up from last night. It was a total blast! Thank you to Leah (top o the list) for organizing it.

LeahPeah

Mocha Momma

Katronika

Redleather

West Coast Grrlie Blather

Heathervescent

Yay for us!

Being Ruthless - Healthcare in the LA area

A while back I wrote about the word ruthless. This article indeed shows a ruthless man. Whether his motivations are for the good of society or his own empire is not a judgment one can make. Still, it is a good example on how being ruthless is portrayed as bucking a system that needs to be bucked and building an empire.

What is more extraordinary is how Reddy is building his empire. Modern healthcare is largely based on the model in which insurers seek to control costs by paying fixed amounts to doctors and hospitals. Reddy is tearing that down.

When Reddy's company, Prime Healthcare Services Inc., takes over a hospital, it typically cancels insurance contracts, allowing the hospital to collect steeply higher reimbursements. It has suspended services — such as chemotherapy treatments, mental health care and birthing centers — that patients need but aren't lucrative.

I think Reddy's challenges are good - but he's certainly not paying his debt to man forward. His attitude:

Patients, he said, may simply deserve only the amount of care they can afford.

"Why is it in healthcare we expect to have the same?" he asked. "It's an entitlement mentality. Why aren't the same people asking why everybody shouldn't be eating the same foods, or have the same clothes or same homes? Those are as essential services as healthcare."

This is a very petty and small minded view. Yes, you can justify intellectually, but karmacally, it does not help human evolution. If Reddy cared less about growing millions and being a powerful man, he could take his millions and work to change the system in another ways - one that benefits both his organization and new paradigm and the people doctors heal.

Click through for the Hippocratic oath.
h/t to DangerGirl.

Feeling Angsty?

I remember when I learned what the word angst meant. Or actually the first time I heard it. It was being used to describe some kind German angst or something... I think it was about the time I ran away from Germany in Europe and had Interpol looking for us. That's another story. (Teaser: I was 17 at the time and visiting my best friend in high school who was studying abroad outside of Hamburg. It was a dare gone awry... in a not so bad way - basically we did it for the adventure and to prove we could actually go through with things (we were pretty noncommittal those days).)

Anyway, besides introducing me to Campari (which was my favorite drink until I was 25), the Germans introduced me to angst. According to dictionary.com, there is good reason I associate angst with Germans.

angst [(ahngkst)]

A kind of fear or anxiety; Angst is German for “fear.” It is usually applied to a deep and essentially philosophical anxiety about the world in general or personal freedom. (See existentialism.)

Ah, yes, my old friend existentialism. Love ya Sartre. Simone de Beauvior. Camus. Depeche Mode. The Cure. Etc. Needless to say I was a very angst teenager. Actually, the angsty part of me has changed very little, matured a bit, doesn't come out as often. Any given day you could come home and find me pondering the nature of reality and depressed at how little the evolution is happening (I did that already on the blog today).

Anyway, the point of this blog post is PIMPING this cool event that LeahPeah is putting on called LA Angst. Actually, it's the second LA Angst.

LA Angst is a monthly reading series hosted by Leah Peterson in the greater Los Angeles area. We gather together to read our most embarrassing, humiliating, angst ridden and otherwise absolutely wonderful writing from our youth. Every month, selected readers comb through their middle school and high school writing and pick something that represents how completely impossible it is to grow up without looking back in shame. Join us for some entertaining, therapeutic and hysterical fun!

Yeah. Maybe I can even wrangle up some angsty teenage heather prose from that running away from Germany trip. Or minimally the first time I was in Brazil. Come along to Tangier - they have great pots du creme and martinis.

LA Story

From the "another day in LA" category. I was driving down Santa Monica Blvd yesterday evening for Andrew's Web Review Meeting. The road was not it's usually jam packedness. The temperature has cooled off and I was listening to an old mix CD filled with my favorite mashups from two years ago. I was in a strange mood and missing the time when everywhere I turned I seemed to be in love with LA. Whereas recently I have been tired with the heat, the noise, smell, pressure.

I was in Beverly Hills, where SMB goes from 3 lanes into 2 lanes to 3 lanes or something like that. It was here that me and another guy started merging into the same (middle) lane. I'm not sure if he actually had a lane, or was pulling one of those, right turn lane moves, where you gun it to pass the right/center lane car to get in front of it. I was in the left lane, had my blinker on to get into the center lane. We both started merging into the center lane about the same time. I was accelerating because I saw he looked like he was merging into it too. He gunned his Black Truck and started yelling at me at the top of his lungs. I don't remember when I heard the last time someone yelled so loud. I could clearly hear him over my blasting base mashup. I was shocked at his reaction. He was as responsible for the situation as I was.  He zipped in front of me and I took my standard reaction to let him get as far away from me as possible. He was clearly crazy.
But you don't get away from someone so easily in this part of town. In fact, he later slowed down, whereas I passed him and he unloaded another barrage of negativity berating my "bad" driving. Whereas I responded back at him (yes, we were having a conversation while driving...) that he needed to chill the fuck out, and I had my blinker on, and that he might have a better life if he changed his attitude. Fate stopped us at different levels at the stoplight so our conversation could cease. I was thinking that the world is turning in a bad way and the negativity is sometimes too overwhelming for me to deal with it.

However later, the guy drove up next to me and apologized to me. He explained he was having a bad day and just wanted to get home. I can certainly understand his need and it's nice to see the small enlightenment he had (and his apology). But still... sometimes this world is just too much. The small steps of enlightenment are just that. I should be grateful for any small pieces, but instead, it just reminds me how fucked up we are.

Dog does not eat Avocado

Yesterday I came home to find an avocado on the bed. Apparently while I was gone, the dog decided he was hungry (or more likely - wanted some attention) and jumped up and snagged the fruit. What's funny is that there was only one small puncture hole in the avocado and then it was left for naught. I guess the dog didn't want avocado after all. He has recently scored a stick of butter. Ah, the joy of pets.

Thoughts Percolating

Friday I was hit with a big does of project creativity working on the various unicorn forms for my burning man camp. I was mocking out the 7ft metal structure, when staring out into the yard, I spied a pair of sawhorses. And the vision of transformation hit me. Or rather a vision that transformed the sawhorses into unicorns hit me. So I mocked it all out and proceeded to plan to work in wood.

That put on a trip down memory lane. Back to shop class in 8th grade (I was one of 4 girls) and metal working class in 7th grade. It was great fun to map out the plans and make templates/patterns. I imagined this was similar in a way to what Suz did when she was a pattern maker. And I could see the challenges in doing this work. Then I spent 2 hours at home depot gathering materials. I realized how thankful I am that I do not have to cut the trees myself or plane them for smooth edges. And I realized the amount of work it took to be a carpenter back in the day. You had to have tools, building knowledge, wood and tree knowledge (like do you want to map out your template against or with the grain of the wood?) and which wood is best for the thing you are working on?  And then of course my mind wandered to Jesus. (Disclaimer: do not think I am going all Christian on you, I am not - it's just the Jesus Year, ok.) And I was thinking about being a carpenter was about creating. Starting from a basic idea and some basic materials, a carpenter makes real an idea - cabinets, furniture, a house.

And the act of creating, the practice of creating something over and over gives one a lot of power and insight, not to mention skills.

A comment on my suicide post a few weeks ago. There is a follow-up rattling around in my head called, the human is dead, long live the human. When the human sheds its form and becomes something different and at the same time retains human shape.

Which reminds me of detachment. Recapitulation. Self-observation. The Confessional. The act of Confession, practicing Buddhist detachment, the warrior's method of recapitulation, and Gurdjieff's self-observations methods are all methods to the same end. Awareness of the many facets of our personality, (bonus points for understanding that others have many same and different facets), detaching from those facets as our ultimate identity (realizing the collection of facets is not You), and forgive oneself when those personalities manifest themselves to us/in us again.

Hey, wasn't that one of the roles of the pantheon of Gods? (I am just remembering an idea I had about this.) It was because the Gods/desses were making you do it, or you were under the influence of that Goddess, or you pissed one of them off. The Gods gave standard metaphors for a  personality characteristics that you and I have. It's a facet inside us. The gods and goddesses are in_side us. But they are not us. Yes, we are puppets of the gods, until we are master of ourselves, and then the gods are the puppets.

Anyway, enough on this subject for Sunday morning. I've got some projects to manifest.