So, as you know, the heathervescent has spent a lot of time on airplanes this year. I've flown first class, business class, economy plus, and economy - all levels and on about 10 different airlines (I have no loyalty).
I quickly created my own airplane amenities bag, that rivals even the best first class offerings, with full size of moisturizers, wet wipes, Dr. Hausha's lip balm, face mister, thick plushy eye mask and my leather moccasins. Right now, I'm rocking out at a window seat in the bulkhead row of economy and the only thing I'm missing is the footrest. Anyway, I digress.... I was going to talk about the bathrooms.
I kind of love airplane bathrooms. They are tiny and compact. They have little nooks and cranny's. Some of them have nice soap and my business class flight from London to Rio even had roses in the bathroom. I LOVED that touch! Anyway, one thing that doesn't change when you're flying Business class is the MESS that people make in the bathroom. I mean, water all over the floor, leaving the basin practically overflowing with soapy water, water splashed all over the place. And guys, seriously, if you're drunkedly pissing on the floor due to all the free drinks... well, at least I am not married to you, disgusting shits despite sharing this 10 hour flight from London to Los Angeles. (True story!)
Anyway, I was going to talk about cleaning the airplane bathrooms. It's something I do quite frequently. It started when I was 13 or 14. I think it was when I flew to Paris in first class. Back then they still had the tiny soaps. I'd go to the bathroom, do my business, and then give the bathroom a quick wipedown, sometimes leaving a towel and little soap folded nicely for the next person. You see, I like to make the kind of world I want to live in. I want to experience certain things... but I can't do those things for myself. And no one is really like me, and most do not think like me, so I'll really never experience the world the way I want to experience it, but I can give someone else a taste of how I might want to experience the world.
So I clean the airplane bathroom.
I was given pause to reflect about this today, when I was waiting in line for the bathroom. Two people were ahead of me. The door opened. The lady took one look inside and with an aire of disdain (and I do mean air"e") stated she would wait for the other one. The guy opted to use it. Quickly I might add. And he was out before the other bathroom finished. Lady continued to disreguard and I thought... how bad could it be. Worse than that Virgin Atlantic Upper Class drunk pisser? I asked the Flight Attendant for some supplies (wet paper towel and a can of club soda) and went in.
It wasn't that bad. But it was a mess. I went to work. Cleaning, wiping, using the soap. (The trick to cleaning a wet airplane bathroom floor? Throw papertowels on the floor, use your foot/shoe to wipe them all over the floor picking up the wet fluid. Use the paper towels liberally. Then grab another few paper towels, unfold them and use them to pick up semi-moist floor towels. Throw the big mess in the trash (by holding the trash door open with your other hand). Then wash your hands.
And now, the mess is gone.
And I'm back to living in the world I want to live in.