Note: This blog post is cross-posted from The Work 101 Blog.
I’ve had a few reservations about the work since I joined the group in July. I always move towards collaborative working relationships, however not all of them have turned out great. In fact, several of my recent past collaborative relationships have ended on bad terms. I’ve had a fear that this may happen with the work group and have been holding my breath, wondering how long until there is a defining divisive fight; hoping it will never happen. I’ve spent the morning talking with one of my collaborators, Kaye, about this fear and something she said made me positively reframe it.
“One of the reasons I keep coming back to the work, is because of the fights and how we resolve them. Trusting that even when we have fights, that they will get resolved, and get resolved in a way that makes us stronger.” The first fight is critical because you directly experience how someone fights. And what is a fight anyway? An emotionally heated disagreement. How do you resolve the differences and move beyond them? These resolved “fights” become part of the collaboration. An experience of how others work with each other when they have differing points of view.
Everyone has different perspectives, experiences and objectives. When working collaboratively, there are times when you will disagree with others. In one recent work session, I found myself both agreeing and disagreeing with my collaborators – sometimes at the same time with different topics. As my collaborators spoke, I saw their perspectives.
I found myself aligned with what one said, and saw I wasn’t in the same place as another. There was no problem in that. We all worked together to create what each of us needed. It’s not about being right or a particular person being in charge – it’s about working together to create what we jointly want to create. Collaborative work creates the space for disagreements with respect.
I realized I had nothing to worry. My “first fight” with my work101 collaborators was months ago. We have already moved beyond those disagreements leaving only the space for our collaborative work.
Practical Futurist, Co-Creator of theWork101