The first time always has an edge. It's a walk into the unknown. The fear is different.
Dark passageways reminded me of lava tubes near Mt St Helens. Pitch black, the machinery reminds me of Aliens, movie scenes, James Bond, exploration. Black dust everywhere. Strange sounds. Skuttling. Hands are covered in a fine film of black. Machinery becomes seen with a flash. Huge gears the size of my hand. Standing silent. Walking up 4 flights of stairs only to come out ground level. Wind blows through plastic strips. Big gaping mouth. It speaks to me. Tells me of eternity moments. Activity and movement. Only now Entropy. But it remembers. I remember too.
Fear kicks in. I've been keeping it at bay. I've been breathing calmly. Stepping lightly. Vacillating between calm and chaos. I kind of enjoy feeling the fear. It's real fear - primal uncontrollable - just on the edge of freakout. I ride the edge with my breath, centering and flit off the edge. Indulge in the fear. Roll it around my spinal cord. Feeling it in my gut.
Then it's time to move. The way down is 6 stories up on an amazing edifice. I'm in awe at the engineer who built this place. What an edifice. What a legacy. What a feat. A Physical Manifestation. For a time.
I'm glad I could see it, admire it. I'm glad I felt the fear.