I'm checked in. My belly is full. My body is fresh showered clean. The Pixies are playing through my tinney laptop speakers. I'm remembering the sunset, wind whipping through my hair. Top down, zipping at 90 miles an hour. Seven hours across the desert - from Hollywood though the Mojave and then down into the .... is it the Colorado Desert? With the Saguaro Cacti? With the flat expanses and crumbling pedestals of mountains.
Drinking not one drop of coffee, instead having tea with Joseph Campbell and Napoleon Hill. I'm listening to his masterpiece and thinking... have I heard this before? How did I more or less implement his methodology before even hearing of him? It wouldn't be the first time I "discovered" something for myself only to find out there are books written on the subject. These books are huge cairns on my own path.
Anyway, I've been inspired to get very specific with my goals. I was kind of lax the past couple years focusing instead on a theme. And look where that got me? Listening to the CDs also made me take stock of my past "failures". Well, the things I consider failures, because they were not smashing successes. Learning from other people's failures (all those startups that didn't make it).
My attitude has recently changed. Somewhere over the past 6 months, I got sucked into William Burrough's Duad. And that's a fucking horrible place, skueze my french, if you've ever visited. However in the past few days I've managed to pull myself out of the muck and my conversation with Campbell and Hill this afternoon was the shower after the shit. It was like the fog lifting and remember who I am, what I do and how I do it.
Whew. It feels good to be myself again.