heathervescent

Going offline for a few days

Hello blog, I'm headed off to celebrate the end of the year and the blasting in of a new one this weekend. Even if I'm at a party, I always take a moment of silence or two outside at the exact changing over of the year. To focus my intent on what I will accomplish the next year. This last week of the year has been very fertile. And although I've railed against the mainstream my entire life, I am excited and energized to make this one of my focuses next year. I've already seen so many glimpses on how to make that happen.

G'night blog. See ya next year.

A Story on Firestarting

I occasionally attend a multi-day gathering with friends at an old homesteader cabin in the Mojave. The area is desolate, and for one weekend we bring in generators and DJ equipment, a stage and about 80 people camp, party and generally have a good time. We shoot guns at the private range and generally engage in standard desert activities: eating, drinking, esoteric conversations and taking in the natural beauty of the desert. At night it is cold, so we have fires - inevitably started by yours truly.

In this particular weekend, it was unseasonably cold and as the sun set, everyone was gathered in and around the cabin. It was crammed in there while no one was paying attention to the cold desert beauty at dusk. So I went outside to start a fire. At first, it was just me and Sam, and a friend or two stopping by. We chucked more wood into it and really got it going. Then others came out and started adding wood and pretty soon there were a lot of people by the fire. The fire was going really well and people were enjoying adding wood and taking care of it. Since there were 2 other fire pit possibilities and plenty of wood, I moved onto start another fire in another location.

Same story as the first one. At first it was me and Sam (my firestarting partner) stacking the wood, the newspaper, twigs and lighting the match in several locations. We always get the fire started on the first try. Again, we were alone with the fire, but slowly folks moved from the first fire and others from the cabin came out to be around the second fire. It was closer to the stage and dance area so people would stop by to warm up between dancing and wandering.

The same thing happened for the third fire. At that point I would occasionally need to add wood to the previous other fires.

I feel like that's what happened here in LA Tech. There are tons of people around adding fuel to the fire, chucking on their own pieces of wood. Making a fire bigger and even starting their own. The fires are beautiful and roiling. It's very hot and going quite nicely.

Modern Mainstream percolation

The mainstream is composed of individuals each trying to be what they think they want to be. To succeed in the mainstream, you have to help all those individuals reach their goals (whether they know what they are or not). Approaching the mainstream as a homogenous lug isn't going to make for success. I guess that's why I've failed/not been interested in the past. I've seen the mainstream as a clueless mob mass. Maybe that's the way it was in Marshal McLuhan's past, but not today. The mainstream is universe of stars. "Every man and woman is a star" A.C.

So to enter the modern mainstream, you must appeal to the concept of individuals, not mass.

I've got some observations about Apple and Google on this topic, but I've got a lot of work and I more or less took the day off yesterday, so must get crackin!

Recap 2007: A Year of Pimping and Promoting

I knew 2006 was going to be a hard year to follow. I didn't even try to come up with a goal as big as "to kick ass" for 2007, because I thought there was no way I could even come close. Instead 2007 was the year of 007- double triangle - the Jesus Year.

My goals were to 1) find my reason for existence; 2) pimp and promote; 3) simplify; and 4) create. At the bottom of list in my 2007 guidebook I found this in my own handwriting: "Rally myself into an unstoppable brand." I find that humorous. My only specific goal was to spend 40 days in the desert, because hey - it's the Jesus year, right? I didn't hit that one. I just couldn't take myself away from my projects for 40 days. So how did I do? Pretty awesome actually. Specifics after the jump.

Back on the GTD Wagon

Here's the third episode in my "Falling off the GTD wagon" series. You can find the first and second ones here.

More Thoughts

What a strange day yesterday was. Woke up in R's gorgeous house. Being in R's house was so comfortable, it felt like home. More home than the place I inhabit in Hollywood. Packed up and headed to San Mateo for breakfast date. "I was an asshole the last time we met here." I've forgotten those times. I've acquired the ability to drop/ignore/neutralize the negativity of past interactions - to remember only the abstract affection.

Then I was on my old commute freeways, driving it LA style - the way I always drove. "Tires kissing several highways". Threading the needle. Remembering 10 years of driving these roads, looking at how things had changed - and yet stayed the same. (So cliche for a reason.)

Cell phone talking speeding across the San Mateo bridge. Three full lanes both ways. So many nights I took this home. Engraved neural pathways, body never forgets. I allowed myself to go on an old autopilot in an upgraded plane.

Then the central valley and brainstorming with Chicken John. He was headed back to SF, while I was going the opposite direction. Fate caused a pause in our travels for a cup of conversation in Santa Nella. We talked about shows, tours, communities, sortition, technology. He talked about exit strategies and death, I told him of my stair stepped bell-curve, a way to trick "death"; he pointed out the larger fractal picture. Death, ending, exit strategy is always there. That reminded me of the Void to Full (and vice versa) polarity. Something can not become full without first being emptied. We walked dammit in the parking lot. And then he went north, while I went south.

I hit the bad traffic and pulled out of the mainstream - took a side road. But a quick stop caused another surprise. I ran into Uwe and Ji - old colleagues from iAmaze/AOL days. They were on their way to LA. I tipped them about my secret route and told them to call me when they got to Hollywood. Then I was in the desolate lands. 33. Through orchards and oil wells. Remembering the last time I took this road. I was taking Lady Knight to LA. It was my first big solo motorcycle trip. In August, it was a hot dusty quasi-desert - desolate is not a word to describe what the landscape was.

All this way I am listening to Jim Collin's Good to Great. 10 hours of instruction, revelation, understanding.

It's almost too much to take in. Data swirling into the tornado from different areas: Open Space Technology. The Shocking News. Jim Collins. Chicken John. My Obsessions. Possibilities. Revelations.

I am exhausted. I sit at the center with my tea set. White linen tablecloth. Tea pot, milk, sugar on hand-crocheted doilies. The winds of possibilities build the tornado stronger and stronger, my calm in the center, calmer and calmer.

I was distracted. I was knocked off course. I lost faith. I questioned myself. But I have returned. You can not know order, without getting swept into the chaos. You can not create, without tasting the destruction. You can not know your own strength, without doubting it. You can not move through fear, without being intimate with it. You can not do the impossible, without questioning whether it is possible.

The mortar between the bricks. // The glue that dries clear.
I have plowed the sea.
That scene in one of the Sargasso Bronte romance.
An eternal golden braid.
yes, and...
  "In the process i hope i become irrelevant"
Leave no trace.
The journey is the destination.

It's not about the messed up ball of yarn at the beginning; or the perfectly coiled yarn at the end. It's in the unwinding. And then in what you make of the yarn. In that, the yarn is unchanged.

"The geese in the sky have no desire to leave a shadow across the lake. The lake has no desire to receive it."
- A Zen Koan

SF Thoughts

I've been San Francisco for the past few days. It's the first time since I left that I haven't had weird twangs from my past life. I've started to make new memories. I'm staying at one of my oldest friends and her house is so comfortable, I feel at home. The first night, I rolled over half expecting to find S and was surprised not to.

I've really enjoyed the brisk mornings and my commute up 19th Ave through the Park, watching the two orange horns of the Golden Gate appear behind the hills of green. Then it's just historic buildings and the bay and a room full of people with interesting activities, learnings from very many diverse backgrounds.

I had some surprising news last night. Shocking in fact, because it hit me like a baseball bat out of left field and knocked my emotions into a pulpy bloody mess. News that makes everything else in my life so small, my recent angsts so petty. The only reassurance I have is that possibilities I know will never exist in this limited reality, must exist in another. It's a second golden ticket from the universe. And the pain and payment for this one is much greater. "The broken mayonnaise jar on the white kitchen floor." A hard reminder that every moment counts. Every infinite moment in the actual past or future. I will not grieve yet. Not for the future that can not be or lost moments of the past. There are moments now - today. And if I am aware, I can make each moment last for infinity.

There is a trick in there. But here, on this longest, darkest night of the year, I can't find it. I have found the faith to be what I am and had it shattered in the same day. That makes my faith stronger and makes me hate it - the strength binding me. It makes the drive for me to be what I am even stronger. That is trick in this ticket. The shattering of what will never be. And because it will never be, I must become what I am. No more hiding in the curtains.

Geek Dinner recap

That was one awesome geek dinner last night. I think we had most of the heavy hitters of the LA Tech Community in attendance. Lots of new faces (thanks to the article). The food wasn't that great, but we made up for it in great company. We had a link with the South Bay (in NorCal) geek dinner and I broadcasted our geek dinner via Justin.tv. It was loud on both ends and we can definitely improve the experience, but it was great to have the link with them.

I'm about to jump into my car and blast up to San Francisco for Open Space Training. I'm very excited about this. I woke up this morning with the idea for my next/first official open space event early next year and a vision from a location in the past. Karnak.

Last night, as we went around the room, each table read off their top 3 stories for 2007 and predicted the stories for 2008. Nicole Jordan wrote that 2008 is the year for LA. I couldn't agree with her more.

A shot of faith and inspiration

Just watch this.

Virtual Combined Geek Dinner

Tonight will be the first ever NorCal/SoCal Geek Dinner!

Bring your laptops and EVDO or other wireless broadband connections. Bring a webcam if you have one, although I will have some available.

And, you can still tune if you can't make it in person.

NorCal (South Bay) is here:
http://www.justin.tv/sbgeekdinner
RSVP: http://upcoming.yahoo.com/event/384133/

LA (Santa Monica) is here:
http://www.justin.tv/lageekdinner or
http://www.stickam.com/profile/lageekdinner
RSVP: http://upcoming.yahoo.com/event/383895/