Falling like never before

I consider myself to be pretty experienced in many things. More experienced than most in most things. I pay attention. I empathize. I learn. I experience. But recently the world has completely knocked me off my feet in a way that I never thought possible. I thought I knew what love was. It turns out, I had only kissed the tip of the iceberg.

All the men I've loved, I've met in extraordinary ways. I won't enumerate them and their stories, although they are amazing stories. I released their bonds earlier this year. Then, I watched my brother get married last month and cynically stood toward the back. I did not challenge what they did. I was in awe. I thought there's no way I could ever do that. Selfish, self-centered, self-serving cynical jaded Heather.

And then Mr. Jauntie wields the cast iron frying pan.

There's a fabulous story, but I can't tell it here now. I'll distill it down to: keep the faith, be careful what you wish you, you'll get it, and always, always do the "right" thing; because the universe delivers its side and it will slap your hand if you don't deliver on yours.

As the beautiful Cabalist's wife in the Sargasso Manuscript says, "All these adventures begin simply. The listener thinks it'll soon be over, but one story creates another and then another."

"Fast, slow, it doesn't matter. You know that feeling of inevitability?"

Inevitable it is. An inevitable adventure. And I should expect nothing less.

Comments

[Chad K]

Each time I visit your blog, I am amazed at your level of self-awareness...it rivals my own! Posts like this, however, make me wonder if you have discovered what would truly make you happy in a relationship. Not to suggest that the average person DOES know, but your introspection and missions of self-discovery have to have led you to this subject before, eh?

[heathervescent]

Well, I have a pretty good idea of what makes me happy with someone. I know the characteristics that are important to me. (Yes, I do have a list.) I don't think I'm extremely picky (unlike some of my friends). I accept people for who they are. I generally know what I want.

I've dated a lot of interesting people, that have challenged me in many ways. But never has the universe served up such a perfect plate. Matched on so many kick-ass levels that even the jaded cynic is left speechless - from the moment we met. (Part of it was the set-up, a story I will tell one day.) Still, I could eat these words at some point in the future, except, it seems, I don't spend much time there anymore.